Falling, Falling, Fallen
by Crimson-Eyes26
Summary: Alternate route after "Bat in the Belfry". Donnie has grown frustrated with April's erratic behavior concerning the Aeon Crystal. After standing by for too long, he finally decides to take action and confront his friend. When April goes over the edge, she must to everything she can to save their friendship...and Donnie's life.
1. Slipping

**Author's Note: I want to reassure you that I'm still working on Turtle Dove stuff; I've just been dealing with another case of writer's block. I'm working on that while I've been working on this one, too. This is one of my story ideas I briefly announced, and I hope you all enjoy this one. This is going to be an alternate take after "Bat in the Belfry" and addressing April's addiction to the Aeon Crystal. However, it's going to take a darker turn, though I don't know if it'll be as dark as "The Power Inside Her". Either way, I hope it's painfully enjoyable for all of you!**

 **Along with this one, like I said, I'll be posting more Turtle Dove stuff before long. I may even post my Donnie and the Aeon Crystal story and a new chapter to "Things Unseen"...after a few years.**

 **Anyway, rambling over! Be sure to read and review!**

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Chapter 1: Slipping

Donatello focused his eyes through the eyepiece on the microscope and studied the red discs scattered on the pink-tinged background. Nothing appeared out of the ordinary, and the chemical analysis came back clean, too. Everything kept coming back normal, and that was what frustrated him the most. He should be happy everything came back normal, but nothing about this was normal, or even remotely okay. There were red flags popping up every second and scientific methods couldn't give him an answer.

He didn't have anything scientific that could help April.

 _"April…are you okay?"_

 _"It's MY crystal. I'm never gonna take it off for anyone, or ANYTHING, ever again."_

Donnie sighed and massaged his temples with weary hands. April's growing obsession with that Aeon crystal disturbed him, and her behavior that night disturbed him even more. Just asking her if he could examine it earned him a slap on the hand and April angrily yelling at him to back off. Losing the Aeon crystal thanks to Mikey's thoughtless curiosity gave an angrier reaction, with April accusing all of them of stealing it. Splinter called her out on both her obsession and overuse of the object.

 _"You are not thinking clearly, April."_

 _"But-but Master Splinter, my-my crystal!"_

 _"You are too attached to that object. The crystal is a crutch. I recommend against using it."_

 _"It's NOT a crutch! It's just…really important to me, and now it's MISSING!"_

Whether April wanted to admit it or not, the crystal was indeed a crutch. That's what Donnie couldn't understand. When she first received the stone from the Aeons, she acted perfectly normal. The few times she used it in space, she remained normal; the April they all knew. What changed? He thought about it for a moment and realized when he noticed the changes. They all seemed to start after April decided to take on that freak Shinigami one-on-one.

April more-or-less got creamed by the more-experienced Shinigami, and she was about to do something April O'Neil would've never done…she was about to literally stab the witch in the back. Sure, Shinigami pretty much kicked April while she was down, and beat her twice in one night, but attempting to stab her in the back over wounded pride was over-the-top. Unfortunately, the changes didn't stop there, and Donnie drummed his fingers over the computer keyboard in deep thought.

 _April's attachment to the Aeon Crystal: Symptoms similar to human substance addiction._

 _Symptoms as follows: Headaches, nightmares, increased dependency on object in question, mood swings, withdrawal combined with violent behavior when without object in question, denial of addiction, reduced inhibitions, paranoia._

 _Recommended treatment: Attempt to wean April off the crystal until dependency is gone. Complete removal at once will risk worsening symptoms._

 _Problem: April is no longer willing to talk about addiction to the crystal. Will not part with the crystal even for experimental purposes._

 _Crystal: Seems to possess life-giving properties, almost appearing sentient. Anything given life by the crystal will grow violent when in close proximity of it. Does not seem to affect others…only April._

Donnie saved the information and shut the computer off with another sigh. He could analyze the crystal until he had nothing left to analyze. He could talk to April until he was blue in the face…but he wasn't a counselor. An inventor, a chemist, an engineer, yes…but he wasn't a professional when it came to mystical alien crystals and their effects on psychics. At the same time, he felt that if he didn't do something soon, April would just get worse. What if she used so much of that crystal's power that her brain literally exploded? What if she used her powers to make someone else turn inside-out if angered enough?

Having enough of the morbid thoughts, he pushed himself from his chair and decided time out of the lab was in order. When he exited the lab, he found his brothers quietly watching _Chris Bradford's 2 Ruff Krew_ and eating leftover pizza. Then he looked over to the far end of the sofa and found April. She sat with her eyes closed, head down, and hand firmly gripping the crystal; the same position she sat in after returning from fighting Wingnut and Screwloose. He took notice that his brothers sat several feet **away** from her, perhaps wary of her earlier behavior. Donnie suddenly took notice of Michelangelo entering the room holding a plate of pizza, and judging by the way he cautiously approached the redhead, it was a peace offering.

"…April?" Mikey held the plate close to her and smiled nervously. "Sorry about taking your crystal. I just wanted to see if it could bring stuff to life, and I really should've asked you first. Will you accept the Slice of Peace?"

April didn't look up, but a faint grunt came out. To most, that would be a sign to run as fast as they could…but Mikey, unfortunately, didn't take hints most of the time. He pushed the pizza and plate closer to April and urged, "Please, April? Pretty please with sugar on top-"

"Keep away from me, you thief!"

Before Mikey had time to dodge, April viciously slapped the plate from his hands and shoved him to the floor. He landed on the floor with a thud and a groan, stunned by what April did and how much force she used. Mikey glanced at the pizza now splattered on the floor and honestly appeared heartbroken, though April didn't seem to care. Everyone could see the venom in her blue eyes and her hand still holding a death-grip around that crystal.

"April, I…" Mikey attempted quietly, but the redhead cut him off.

"Next time you steal MY crystal, I'll throw you off a building." She glowered, the anger in her eyes making her look foreign to the others. "Stealing things for you little games stops-"

"April, I think you should go home."

It wasn't Leo who spoke the request. To everyone's surprise, Donnie was the one to voice it. Even April looked stunned that Donnie would want her to leave the lair; knowing him, he'd encourage her to stay as long as she wanted. Yet Donnie stood, eyeing the fallen Mikey with worry, then looked at April with a somber expression, fighting to keep himself in check and to keep some control over the situation.

April hurriedly opened her mouth a few times and finally spoke, "Donnie, I was just-"

"It's been a long night, and I think you need some rest to clear your head."

Donnie implying-no, accusing her of thinking irrationally made April scoff. She was the only person here thinking rationally tonight, since Mikey proved that he couldn't keep his hands off someone else's property. All just to bring some dumb comic-book characters to life, too. They didn't make a big deal out of her losing the crystal, but they were just too ignorant to realize it's importance to her. Now Donnie had the gall to accuse her of being the irrational one. Since when did he decide it was okay to talk back?

"So you're going to take Mikey's side?" The redhead spat viciously, taking everyone but Donnie by surprise. "You always do that! You let him get away with stealing from me because he's the baby-"

"Just GO, April!"

April's venomous rant skidded to a halt when Donnie snapped at her. Her anger evaporated when she visibly flinched at the volume of his voice, something she never expected out of the normally-reserved Donatello. Stunned blue eyes scanned the genius turtle taking deep, calming breaths, pondering his next course of action. Donnie finally sighed and shook his head in exasperation and gave April a look that was indifferent, to say the least. No amorous gaze, no worried stare…just a stone-cold expression.

"Just…just go on home." He begged calmly. "We'll talk tomorrow."

The redhead remained speechless from Donnie's loud command. Her body rose on its own, as if she went on auto-pilot, and she only looked at Donnie. Part of her hope he would flounder and apologize profusely, like he always did. Instead he said nothing, his gaze telling her to listen to his command for her own good. Blue eyes flashed at him, and she even fluttered her eyelashes in hopes he would cave. But he wasn't going to falter…not this time. Donnie wanted her out of the lair.

Gathering herself, April muttered a 'fine' before trudging into the tunnels beyond, disappearing out of view a few seconds later. When the brothers felt assured she was out of earshot, three pairs of eyes glued to Donatello in shock. Donnie, the very person who had jelly-legs over the redhead, wanted her to leave. Donnie, the very person who welcomed having time with April…now wanting her gone? Looks like April wasn't the only one with a changing mood.

"Donnie…what was up with that?" Leo asked incredulously.

The purple-masked turtle sighed and pinched the skin between his eyes. "I didn't mean to snap…I've just been a little frustrated after tonight, that's all. I just lost my temper for a second…"

Back on his feet, Mikey kept his head down and dug his toes into the floor. He noticed the ruined pizza on the floor and remembered what started on this, immediately feeling guilty for April's mood whiplash and now Donnie's moment of anger. "I'm sorry, D…it's all my fault. If I hadn't stolen April's crystal, she wouldn't be-"

"Mikey, she was acting like this before you took her crystal." Without warning, Donnie reached over and smacked Mikey in the back of the head. "Which was VERY stupid, mind you." Ignoring his brother hissing in pain, he continued, "Ever since she squared off with Shinigami, she's been obsessed with using that crystal. The way she used it to defeat that eyeball monster, then how she almost shot Leo down with the Turtle Blimp's cannon…it was all over the top."

"Kind of like she wanted to go out and hurt somebody?" Raph asked bluntly.

Donnie hesitated, but gave a quick nod. "It's…it's making her into an entirely different person, and that's what I don't get! She was perfectly fine in space!" He sat down and, to his brothers' surprise, slammed his fist into the couch. Apparently, April's bad mood started to affect him, too. "She never acted obsessed with that rock, and now if you even try to _talk_ about it, she'll bite your head off! It doesn't make any sense!"

Leo took a seat next to him and placed a calming hand on his shoulder. He could feel Donnie's breathing growing ragged with his frustration, and wished he could give his brother the answers he sought. So far, Master Splinter was the only one to bluntly tell April that she developed a full-blown addiction to the object for power; an 'easy way out'. Just as Donnie said, Shinigami defeating her-she and Karai rubbing it into April's face that she didn't deserve to be a kunoichi-began this sudden downward spiral. Did they strike a nerve that hard? Or was there another issue under the surface?

"Donnie…take it easy or YOU'LL be obsessed. We're worried about April as much as you are." Leo saw Donnie look up at him with a tinge of doubt, so he gave him a small smile to give him reassurance. "If this keeps up, we'll all have a talk with her. Kind of like an intervention, you know? Just don't get stressed out…"

As much as Leo's words offered comfort…Donnie felt they really didn't understand the growing severity of the situation. Donnie remembered what happened to the Aeons when they became obsessed with the Black Hole Generator piece. Something foreign to their world became their life and in-turn corrupted them. The Aeon crystal was foreign to Earth-April-and now became April's obsession. It made him wish Fugitoid was still here…

* * *

What was that all about?

April came home and asked herself that question non-stop. Not regarding Donnie…but herself. It was now she looked back and realized she acted, well, crazy when Mikey apologized. While she still felt upset by his theft of the crystal and didn't excuse it, her reaction to his attempts to patch things left her being no better. He tried to apologize, and all she did was shove him and yell at him; calling him a thief. Donnie's reaction still had her heart racing. She never saw him get angry with her, not even on his bad days.

Master Splinter's harsh words from earlier echoed through her mind. Using the crystal as a crutch…could he be right? Since Fugitoid wasn't there anymore to help her develop her powers, and Splinter was no psychic, she felt like she had to develop her powers herself. The crystal came along, and gave her the strength without the time-consuming work. Without the training needed to fully control it.

The more she thought about it, the more it seemed like she took the easy way out.

The crystal gave her the boost in power she needed, though, so why shouldn't she be protective of it? In the wrong hands, it could be dangerous; just look at Wingnut and Screwloose. Her anger towards Mikey for taking the crystal came back for a moment. He'd been doing a lot of foolish things lately and not getting reprimanded for it. Of course, she hardly reprimanded him, either, ever since the 'Mom-Thing' incident. But the anger disappeared, and she thought about her actions when Donnie merely asked to test the crystal.

Maybe taking a break from the crystal would help…

When April grasped the string attached to the crystal and attempted to lift it above her head, her hands literally trembled with weakness. The crystal felt like lead, and she couldn't lift it any further. Or maybe…her body didn't want her to lift it. She tried again, and she could feel tears welling up in her eyes. She was literally terrified of taking if off. Her hands felt like they were burning every time she wanted to take it off.

 _NO!_

April's own mental command halted her from attempting to take it off. She found herself somewhat disturbed that she was getting so upset over taking it off. But the thoughts came again, and a blanket of paranoia wrapped around her. What would happen if she took off the crystal? What if Dad came home and accidentally threw it in the trash? What if the Foot came and stole it to heal Shredder? What if Donnie snuck in and stole it for more 'tests'?

 _'Donnie wouldn't do that. He just wants to test it because he's worried.'_

 _'But what if they don't want you to be strong? They could want you to get rid of the crystal to make you weak again. Be back to little helpless Princess April.'_

 _'I'm not weak. I can do find without it…'_

 _'Can you? Did you do well without it against Shinigami? Remember how she and Karai both mocked you?'_

 _'They all want you weak. Especially Donnie and Splinter. If they take the crystal, you can never be a kunoichi again. Ever thought that maybe that's what Donnie wants?'_

Literally arguing with herself caused a dull pain in April's skull…and her hands slowly lifted away from the string securing the crystal. The calm returned at last. In fact, she became a little too calm; cold, even. One hand wrapped around the crystal with a tight grip, and her eyes narrowed in determination.

 _'Show them how strong you are. Show them that you're BETTER than them.'_

She would never be beaten by some parlor-trick witch again. She would never be defenseless and scared again. She would no longer be weak. She would no longer take orders concerning her precious crystal. She would never be told 'ninjas only' again by some stuck-up, wannabe hero. Not be told she was weak by some hypocritical hothead. Not have anything stolen from her by some attention-starved loser. Not be told to calm down by some soft-shelled romantic. Not be patronized by some old rat.

She would not let anyone separate her from the crystal ever again. If anyone did…even Donnie…they would be sorry.

* * *

 **I'm hoping I'm not making Donnie and April out of character in this. However, I feel like Donnie kind of let it go easily in the show because, well, it's April. I kind of think he's careful not to make her mad ever since the incident when her dad mutated. Here, however, he's clearly ready to call April out on her behavior, even if he's doing it while frustrated. With April, I believe the crystal is feeding into her paranoia that everyone wants her to get rid of the crystal and 'be weak', and that she desperately wants to better her psychic powers too soon. Plus, she's also thinking like an addict, and many addicts fall into denial of their habits and paranoia that everyone's out to take their happiness.**

 **The next chapter is going to be...pretty dark.**


	2. Breaking Point

**Author's Note: Whew, now this chapter is much longer than the first one. Now when I said this chapter's going to be dark, I mean it's going to be dark. I also want to emphasize that I'm not trying to make Donnie or April out of character in this story because, like I said, Donnie deserves to be frustrated at April when needed, and April is addicted to the crystal and in denial of it. You also know that a certain someone is planting lies in April's head to keep her attached to the crystal. Now you might want to get your tissues ready...'cause here we go.**

 **I want to give special thanks to kamechan98 and CJtheStoryteller for their input on this and other story ideas, as well as everyone who's reviewed so far! Be sure to read and review!**

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Chapter 2: Breaking Point

 _April opened her eyes and found herself in a fog. Peering through the fog granted her nothing but a dark void. Looking down, she found herself in her everyday clothes instead of her yellow space suit. The crystal she had just been gifted by the Aeons-a fragment of something called the Soul Star-rested delicately above her breasts from the makeshift necklace Fugitoid made. Still, she couldn't figure out what this place was or why she was here. Was this a dream? Was it a psychic vision? Wherever she was…she didn't feel alone._

 _"April O'Neil."_

 _April jumped at the deep, resonating voice. There was no sight of another person in this fog, so where did the voice come from? "…Who's there?"_

 _Silence. April suddenly decided she imagined the voice, choosing to resume searching for a way out of the darkness. As she turned, she found herself stopped by a disembodied pair of glowing blue eyes. No body, not even an outline or silhouette, which frightened her even more. The redhead opened her mouth to scream, but found some unseen force halting her. She could almost feel something holding up a hand in peace, yet it remained unseen. So far, whatever this thing was, it didn't mean harm._

 _"Do not be afraid, April O'Neil." The voice spoke gently. "I am a friend to you."_

 _"A friend?" April repeated cautiously. Glancing around nervously for a split-second, she instead decided to ask, "Where are we?"_

 _"This is your subconscious." The voice replied without pause. "You are asleep aboard the ship. You are the one that saved the Aeons. I could feel your conviction to save our planet, even at the detriment of your own. I thank you for preserving future generations of Aeons."_

 _April averted her eyes in a sheepish manner, mumbling a thank you to the unseen voice. Apparently, this was an Aeon, but what was it doing in her subconscious? But was it really an Aeon? What if it was some sort of Aeon god speaking to her? Did it come just to thank her for what happened? She didn't know whether to trust the word of some disembodied voice and eyes or not, but it couldn't be evil, could it? Not like the corrupted Aeons they encountered before unleashing the Soul Star._

 _"The Aeons have given you a powerful crystal; a very piece of the Soul Star." The voice spoke plainly. "It can be more than just a token of good fortune. Why not use it to hone your extraordinary gifts?"_

 _April's eyes widened. "It can do that?"_

 _She could almost feel the presence nod. "Yes. The crystal can grant you immeasurable power. It can give you the strength needed to save your home…to better yourself as a warrior." There was suddenly a pause, and the voice added, "You are special, April O'Neil. You have earned a place among the stars. Use the crystal to reach it, and become what you've always wanted to be."_

 _"Whoa, really?" April grew excited at the prospect of becoming stronger. She still felt miles behind the guys, especially without Splinter's guidance, but if the crystal could give her what she needed, she'd be okay. She could use it to hone her Kraang-based abilities and finally have the control she wanted over them. "T-Thank you! But…how do I use it? I really don't know how to tap into it."_

 _"Don't worry…I will help you. Just listen, and I will teach you to use the crystal."_

April's eyes fluttered open to stare at the familiar ceiling of her room. No white walls and ceiling of a space ship. Whether or not what just happened was a dream or a memory from space, she couldn't say. She still remembered that voice speaking to her just hours after leaving Xaava-Dal, and the guys knew nothing about it. If she told them that she heard a voice coming from the crystal, they'd think she was crazy. Perhaps that's why she wasn't so surprised to see the blue spectral mass coming from the crystal when Donnie tested it.

He could've broken the crystal with his careless testing. A sweep of the hand from his frequent naps on his desk could've shattered it like glass. Electrical shocks from his space staff could've made it explode. She knew he'd ask for it again because he now had it in his head that she started becoming 'addicted' to it.

 _'If he asks for it again, remind him of how much of a fool he is. Don't let him strip you of your power.'_

Without saying a word, April tucked the crystal behind the collar of her pajamas and readied herself to go to the lair.

* * *

Splinter glanced into the lab and found Donatello going over notes on his computer once again. The rat sighed, noticing the bags visible through his mask and the way his shoulders slumped in fatigue. He knew what the notes concerned…April. Since that night his son not-so-subtly told April to leave, he found him going over his notes without sleep, obsessively trying to figure out a solution. While Donatello's heart was always in the right place, it was also his biggest flaw.

If his second-youngest son wanted desperately to find a solution to a difficult problem, he wouldn't stop until he found said solution. Even if it meant driving himself into the ground. Looking for a cure for that Timothy boy made him go a week without sleep. Then Kirby O'Neil's mutation…then Karai's mutation…and now April's growing addiction to the alien stone. Donatello wouldn't stop until he found a way to change April back into the confident, energetic, and kind person she is. Not the angry, insecure, and paranoid being she started to become.

If only his son knew this wasn't his crusade to bear alone.

"Donatello."

Donnie immediately snorted himself awake at Master Splinter's call. Was he about to doze off again? He couldn't rest until he got an idea concerning April! His auburn eyes glided over to the clock in the lab and his face paled, something his father noticed. When he last checked the clock, it was 5:30 PM. It now read 10:45 AM…he went without sleep again. Hoping his father wouldn't realize it was over April again, he quickly exited out of his notes and attempted to look refreshed. Unfortunately for him, even his mask couldn't disguise his fatigue.

"S-Sensei!" Donnie greeted hastily, forcing a grin on his face and straightening himself in his chair. "I-I was just getting ready to go and fix breakfast-"

"You have gone without sleep again, my son." Splinter furrowed his brows, not impressed with the way his son pretended to act innocent in this matter. "I assume you were fretting over April's personality changes?"

The grin on Donnie's face melted and his shoulders slumped in defeat. It should've dawned on him by now that his efforts to hide his lack of self-care would always fail in the eyes of his observant father. Splinter and even Mikey were the ones to first address the volatile changes in April's behavior concerning the crystal, and Donnie admitted to himself that he was in denial at first because…well, because he loved her. He didn't want to believe that she could be turning into a different person. Yet his father and younger brother were willing to speak the truth, and he had to bring himself to accept it as well.

"…I'm honestly at the end of my rope, Sensei." Donnie admitted, looking down and twiddling his thumbs in his lap. "I can fix machines and mutations and minor illnesses…but I can't fix people. April's not some machine I can just fix with a few tools or a disease I can just give medicine to. I've…" A sigh, and he bitterly admitted, "I don't know how to solve addiction, Sensei. I don't know how to break her from that crystal without her hating me the rest of our lives."

As he always did, Splinter stroked his long beard in deep thought. "I know you are struggling for an answer, my son. April does not want to admit that she is putting too much priority in an object. I know you want to help her…" He leaned on his cane, and his serious expression melded into a somber one, looking at his son with utmost sympathy. "…But April must choose to want help. She will either give up the crystal on her own, or she will stay in denial of her addiction."

"But what if I don't say anything? What if she reaches the point of no return?" Donnie asked, a hint of panic in his voice.

Splinter quickly replied, "Donatello, sometimes one must reach their lowest point to realize they need help. I hope as well it doesn't come to that point…but we may have to let April hit rock bottom."

Donnie wanted to protest. He didn't want April to hit rock bottom, though he knew she would have to realize she had a problem to accept help. As he opened his mouth to argue, his father halted him.

"However, I do advise you to be careful, my son." Splinter warned. "Her addiction to the alien stone is obvious…but I also sense a darkness slowly choking her spirit. It is causing not just her mind to be volatile…it is also affecting her powers."

Donnie had to pause and digest his father's words. He recalled when April swiped the crystal from his lab and used it to kill that eyeball monster. She used her powers to slice through its head with her tessen, a look of cold determination on her face. When she used her powers to attempt to crush Shinigami and impale her with glass, the look of murderous intent on her face. What would she do next? Use her powers on _them_ if they said something to offend her?

"Whatever the case, we must have faith that April can overcome this. Now come, my son." The rat leaned on his jade cane once again and started out of the lab. "Let us meditate and clear our minds."

Donnie usually didn't turn to meditation to clear his mind, but he was willing to try anything if it meant finding a way to help April. As he trailed behind his father towards the dojo, he saw her. He saw April entering the lair, eyes darting around at everyone present and a face contorted in barely-controlled irritation. The other turtles and the visiting Casey suddenly stopped their rounds of arcade games to look at the kunoichi walking through like a ticking time bomb. Donnie could see the crystal carefully tucked away inside her jacket, a sign of her growing paranoia over its safekeeping. The hardened expression on her face also told him she was still mad over the Wingnut and Screwloose incident…three days ago.

"Uh…hey, Red." Casey greeted apprehensively, throwing up a calloused hand.

"Casey." April greeted, not even sparing him a glance, and kept on to the dojo.

"April." Splinter greeted sternly, eyes narrowed at the girl's sour attitude. "We are not training right now. Perhaps you would like to join Donatello and myself in meditation to clear your thoughts."

April bit back, "I'm _fine_. I'd rather practice with my tanto against you, Sensei. What's the point of having a weapon if you can't use it on somebody?"

Everyone looked shocked at April's desire to fight Master Splinter…or rather, her desire to inflict harm on someone. Sure, in the beginning, they knew learning ninjitsu brought her excitement at the thought of 'kicking butt', but she didn't want to learn it just to harm someone for no reason. She was definitely not acting like their April, and it grew worse with each day. Donnie grew antsy and wanted to just grab her and shake her, but he remained frozen by Splinter's side. He still feared what she would do if pushed over the edge.

"Save your itchy trigger finger for tonight." Raph stated, unimpressed by April's tough act. "We're goin' out on patrol."

"Good. I'm in the mood to put some hurt on somebody. But…" She turned to Raph and flashed a devilish smirk; a small sliver of hope that their April remained. "That doesn't mean we still can't warm up. Ready to get your butt whipped?"

Raph smirked back and replied, "As if! You're still behind us, sister. What makes you think you can actually get me with more than a lucky punch?"

The redhead's face suddenly darkened again, and she asked in a bitter tone, "What's the matter, Raph? Afraid you'll be taken down by a wannabe kunoichi? Or should I count the times your overconfidence let Leo beat you?"

The red-banded turtle frowned and muttered, "I was just jokin' around. Don't get your panties in a bunch."

"Back off, April." Leo ordered. "Or you're off patrol."

April opened her mouth to say something to him, but a look from Donnie made her choose to press her lips in a thin line. Without saying another word, she simply stalked off towards the dojo, leaving everyone else to grow anxious about training with her. What would patrol be like if she acted this way about training? It was only when she was in the dojo and out of sight that the others decided to speak.

"She's gettin' meaner, that's for sure…" Casey mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Dude, you know it's that crystal. She acts like she can't live without it." Mikey hissed back while he eyed the dojo with caution. "I wish those Aeon dudes never gave it to her."

Leo cut in, "Well, you know how the Aeons got corrupted by the Black Hole Generator piece? What if the crystal started out pure, but…but April's corrupting it?" He looked over to Donnie and asked, "…What do you think?"

Donnie paused, putting his fingers to his chin, and replied, "Well, it is a possibility. The generator piece was foreign to the Aeons, and it corrupted them. So, technically, we can say April is foreign to the crystal and could very well be corrupting it. Maybe from being in a foreign atmosphere, or her Kraang DNA, or a combination of factors…"

While everyone discussed the possibilities of the crystal, they were unaware of April standing at the dojo door. They didn't see when she gritted her teeth and placed a strangling hold around her precious crystal.

* * *

Nighttime finally came after several tense hours in the lair. After having to hear April go into 'rage mode', as Mikey called it, and be ultra-protective of the Aeon crystal, being able to go out soothed everyone's nerves ever so slightly. What made it better was that they didn't have to be in close proximity of her or her bad attitude. Patrol wasn't just about finding bad guys to fight; sometimes it was just about having fun and getting fresh air. The April they knew would be excited about a mission just for the opportunity of running free and forgetting their troubles. Yet April kept going with that same look of cold determination hiding barely-contained anger.

"Leo, do you think we should've made April stay behind?" Raph asked as his green eyes locked onto the silent redhead in the distance. "She keeps actin' like everyone's out to get 'er. I say we call patrol off."

"Let's just see how it goes, Raph." Leo insisted, watching the others stop on a neighboring building in his peripheral vision before joining his brother in watching April. "If it gets bad enough, we call it off early and talk to her. Maybe she'll be better tonight."

With a sigh, Raph replied, "…I hope you're right."

Donnie, meanwhile, trailed at healthy distance behind April, observing her movements and watching for any more changes. Anything at all that would tell him the crystal was an absolute danger to the others or April; more than it already was. So far, April said nothing to anyone and kept her distance…almost as if she feared they would steal that crystal. He wouldn't take it unless he absolutely had to. April would see it as him being mean, but she'd thank him in the long-run. But if it came down to it, how would he get close enough to get it without being psychically attacked?

April knew Donnie followed her, and knew the others were staying away from her. They were being smart, and if Donnie was smart, he'd back off, too. If they thought they could get their hands on her crystal, if they even _tried_ to, they'd be in for a rude awakening. Alone with her thoughts, April suddenly started questioning whether or not she was in-fact being paranoid. Donnie always followed her if he worried about her, and he and the others wouldn't be concerned about that crystal unless they felt all of them were at risk.

But they didn't need to worry. Donnie didn't need to worry. She had everything under control. She wasn't the weak girl grasping desperately for normality when they first met. She was a kunoichi. She had to be strong…strong enough to show she earned the title. The crystal helped her with that, and she could stop using it anytime she wanted. They didn't need to worry themselves sick over her.

 _'Look at them…they're all conspiring against you. They think you're growing too powerful. They think you're crazy. They'll take the crystal from you and use it for themselves. They want you weak again.'_

 _'They wouldn't do that…would they?'_

 _'You're working so hard to prove you're a kunoichi…but they still see you as weak compared to the Foot Queen and her parlor-trick witch. Don't let anyone rob you of your strength. Especially not that spineless coward Donatello.'_

The flicker of concern on her face disappeared, and the cold mask put itself back on her face. She thought once again of that night Shinigami brutally defeated her. Just the thought of the witch's name felt like someone poured acid in her brain, and even Karai had a similar effect. They both thought they were better than her. Yeah, they were more experienced, but they didn't even want to give her a chance. Even the guys never really gave her a chance…it was all about _Karai_. Not even Donnie supported her being strong because he still disillusioned himself that she was his princess. Weak. Pretty to look at. Her dark thoughts intensified as she hopped down from the building and onto the empty street below.

"Go away, Donnie!" April skidded to a halt and sharply turned to face the confused turtle several feet away from her. "I don't need you following me every step of the way!"

"Wha…April, I'm just watching your back! You know, like we always do with each other on patrol?" Donnie snorted, growing irritated with his friend's mood swings as of late. She always knew he watched her back and vice-versa; why decide to snap now? "What's going on with you?"

"I don't need you panicking if I get a scratch. You act like I'm made of glass and can't handle a punch! Or are you wanting to sneak up on me and snatch my crystal!?"

Donnie scoffed and retorted, "That's not true! What makes you think I believe that?"

It was at this time that the others caught up and saw the argument unfolding. From the looks of things, as they feared, April was about to lose her temper once again. Just the way she started clutching the crystal set off red flags. They had to step in and calm her down before things got out of hand.

"April, calm down." Leo insisted, taking a step forward and holding his hand out in a soothing gesture. "Nobody's going to-"

The redhead suddenly gritted her teeth, spinning around to face the leader in blue. "Don't tell me to calm down! Sorry that I can't be cool and tough like your little girlfriend! At least I don't blow my brothers up in a pathetic attempt to show her how cool I am!"

Leo's jaw slacked open from the awful reminder of when he assisted Karai in her revenge scheme. That night ended up with Donnie comatose for a while, something he still regretted. Raph felt the pain of his brother's silence and decided to do something about it. "Hey, watch it, April! You've got stuff in your head that's not-"

"Aw, and here I thought you liked somebody tearing Leo down, or is that a privilege just for you?" April asked, her tone condescending and faking sympathy. "Cheap coming from a guy who almost kills his brothers every other week. I mean, you tell me not to get in over my head, yet you think you're better than everyone else!"

Raph's eyes widened, and he muttered, "How dare you…"

Mikey decided to intervene, but April quickly caught it and stopped him with, "I know what you're going to say, 'oh it's the magic crystal making you crazy! Congrats, Mikey! Hey, maybe next time you'll use your 'super' intuition to actually take things serious instead of screwing everything up and handing us over to some barely-clothed witch!"

"Whoa, hey, don't bring Shinigami into this!" Mikey snapped with a point of his finger. "I get you're mad that she beat you, but don't take it out on us!"

"Of course you'll defend her. That's why you let her beat us by acting like some love-struck idiot! An idiot that steals someone's property because he wants to bring pieces of paper to life!" Seeing Casey out of the corner of her eye standing agape, she decided he was next, too. "Don't think I've forgotten about you. Mr. Everything-is-Metal. Me being able to hand your butt over to you is a threat to how macho you are, isn't it!? I don't wreck everything and everyone around me because I'm bored! How can you even be on this team if you're not a ninja!?"

The others stood speechless at April's sudden tirade. And then…

"That's it, April!"

They all turned, and they found Donnie literally seething. If they thought he was mad at April that night, they never saw him this mad before, and not at April. His eyes already bloodshot from a lack of sleep, his teeth gritting to the point of audible grinding, and fists clenched on each side, it all became clear. Donnie pretty much snapped, and April was about to have it. Because when Donnie got mad, he could cut deep.

"Are you talking back to me, Donnie?" April asked in a patronizing tone.

Instead of answering her antagonizing question, Donnie stomped forward and pointed an accusatory finger at his friend, one he never really stood up to until now. However, even a reserved, quiet genius had his breaking points. "You've been acting crazy since you became obsessed with that crystal! I don't know where you got it in your head that we think so little of you, but you are addicted to its power! Now you're standing around thinking we want the crystal for that reason! We don't! Why would we want power like that; why would YOU want power like that!?"

April crossed her arms and suddenly smirked, "So you finally got a backbone? And here I thought you were afraid of making me mad. Afraid I'll run off again?"

Just the way April asked the question made the others pale. Not only did April know Donnie still feared another episode of abandonment…she actually mocked it. This wasn't the April they knew. April wouldn't try to viciously cut them down. She wouldn't dare try to cut Donnie down for any reason. That crystal messed with her head…made her develop a different personality.

Instead of shutting Donnie up, the taunt only made him angrier. "Yeah, I do fear that, but that's nothing compared to you becoming a jerk! I get you want to better your powers, but this isn't the way! You're just using the crystal as a crutch because you don't want to deal with any struggle! The only one here saying you're not good enough is YOU!" Seeing April's eyes widen and jaw drop open told him that he hit hard. But he couldn't let up; he had to give her some more tough love to make her wake up. "We're here trying to tell you the truth, and you bite our heads off because you don't want a lecture! You don't want to admit you have a problem!"

"I don't have a problem! You all just have a problem with me becoming stronger!" April heatedly denied.

Donnie shook his head and replied, "We want you to be strong, but it shouldn't come at the cost of who you are. You shouldn't be willing to sacrifice your sense of self because you got creamed by some freak! Getting strong the right way means getting rid of the crystal before you lose yourself to it!"

The redhead suddenly slinked back, clutching the crystal and glaring at Donnie with potent venom. "No! The crystal's MINE! I NEED it!"

"No, you don't, April!" Donnie retorted, hand extended as if to grab the object. "That's what addiction does! It makes want something that's actually hurting you!" For a moment, his expression softened, and he practically begged, "If you just let me, I can help you break from its hold on you. Just give it to me and we'll figure this out."

A part of April processed the information, and she honestly wanted to comply and hand over the crystal. She didn't like the anger and hatred coming out of her mouth. She didn't like mocking her friends or yelling at them for trivial things. She didn't like how the crystal made her head hurt. However…she didn't want to part with the power that saved her and them so many times. What right did Donnie have to say she was going to lose herself? And yet the way he begged…

 _'No! He just wants you to be weak! He wants to take your power for himself! He is wrong! Punish him!'_

"April, give me the crystal-"

Donnie suddenly stopped when his body seized. Looking down, he could see his feet quickly lifting off the ground-no, his whole body lifted off the ground and towards the sky. The others looked and, to their horror, saw April with her eyes glowing blue and her arm extended. Why was April using her powers to lift Donnie into the air? The sickly-blue glow of the crystal told them the source, but found themselves unable to intervene as fear literally froze them in place.

"April, let him go!" Leo shouted desperately.

"Please, April, put him down!" Mikey begged, his voice strangled by oncoming sobs.

Raph and Casey attempted to grab April from behind, but a psychic blast from her other hand pushed them away. She kept her laminated eyes glued to the struggling Donnie, lifting him higher and higher from the ground, her face contorted in hateful anger. Not even the panicked expression on the purple-clad turtle's face stopped her.

"A-April! April, stop!" Donnie pleaded as his voice grew hoarse from shouting. "Why are you doing this!? APRIL!"

 _'Punish him.'_

"Stay away from MY CRYSTAL!"

With Donnie hundreds of feet in the air, the angry April suddenly threw her arm down. Donnie suddenly spun on his back, screaming as his body rocketed towards the ground. The air whistled around him, fast enough to leave small cuts on his face and arms, and found himself praying to God that he would land on something soft. He could feel himself getting closer and closer to the concrete, and he squeezed his eyes shut as a single thought crossed his mind.

 _'I'm sorry, April. I tried…'_

Leo, Raph, Mikey, and Casey would never forget the nauseating cracking sound they heard the moment Donnie made contact with the pavement. April remained emotionless, even as the glow from her eyes faded and her arm relaxed, and merely looked straight ahead. She didn't dare look at what she did. She acted as though she didn't hear the desperate cries of the others rushing to see Donnie's fate.

"DONNIE!"

She didn't look at the blood pooling underneath him.

* * *

 **Welp, I killed Donnie again. First in Turtle Dove, and now here. But is he really dead? Are you getting IDW 44 feels? Is April going to realize what she did? As always, you'll have to wait for the next chapter to find out.**

 **Be sure to turn in for this, the next chapter of Turtle Dove 2, and the conclusion of the 2012 Turtles meeting the 1987 Turtles! I also apologize for the Donnie torture, but sometimes you have to give your absolute favorite characters a hard time.**


	3. Collateral Damage

**Author's Note: Well, I'm back, and what better time to update than on my birthday? Had a little writer's block, but I finally got this chapter together the way I wanted it! Now we'll be finding out what's befallen our dear Donatello and if April's actually going to react! Please read and review!**

* * *

Chapter 3: Collateral Damage

"DONNIE!"

Fear, panic, confusion, and anger spread through the other turtles and Casey as they eyed Donatello's prone body on the pavement. The impact created a small crater around the turtle, but what alarmed them was the blood filling the crater. The four immediately rushed to find some chance he was alive, brushing past the eerily-stoic April and preparing themselves for the worst. Leo was the first to reach his brother, and the first to gently turn him and assess the damage. What he saw, however, made him recoil with a strangled gasp.

The central and lower parts of Donnie's shell literally caved in on itself. Blood clung to it, along with tissue and small pieces of shell, and red continued to flow freely from the injury. Raphael held Donnie in time for Leo to turn around and vomit on the surrounding pavement. Michelangelo took one look at the injury and went rigid, fearful tears streaming down his cheeks. Casey eyed the injury with horror before glancing back at April. He hoped that she realized what she did and would be frantically checking Donnie, too.

She stood where she was and stayed rigid, and her hand once again snaked itself around the crystal.

"R-Red…" Casey sputtered out of fear, but adrenaline rushed through his system and transformed it into anger. "What th' hell did you do!? You killed 'im!"

Raph stared at the injury more, but joined Casey in allowing anger to consume him as he turned to the redhead. "Y-You…you killed my brother! You killed Donnie, you…"

To their horror, April only scoffed and replied, "He's fine. He's just pretending so he won't have to face me." She took only a few steps forward and snidely commanded, "Get up, Donnie!"

Donnie remained motionless, eyes and mouth slightly open and staring emptily at the night sky. April grew frustrated and commanded once again, "I said GET UP, Donnie!"

No answer. "Get UP!"

Once again, no answer. April's lip quivered and hot tears flowed down her cheeks. Her raging expression slowly morphed into grief and helplessness. "GET UP!"

Donnie remained still. April let go of the crystal and crumpled in an instant, the angry mask melting away and utter remorse took its place. Was this what she wanted? No, she just wanted him to back off from the crystal. She didn't want to kill him…right? But Donnie's motionless husk screamed at her of the crime she committed. Donnie only told her the truth, and she killed him for it. She _murdered_ him in cold blood. She murdered her best friend in a fit of psychic rage. Cracked him open like an egg dropped onto the pavement.

What had she done?

"G-Get up…g-get up…" April sobbed pitifully, pushing herself off the ground and dashed to her fallen friend. With a choked sob, she cried out once again, "Donnie-"

She was about to reach out to touch Donnie's shoulder when the pointed end of a sai stopped her in her tracks. Her eyes locked with Raphael's, and what she could see in a split-second turned her blood to ice. Tears flooded from the hothead's green eyes, but they magnified the rage, grief and fear in them to spine-chilling levels. Raph never looked at her like that before. That was a look he saved for their worst enemies.

"Stay away from my brother!"

The growl in his voice frightened April, and she immediately jumped back. Anger momentarily flared up inside her; how dare Raph deny her the right to at least check Donnie. But considering SHE did this, she couldn't blame him. She only stood back as more tears flowed down her cheeks, praying for some sort of miracle.

"D-Donnie…n-no…" Mikey sobbed into his brother's limp arm, hoping his tears would bring him back as they did in movies. "D…B-B-team's not complete without you, bro! D-Donnie…"

Leo's entire body trembled, his face filled with horror and a shaky hand cupping his limp brother's cheek. Donnie's skin felt cold, and no could've predicted the blood-curdling scream that came out of their leader's throat. Leo kept screaming until his throat went raw, then hoarse sobs rattled out of his mouth. Why did this have to happen? Why didn't he make April stay off patrol in the first place? Why didn't he exercise his authority and tell her to get rid of that crystal? Why didn't he care enough to begin with to keep this from happening? Why…why did he have to lose his younger brother?

Leo kept going over the whys, and unconsciously moved his hand to Donnie's neck and shoulder. Shoulders hunched over, he slowly turned his head to the petrified April and gritted out, "…Why…w-what did Donnie ever do to you?"

"Leo…" April made herself step forward, holding out a feeble hand to her friends to show peace. She saw their faces-saw they didn't want it-and pulled it away. "I-I didn't mean-"

"Yes. You. Did." The accusation was simple, but powerful. Leo watched April suddenly shrivel at those three words, but he really didn't pay heed to how she felt. She wasn't the one dead here. "H-He just wanted to help you, and you-"

The leader in blue suddenly froze when he felt something. His hand remained on Donnie, his fingers absentmindedly pressed into the skin of his neck when he could feel it. It was faint, but the mere presence of it made his heart race and a torrent of relief wash over him.

"G-Guys…h-he has a pulse." Leo choked out. "H-He's got a faint pulse!"

Raph wasted no time in grabbing Casey by the shoulders and commanding, "Call Splinter! Call the Mutanimals! Call them NOW! We gotta get 'im moved without hurtin' 'im more!"

Mikey remained in a state of panic, and not even the news that Donnie was alive could shake him out of it. Mentally, he prepared himself for that small flame of hope to be snuffed out, and he kept a list of questions in his head, one topping the list. Why would April do this to him? "Is he gonna need a blood tra-trash-"

"Transfusion." Leo corrected. "Yeah, he'll need a transfusion; more than one, probably." Leo quickly regained his calm and began the slow process of securing Donnie and preventing more blood loss. He saw Casey on the phone and could hear him talking to Slash, cutting in, "Tell him to bring a van and sterile sheets!"

"Casey…t-tell them to put D on ice, too…" Mikey croaked out as his body kept shaking, only steadied by an equally-apprehensive Raph. "He…he always told me cold slows down metabolism. M-Maybe it'll help him…"

Leo gave a confirming nod. "Good idea, Mikey."

April kept standing by as this happened, but the news that Donnie actually survived, albeit barely, made her both absolutely relieved and utterly terrified. He was still alive, but would he wake up? Would he still be able to function with a broken shell? Would he be crippled the rest of his life? She had to do something, anything, to help him. But when she reached her hand out once again…

"No, April." Leo commanded, bitter cold in his tone and eyes just as icy. "You've done enough. You should go home."

April weakly shook her head, insisting, "Leo, let me fix this, please! I did this, so I should-"

"Just GO, April!

The three same words Donnie shouted at her a few nights before…and now Leo spoke them in equal rage. This time, though, April feared those would be the last words spoken to her by any of them. If Donnie didn't recover, then her time with them would be over. All because of-

"April…just…go." Leo hesitated with each word, but repeated his command to the stunned redhead, hoping it would bring light the severity of the situation. "Just don't come to the lair for a while…not until he wakes up." Dark blue eyes darted to the side followed with a faint, "…IF he wakes up…"

April only stood aside, and the others grew justifiably angry; her remaining showed them defiance. Perhaps April was just too stunned to move, they didn't know and they didn't care. April suddenly opened her mouth and reached her hand out to Casey, hoping the only other human in the group would offer her sympathy and answers. Instead…Casey flinched and backed away just at the sight of her. Or was it actually the crystal he backed away from? But seeing even Casey expressing fear of her proved to be the last straw, and she suddenly turned to run home.

No sooner than April disappeared did the Mutanimals appear with an unmarked white van. The back doors burst open to reveal Slash and Mondo Gecko, armed with the requested supplies to transport Donatello. The two Mutanimals looked upon the fallen turtle and gasped at the sight; even the unshakable Slash looked as though he just witnessed the worst murder take place.

"Y-You weren't kidding…" The giant mutant swallowed in shock. " _April_ did this!?"

Leo nodded bitterly. "She did. Come on, we need to get him stabilized ASAP. Just don't hurt his shell!"

While Slash and Mondo carefully picked up the barely-alive Donatello and loaded him into the van, the others could see the large pool of blood, broken pieces of shell, and even bits of skin and muscle that concealed the extent of his injuries. But they couldn't just stand around and stare at it; they had to focus on making sure Donnie survived the trip back to the lair. Once Donnie was loaded in, Slash and Mondo made room for the others. Mikey, however…

"…Is she gonna be okay?" Mikey stared into the direction April ran when he asked the question.

Raph gritted his teeth and pulled his youngest brother into the van. "Mikey, you gotta be kidding me…"

* * *

The door to April's bedroom burst open with a loud bang. April herself rushed into the room and threw herself onto the bed with a wail. This would be a moment where her father would come in and ask what was wrong, perhaps comfort her. Kirby had to be out of town for work, so it left April by herself and without a source of comfort. The only companion she had by her side was the ever-present, eerily-glowing crystal. April honestly sought relief from its power, but also cursed it for being the root cause of what happened. The very thing that gave her the power to save her friends nearly destroyed one of them.

"W-Why?" April sniveled into her pillow. "W-Why did I do that to Donnie!?"

 _'You only lost your temper. It's not your fault he pushed your buttons. You only reacted as if you were in danger.'_

April shook her head. "I wasn't in danger! He was just trying to make me lay off the crystal, and…and…"

 _'Hush now. He doesn't understand it's power. What right did he have to try and take it? It's yours and yours alone!'_

April gritted her teeth, "But the crystal isn't worth Donnie's life! I almost KILLED him!"

The atmosphere remained quiet, but only for a short while. Soon, thoughts invaded April's mind once again.

 _'…The crystal will be his only hope. Listen to me, and I will ensure you can save him. He can have his life back, and you can keep the crystal. Never stop relying on it; it's your only hope of saving him.'_

"Then…I have to let everyone know I CAN fix this-"

 _'NO! They don't trust you now. They'll simply try to take it from you by force and destroy it. Besides, they pushed you as well. They pushed you into hurting Donnie…so it's not really your fault. They should've just kept their mouths shut and left you alone.'_

April kept her head buried into her tear-stained pillow…and her hand once again snaked around the crystal.

* * *

Splinter didn't know what to feel as of this moment. It wasn't long ago that he had the heart-to-heart with Donatello over April's behavior. He remembered how much he emphasized to his son to be careful...and now he felt those words were a harbinger of doom. Everything happened so quickly. His other sons and the Mutanimals rushing Donatello into the lab while Casey explained the situation to him. The utter shock knowing that April was capable of doing the damage she did. The regrets he had for not putting his foot down with the now-kunoichi; his surrogate daughter. The fear of the unknown...whether Donatello would ever recover, physically and mentally. The many questions he had in his mind.

When April first presented this alien stone to him, he didn't feel the darkness in it that he did now. That darkness began holding an iron grip around her soul, strengthening with April's humiliation at Shinigami and Karai's hands. He knew his daughter and her friend regretted their actions and expressed apologies, but it seemed April couldn't let it go, despite what she spoke. The darkness grew afterwards, and now it seemed it reached its peak with attempting to kill Donatello. Did April intend to kill him, or did her temper cloud her mind once again and result in a tragic accident? Nevertheless, they could all agree that April needed dealing with, lest she target another one of them.

Now, Splinter had to watch as Leonardo and Michelangelo offered blood for their brother, as they were compatible with him. Raphael stood on the sidelines, muttering curses and regrets, and Splinter figured that it took everything in his son not to confront April now. But bringing harm to her would not be becoming of them, nor would it heal Donatello. They just had to pray that Donatello would wake up, then they would focus on speaking with April. Splinter quietly prayed to any god listening for his son to recover. To be whole...not to be lying on a bed having multiple transfusions. Not to be crudely put back together with industrial glue. Not to be on the brink of death.

He already lost his wife...he couldn't afford to lose a son, too.

* * *

 **And there we have it. So Donnie's alive, but barely, and April's still finding it hard to let go of the crystal thanks to a certain someone's crafty words. Now the question will be whether Donnie wakes up, and whether April will be allowed back at the lair. I will say, though, that Splinter's the first one to have some choice words with her. And we'll get to see the reactions of two people in particular. Well, be sure to stay tuned for the next chapter!**


	4. What We Could've Done Different

**Author's Note: I wish I had a solution for bouts of writer's block, but I managed to crank this neat chapter out! So we're seeing how everyone's dealing with what happened to Donnie, and Splinter decides to be the first to confront April over what she did and why. So we'll be getting some insight into what drove April to hurt Donnie, and the mysterious voice in her thoughts growing more and more threatening. Anyway, read and review!**

* * *

Chapter 4: What We Could've Done Different

Leonardo sat uncomfortably on a rolling stool and stared down at his bedridden brother. After painstaking hours of work, which included using heavy amounts of epoxy glue and prosthetic pieces and blood from himself and Michelangelo, Donatello's condition became stabilized. Whether or not he would wake up was left in the air, and it had everyone anxious. The only sounds that told them his body remained alive were the heart monitor and breathing apparatus.

The leader in blue sat with tightened fists resting in his lap, the skin of his knuckles turning a very pale green. In his time as leader of this team, he had a few slip-ups that resulted in his brothers sustaining injury. Often, they would get back up and he would learn to be more careful. This time…this had to be his biggest failure left. Not even the chemical factory explosion could top _this_. At least then, they knew Donnie came back. Now, they didn't even know if Donnie would survive having his shell caved in. Even if he did, would he be stuck in a wheelchair or a bed the rest of his life?

 _I should've kept her off patrol._

Leo's head flooded with regrets. Donnie was the first to notice April's declining stability, and he ended up being the only one caring enough to try and fix it. He and the others, as much as he didn't want to admit it, ignored the problem and hoped it would go away. But it wouldn't go away as long as April held on to the crystal. Leo admitted to himself that he thought Donnie overreacted to April's behavior, until he himself got a taste of it. April shot at him over that crystal, after all. She shoved Mikey to the ground and said horrible things to all of them. And then…

Leo shuddered and put his hand to Donnie's clammy forehead. The turtle laying in the bed wasn't the Donatello they knew. Their Donatello would be up and about, talking about his latest inventions and telling Mikey not to touch them. He would be training with them, formulating plans to take down Shredder, cooking up retromutagen before joining them for pizza. He wouldn't be pale and broken, or have a mangled shell, or be kept alive with machines. He wouldn't be laying here like some corpse…

Sniffling from outside caught Leo's attention. With one last look at Donnie, he got up and exited the lab to find Mikey in the pit. Instead of watching TV or digging into a pizza with Ice Cream Kitty or cracking jokes, the youngest turtle sat hunched over, hugging himself as tears fell down. A quick look around told Leo Raph was probably in his room, leaving no one to comfort Mikey. Well, besides him on occasion…that was what Donnie often did. Leo swallowed back his own tears and took a seat next to his sobbing brother.

"Mikey…" Leo pulled his brother closer and wrapped him in a one-armed hug, rubbing his shoulder in a comforting manner. "Mikey, don't cry. Donnie'll recover…"

Mikey, however, shook his head in disagreement. Leo was shocked when his baby brother pulled away from his comfort. Mikey always gravitated towards comfort, but perhaps he just preferred Donnie's comfort.

"…I-It's all my fault, Leo."

Leo turned to Mikey in shock, asking, "What're you talking about?"

Mikey feverishly wiped at his eyes with his knuckles, letting out a series of sniffles and a few hiccups. "D-Donnie's hurt…b-because of me! I-If I hadn't…hadn't stolen April's crystal…s-she wouldn't be mad, a-and she wouldn't have…"

It hurt Leo that Mikey cried over Donnie, but it hurt even more to hear Mikey blame himself for the incident. They already admonished him for stealing it to satiate his curiosity, but not even he could've predicted April's out-of-character reactions to it. He couldn't have known she'd go over the edge; none of them did. Mikey didn't need to blame himself for something he could've never predicted.

"Mikey…I know you shouldn't have stolen the crystal from April." Leo began. Mikey sunk further into his seat, but Leo made sure to add, "But what happened to Donnie isn't your fault. You didn't know this would happen, and…April was the one who chose to take it too far."

"B-But…but she still got mad because of what I did!" Mikey argued, his voice broken and hoarse from crying. "She didn't get over it, a-and she took it out on D-Donnie! She should've-"

"No. Don't even suggest that you should've taken Donnie's place. You shouldn't wish for that, Mikey." Leo grabbed his baby brother by the shoulders and looked into his tear-flooded eyes, still fighting back his own tears. "We wouldn't want that for either of you. Donnie needs all of us to help him now."

The youngest turtle darted his eyes towards the lair exit. "E-Even April?"

Mikey noticed Leo visibly tense up at the mention of their friend; the person who attempted to kill their brother. He could understand why Leo and Raph were angry with her. Heck, he'd be wrong if he said he wasn't angry with her. But he didn't believe April was unrepentant about it from the way she broke down. He knew by the look on her face that she regretted what she did…but he couldn't shake the look on her face when she lifted Donnie up. If it came down to it, though, he would forgive her. Leo and Raph, though…

"Mikey…that's-"

"Don't even bring her up."

The two turtles saw Raph enter the pit, looking angrier at the mention of April. Of course, they both knew his anger hadn't cooled by the animalistic shouts coming from his room. His bruised and cut knuckles could only mean he took his rage out on either a training dummy or the wall. Of course, how else could he feel after knowing the first human they trusted just tried to off their brother? How would anyone else feel after seeing inexperienced people attempt to patch Donnie back together?

"Raph, don't let this get to you." Leo admonished. "Getting angry isn't going to wake Donnie up…"

"Oh, so I'm supposed to forget what April did to him?" Raph asked bitterly as he broke out into a sarcastic chuckle. "Leo, she tried to _murder_ our brother! She showed she cares more about that crystal than any of us! You know what? Maybe I ought to throw her off a high place and see if she survives!"

Mikey shook his head and argued, "No, Raph! That's not gonna solve anything! Doing that to April's not what Donnie would want!"

"How would YOU know what Donnie wants!?" Raph shot back as his fist slowly pulled back and aimed for Mikey's face. "None of this would've happened if you hadn't-"

Raph suddenly stopped the moment he saw Mikey wither. Unlike Leo, Raph was only confirming his guilt, and about to blame him for Donnie's injuries. He was just angry, and he always said things he regretted when he got angry. To hear himself about to tell Mikey that it was his fault April went over the edge broke something inside of Raph, and he just leaned forward and wrapped his flinching brother in a bear hug. They needed comfort right now, and even Raph was willing to let it out if it meant coming to terms to Donnie possibly…leaving them.

"…I'm so sorry, Mikey…" Raph rested his chin on top of his brother's head and just held him close, feeling him sob into his shoulder. "I'm just worried that Donnie's not gonna make it…"

"B-But he's gotta make it! He's gotta make it so…s-so he can ask her why she did what she did!" Mikey muffled in protest from Raph's shoulder. "I wanna know why she did it, too!"

Raph immediately tensed up. Why did Mikey have to be so forgiving? Didn't he understand the gravity of the situation, or the betrayal of April doing this to Donnie? Donnie loved her, did everything he could to give her the sense of normalcy she needed, and she pays him back by attempting to off him. Was April telling them how little Donnie mattered? Did Mikey even get that?

"…She doesn't need to come around again." The temperamental turtle ground out. "And if Donnie dies…she's mine."

Leo didn't like Raph insinuating he would hurt April if, and only if, Donnie passed away. True, he could understand the anger behind it, but hurting April wouldn't make things better. But he could agree that as long as Donnie remained in the woods, she didn't need to come to the lair and add stress. In case a confrontation happened, they didn't want to share Donnie's fate, even if she did regret it. Though he had to admit he didn't know whether or not he should hate her or forgive her. Who could get over their best friend attempting to kill them?

"How's Casey holding up?" Leo asked out-of-the-blue.

Raph narrowed his eyes and huffed a sigh. "Still in the dojo…hasn't said anything at all. He doesn't want to believe it happened. Guy's probably torn, too…"

"I don't blame him…"

Of course, they had to consider how Casey felt about this, too. If this didn't traumatize him or make him fear April, nothing would. But they could remember how he looked as they transported Donnie and worked to save him. Casey feared very little, and the guy shook the entire time. He looked as though he just witnessed a genocide happening. Seeing the person he considered a true friend attempting to kill another true friend hurt deep, and he didn't know if he could be around her again. At the same time, he was probably the first human friend April ever had not counting the fake Irma, and he probably wanted to go and comfort her.

While the three brothers mulled over what happened, Splinter somberly fixed a kettle of tea, silently listening to their conversation. Splinter never thought he'd see the day that one of his sons would be treading between life and death. He heard of what happened to Leonardo during the Kraang invasion and his three-month coma; how the possibility that he would die hung over them like a storm cloud. But he didn't witness Leo's broken body. He witnessed Donatello's broken body, and the impact stuck with him.

As with Tang Shen's death, it hurt him the most that the man he considered his brother was the one to kill her. Now, he felt that hurt again with his son…because the girl he considered his surrogate daughter did this. He had warned April that the crystal affected her way of thinking; that she relied on it to prop her up instead of putting in the effort herself. But to think it would poison her mind and spirit this much to where she would hurt Donatello…

Splinter frowned and breathed harshly out of his nose. No matter what his sons felt about it…he needed to get answers from April.

* * *

The air and quiet up above felt better than the smoke and car horns down below. It didn't bring April complete comfort, but gave her enough to make her head be quiet for once. The pain of being alone remained, and she just wanted to know if Donnie made it. Knowing what happened, however, she didn't know when she could come back or if she could come back. If she was never allowed back, she wouldn't fault the others for it. Still…she at least wanted to know Donnie's condition.

When her dad called, she tearfully recounted what happened, and he promised to hurry home immediately. So far, he hadn't arrived yet, but it was probably better that he wasn't alone with her. If she could do that to Donnie, who was to say she wouldn't do it to him, too? Just thinking of her dad made the thoughts come back; thoughts that he was always terrified of her for being half-Kraang. Did everyone feel this way about her? Was that why they were wary of her use of the crystal? Is that why she was convinced they didn't want her growing powerful?

"April."

April jumped at the voice. For a second, she thought it was her father. But the voice was too deep, and she knew better who it was. One of the voices she thought she'd never hear from again; a voice she hadn't heard for five days. She turned and saw Splinter standing next to the air-conditioning unit, and her heart raced in both joy and terror.

"S-Splinter…"

Splinter showed no emotion to April's shaky greeting. The father in him wanted to just grab her and wrap her in his arms while scolding her. But he had to be the sensei right now. Whether April wanted it or not, he would be asking hard questions and getting to the bottom of this. He couldn't allow his grief to show, nor could he allow anger to cloud his judgment. He knew well what happened when anger consumed the mind…

"Have you informed your father of what happened?" He asked, tone to the point.

April's only response was a stiff nod. She wanted desperately to guide her eyes back to the ground, but they remained glued to Splinter's form. Perhaps she feared if she looked away, she'd never see him again. She hardly had time to hang around her own father anymore, and losing her surrogate father would crush her. She wanted to open her mouth and pour out her emotions, but the tone in Splinter's question told her he wasn't here for mere chatting.

"I would remain seated." The rat stated. "We have much to talk about."

April obeyed Splinter's command without hesitation, shifting her legs so they would match his kneeling posture. Her thoughts quieted down for now, and she focused on what he had to say to her. She also dreaded what Splinter would possibly say. Did Donnie die? Did he want her to revoke her kunoichi status? Would he also bring up the crystal? No matter what scenario she speculated, none of them brought ease.

"…How's Donnie?" She asked timidly.

Splinter immediately closed his eyes, and April's heart raced in dread. The rat finally answered after a tense moment, "He is in stable condition…but he is not out of danger yet. His shell received crude repairs from the Mutanimals. Leonardo and Michelangelo gave some of their blood to him as well."

The redhead sighed deeply and felt her body shaking slightly. She saw Donnie bleed, but never fathomed he lost that much blood. And if the repairs to his shell were crude as Splinter said, then that gave a greater chance of permanent nerve damage. Donnie could end up wheelchair-bound the rest of his life, and all because of her. Who could possibly forgive that? Even Donnie, the one easiest to forgive her besides Mikey, would probably hold a grudge if he ended up paralyzed.

"I need to see him." April spoke, though her tone hid how much she begged more than stated. "Please, Master Splinter…I need to see him."

To her disappointment, Splinter solemnly shook his head. "That would not be wise, April. I know you wish to see him and speak apologies, but he does not need added stress. There is a chance that if he awakens and sees you, he could react violently. That…" He bowed his head, blowing a forceful breath out of his snout, adding, "That, and his brothers are not exactly ready to have you come back."

Despite April's crushed expression, Splinter couldn't let up now. April needed to hear harsh truths, and he wouldn't stop there. If she truly expressed remorse for this, she needed to understand both what happened and the driving forces behind it. He had his suspicions, but he wanted to hear them out of her own mouth. That meant risking igniting her anger and the power of the crystal. "But that aside, we must get to the matter at hand. April, please explain to me what caused you to harm Donatello in such a way."

April couldn't help but tighten her fists at the request-no, the order. It wasn't from Splinter's cold tone, but from having to replay the events in her mind. How she lifted Donnie far into the air, how she screamed at him, how she shot him down…and the cracking sound she heard. She didn't want to relive that, but if it meant earning Splinter's trust back, perhaps she would go through with it. For Donnie, right?

"The guys probably told you enough. Donnie wanted me to take off the crystal, and…he called me out for how I've been acting. I just lost it. Something inside me just kept telling me to get him away from me. I just never thought it'd go this far…" April recounted, remorse in her voice. "We were both angry, but he was just trying to help me…"

Splinter wanted to praise April for admitting what she did, but he didn't feel satisfied. Indeed, she admitted to what she did and that she did it out of anger, but she didn't tell him why exactly she relied so heavily on the crystal in the first place. The object just being 'really important' wasn't a good enough answer. He wanted to know why a mere alien object would push April to harm one of his sons. There were suspicions, but April would have to confirm them herself.

"So what you are saying is…the crystal mattered more than Donatello in that moment." He spoke the statement to get a rise out of her; to test her remorse. Her shocked expression told him she didn't expect it, but she didn't deny the statement. Time to keep going. "In fact, you have been placing priority to the point of obsession on this alien crystal. Yet before, you did not rely on it's power, but your own strength. What changed?"

"I-I…" April hesitated. "I-I don't-"

"You do know, April. Something inside you allowed you to become addicted to his object." Splinter countered with narrowed eyes. "Why is your own strength not enough? Why become so obsessed with obtaining power through convenient means?"

April gritted her teeth and murmured, "Master Splinter, please…"

Splinter raised his voice, "Why did you risk my son's life for this object-"

"I just wanted to prove I was better than them!"

Her eyes now flashed wildly, and her hands were in such tight fists they started shaking. Not even her sudden outburst managed to shake Splinter; he remained stoic, yet firm. While she didn't clarify the meaning of the statement, he knew there were two choices for the identity of 'them'. He could voice it himself, but he still wanted to the hear the words come out of April's mouth. He still deeply loved her as a daughter, but he couldn't do everything for her. She had to be the one to answer the tough questions, even if it took voicing ugly secrets.

With eyes closing and opening, he asked, "And whom are you referring to, April?"

April suddenly shrunk back in humiliation, and she murmured, "…Karai and Shinigami."

Splinter narrowed his eyes and frowned. Just as he thought. The root of this problem stemmed from April's first night as a kunoichi. The night Karai and this Shinigami girl belittled her for having the title; calling her unworthy to have it. The night, according to Donatello, when April readied herself to literally stab Shinigami in the back. The two made apologies for their antagonistic behavior, but that didn't mean April truthfully accepted it. If there was one thing Splinter learned about April, it was that she let too many things fester inside. Now came a strong dose of tough love. April needed to understand why a petty grudge should never be allowed to grow.

"So…you abused the power of the crystal so you could gloat." Splinter began, tone hardened towards the cringing redhead. "Your harm towards Donatello stemmed from a cat fight, and so you allowed yourself to be corrupted with power. You have let your doubts and wounded pride poison you and the crystal."

April blinked, finding herself slightly offended by Splinter's words. "Me? Poison the crystal? No offense, but the Aeons are the picture of purity. The crystal's no exception!"

"And yet they were not immune to corruption." Splinter shot back. Seeing April shrink again told him he struck where it hurt. As much as it pained him, she needed to keep hurting so she could at least understand the gravity of what she did. "April, I taught you the art of ninjitsu as a means of survival, not as a means to pick pointless fights and earn bragging rights. I know you are spiritually wounded from your scuffle with Shinigami, but she and Miwa have one advantage over you: experience. Instead of humbly accepting defeat against a stronger opponent and learning from it, you have allowed your anger to fester…and you took it out on Donatello."

April bowed her head, lips quivering as Splinter's words sank in. As much as she hated to admit it, she did still feel bitter about Shinigami trouncing her; still felt bitter over the way she and Karai mocked her. She knew that she didn't accept their apologies deep down, but played it off on the outside. She wanted to show them so badly that she was capable that she would do anything, and anything included amplifying her psychic powers. She wanted to show them, the guys, even Splinter, that she earned the title. She wanted to show them not to mess with her. As a result, she released all her pent-up rage on Donnie when he just wanted to help her. In her own anger and nonstop thoughts, she attempted to kill the one person desperate to help her.

"…I'm sorry, Splinter." April sniffled as she kept her head bowed. Tear drops hit her hands from above, as all attempts to fight her emotions back failed horribly. "I-I just…I just wanted so bad to-to prove to everyone…that I'm as capable as them. B-But I've just been a mean person…because I couldn't a-admit I lost. And now…Donnie-"

April suddenly broke down in sobs. Splinter breathed out, his hardened expression turning to pity. He once again wanted to just lunge forward and wrap April in his arms. However, he already did what he came to do. He feared that if he stayed too long, too many emotions would be released, both good and bad. Once she earned back their-his-trust, then they could focus on healing. Until then…

"…When the time is right, you may come see him. I won't let the others stop you, but you will not come until I say so, April." Getting up, the rat walked away and calmly turned his head. "…Get some rest. You still have much to think about, my child."

April watched in sorrow as Splinter headed back to the lair, feeling all alone again. Splinter was often someone hard to read, yet she could feel the emotions swirling around inside him. The father in him wanting to comfort her, the anger and desire to yell at her for what she did, the sorrow and fear for Donnie. She had to earn back their trust, but how could she after what she did? Out of anger or not, instead of channeling her energy positively, she hurt the one person who wanted to break her of her addiction. How could anyone even begin to forgive her?

 _'Are you going to just sit there and let that old rat patronize you once again? Go and show him that he's wrong! You're better than them all, even him! Don't let him patronize you again!'_

 _'No…he told me the truth. I got mad over something stupid and took it out on Donnie in the worst way. How is that patronizing?'_

 _'They all hold you back. Don't let yourself wallow in grief over them. Work to put yourself where you were always meant to be…you're of the stars, April. Donatello will thank you later.'_

For the first time since that night after Xaava-Daal, April started doubting the thoughts.

* * *

 **So the truth comes out. Trust me, we'll be getting Karai and Shinigami's reactions, too. The next chapter will also bring light to the big question: is Donnie going to wake up? If he does, how will he react to April? And will April start losing faith in the malicious entity in her thoughts? Stay tuned for that, more Turtle Dove stuff, and a one-shot set after "The Croaking"!**


	5. Blame

**Author's Note: Don't think I've forgotten about this juicy story! I would've had it done sooner, but then these things called Digimon World: Next Order and Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth happened. But I'm back with this new chapter! Now we'll get to see Karai and Shinigami's reactions to what happened, and whether or not Donnie's going to wake up. A lot of angst in this chapter, but hopefully you'll get through with just a few tears. Well, be sure to read and review!**

* * *

Chapter 5: Blame

Mikey quietly wrung out the wet rag and applied it to Donnie's cold skin. Leo and Raph were in such a hurry to get Donnie hooked up to these machines that they didn't have time to wash all the blood off. He quietly ran the cloth down his brother's arm, cleaning the dried blood away, and kept his eyes trained on the mask over Donnie's face. Every few seconds, the face mask would fog up from Donnie's shallow breaths; it was a miracle he didn't have to be on a ventilator. That had to mean he would wake up, right?

Despite all his wishes and the many times Leo and Raph talked to him, Mikey still felt this was all his fault.

After seeing the ethereal mass coming from the crystal, untamed curiosity consumed his mind. If something in-fact lived inside the crystal, why not see if it could bring life to something? That was when he swiped the crystal from a sleeping Donatello and took it to Casey, leading up to Wingnut and Screwloose coming to life. But he should've known how dangerous the crystal was when the two heroes went berserk in its presence. No…he should've hidden it after April acted possessed over it. He should've asked Donnie if there was a way to destroy it. Now because he couldn't keep his hands to himself, Donnie had to lay here between life and death.

It wasn't the first time his actions caused someone to be hurt. He ran away over messing up April's farmhouse, and running his mouth caused the Punk Frogs to attack his friends and family. He carelessly played around in Donnie's lab and caused that brain serum to literally dumb him down, and brought the Creep back to life. But this…this was the icing on the cake.

"Mikey."

Mikey turned and saw Leo at the lab doors. Only two days since this happened, and Leo already looked like he aged twenty years. Leo must've felt as guilty as he did…but he shouldn't be blaming himself. He only did what he knew to do; he didn't know about the crystal as much as Donnie did. Leo already blamed himself for enough things…he just needed to let someone else take the blame for a change. Mikey would happily volunteer if it meant Donnie could wake up and Leo could actually smile.

"…He looks cleaner now, bro." Mikey mumbled. "I got the rest of the blood off…"

Leo sighed at Mikey. He didn't like this change; he missed the goofy smiles and dumb pranks that came from his youngest brother. He didn't like him acting as though they were ready to bury Donnie. He knew Mikey still shouldered guilt for what happened, but it wasn't like Mikey told April to throw Donnie. All of this was on April's shoulders, and he needed Mikey to understand that.

"Mikey, anything could've triggered April's change in behavior." Leo began, slowly approaching the freckled turtle and extending a comforting hand out. "She was already acting like that before you took the crystal…it's not your fault."

Mikey dully shook his head and tossed the rag back into the bowl of water. "…But I made it worse, Leo. I made her get worse. It's all my fault, and you know it…"

"Mikey…"

Leo attempted to go over and give his baby brother some sense of comfort; some words of reassurance that this wasn't his fault. He wasn't the one that hurt Donnie, and they didn't have the power to stop April when she did what she did. However…with everything that led up to it, they all could've stepped in sooner and not left it all on Donnie's shoulders. They were guilty of believing that if they ignored the problem, it would go away…but it wouldn't.

"Leo!"

The leader in blue stopped short of touching Mikey when he heard the voice and footsteps approach the lab doors. When he turned to look, he saw the familiar and panic-stricken faces of Karai and Shinigami. They were informed of what happened right after they stabilized Donnie's condition, but business tracking Shredder's activities left them unable to show up then. Well, all that mattered was that they were here now. Leo could see the panic in Karai grow when her brown eyes glided over to the comatose turtle.

"Is it really that severe?" Karai's tone was barely that of a whisper when she asked the question. "Is he-"

"His shell's all but shattered, but we managed to put most of it back together." Leo spoke, his tone almost monotone from fatigue. "Thanks for coming…"

While Shinigami continued to stare in silence, the rogue Foot leader stared at her adoptive brother hooked to machines and felt her mind racing. This was worse than when Auman Chemicals blew up; Donnie had a better chance back then of surviving. Donnie looking this broken made any hope of full recovery falter, however. In all the times she wanted to hurt them in the past, before she knew of her true origins, she never would've hurt them like this. What made it worse was that Donnie had to be put in this state by the one person he trusted probably more than his own flesh and blood. Being betrayed by everyone when they decided to assassinate her former father paled in comparison to this kind of betrayal.

"…Why would April do this?"

Karai's question made Leo's shoulders defensively hunch up. As long as Donnie remained in this condition, the mention of April still had them on-edge. Any mention of her usually brought silence amongst them, Mikey usually the one bringing her up. Raph would give an angry grunt and leave the room, Splinter would go to meditate, and Leo would just stare down into his tea and again contemplate how everything went wrong. Karai and Shinigami had the privilege of not having to witness the attack, but he couldn't be angry at them for it. They had nothing to do with it…

"She's gotten obsessed with that crystal." Leo began tersely. "She had a choice that moment, and she chose the crystal over Donnie. She punished him just for wanting to help her."

Karai swallowed a lump in her throat and kept her eyes glued to Donnie for a solid minute. She forced herself to look Leo in the eyes and state, "April couldn't seriously care that much about an alien rock! I know I've never been her best friend, but even I know she's stubborn about accepting help!" Karai suddenly crossed her arms and lowered her head, speaking lowly, "Then some crystal changes all that?"

Leo didn't know how to answer her. He himself didn't know the full extent as to why April did this. Whatever answer he could come with stopped short when Shinigami finally spoke.

"…It's because of us, isn't it?"

Karai looked flabbergasted by her friend's question. "What're you talking about, Shini?"

Shinigami took off her hat in respect for Donnie, placing it on the desk nearby and getting a closer look at his broken body. "I could feel a darkness wrapping around her after our fight. I could feel it oozing out of that mystical stone." She paused as she heard Raphael and Michelangelo entering the lab out of curiosity, perhaps having heard Karai's frantic denials. She didn't mind, as she felt they needed to hear it, too. "I know it sounds insane, but there is _something_ influencing April from that stone."

"Y-Yeah!" Mikey suddenly shouted. "W-When Donnie zapped it with his space staff, there was this glowing ball of light flying around, then it disappeared! That was what made Wingnut and Screwloose go crazy!"

Raph didn't buy it, and narrowed his eyes to show it. "So you're tryin' to say April's not at fault? You're sayin' the crystal's all to blame?"

"Not at all. If something's influencing her, she made the choice to buy into it. I'm just saying it was our fight that more than likely triggered it…" Shinigami insisted.

"Oh yeah, I remember now." Raph sneered, cracking his knuckles in an attempt to intimidate those around him. "You two wouldn't shut up about how she was just playing kunoichi and actin' all smug. Everybody knows Foot Queen doesn't like it when someone steals her spotlight with dear ol' Dad."

Karai's lips twisted into a frown at Raphael's harsh jab. "Hey, that's not true! She was the one who chose to take on someone out of her league! Leo says you're the one who always talked down to her! Maybe YOU pushed her over the edge!"

Raph gritted his teeth and growled out, "Say that again…I DARE you."

"Guys, that's enough!" Leo shouted with raised hands. "Stop fighting each other!"

Mikey suddenly muttered, "Says the guy who always told April 'ninjas only' like she never mattered."

It was loud enough for Leo to hear, and if steam could come out of his ears it would have. Despite wanting everyone to not turn on each other in this situation, even the great leader Leonardo wasn't immune to the growing anger. He turned to Mikey and spat, "Oh, don't you even start, Michelangelo! YOU were the one that sent her into a rage by stealing her crystal!"

The group sans Shinigami's arguing grew louder, even growing to the point of physical retaliation. The witch didn't know the full extent of what they did before her fight with April, but knew that the anger poisoning April began poisoning them. True, they weren't being influenced by some unknown force or by their own insecurities, but their own need to blame themselves did enough. Their lashing out at each other and passing around blame was just to cover how much they felt at fault. The only ones not here to share their sides of the story were April and Casey.

"ENOUGH!"

Splinter slamming his cane on the floor stopped Leo and Raph from ramming each other into Donnie's bed. They both realized this when they saw just how close they were to knocking their brother over, and quickly stepped away to give Donnie peace. Mikey and Karai shamefully stared up at their father with reddened faces as the others joined in to pitifully look at the rat. Splinter eyed them all with disappointment at their foolish behavior, but what upset him more was how much they threw around blame.

"Senseless fighting will impede Donatello's recovery." Splinter scolded coldly, watching their heads lower further in shame. "We must all be united in this time, for his sake. Passing around blame will not ease the situation."

"But Sensei-"

One cold glare snapped Raphael's jaw shut, and Splinter decided to go on with this important lesson. "Did any of you crush Donatello's shell? Did you force April to do it? Hold a weapon to her head until she obeyed?" Immediately, he saw them shake their heads, and continued, "No. While the factors listed may have contributed to the build-up, April was the one who let her insecurities consume her. April is the one who did this, not you."

Raph wasn't satisfied, so he dared to speak against his father once again. "How would you know about her insecurities? What're you talkin' about?"

Splinter closed his eyes and sighed heavily, "I went and spoke with April alone."

Before his temperamental son could fly into a rage over him having contact with April, Splinter raised a warning hand to silence his son. "I confronted her on what motivated her actions. She informed me of what led up to it…and the root cause is her desperation to prove her worthiness as a kunoichi. As I said, while there were insensitive remarks and harsh truths spoken to April, she allowed it to fester and manifest into anger and addiction."

They could agree on that. It wasn't the first time April took her anger out on anyone, but the last time only led her to severing ties with them for a month or so. April's anger almost made Raph look like a saint in comparison. But Splinter knew that April's power alone couldn't have done this to Donatello. "However…I agree with Shinigami that something is influencing April. April allowed herself to be consumed by her insecurities, but I can feel a darkness feeding these insecurities. A darkness within her heart…a darkness from the crystal…or both."

Leo looked bewildered, holding his chin in thought as Donnie always did. Sensei's words made sense, but also fed more into his own sense of guilt over the situation. Did his constant use of 'ninjas only' make April feel that inadequate? He always thought he said it to protect her and keep her out of dangerous situations, but he wasn't trying to make her feel like she wasn't part of the team. Of course, at that time, his sense of failure against Shredder and obsession with rescuing Karai didn't exactly make him think clearly. Perhaps he held a bit of resentment towards April because she constantly put herself in danger…

Raph didn't know what to think. Despite Splinter's words, he still saw this as all April's fault. She hurt Donnie, the person who supported her through all the hell she went through, because she got hungry for power and no longer cared about him. What hurt him most was that April's anger reflected his own anger. If attempting to pull Leo's leg out of his socket wasn't enough proof that his anger hurt his brothers, he didn't know what would. Unlike April, however, his intent was never to kill. Killing his brothers would make him no different from Shredder…and that night, April could've very well passed for Shredder's new kunoichi.

Mikey felt like the only one still hoping the best for April. If it turned out Donnie wouldn't survive, he would more than likely still forgive her. He wasn't the best at holding a grudge, especially towards someone who'd been their best friend since day one. But Donnie had to wake up…Donnie was the only one who could get April to break free. Maybe if he also spent time in talking with April and telling her to let the bitterness and anger go, she wouldn't have let the crystal have such a hold over her. But considering his antics, maybe he wasn't the best person for the job…

Karai just stood stewing in guilt, denial, and frustration. If anything, she was the one who spent the most time putting April down and felt she drove her to these extremes. Karai didn't want to admit that her belittling comments towards April all stemmed from jealousy. April was pretty much everything she could've been as Miwa. She was adored by everyone around her, had two guys going gaga over her, and Splinter agreed to train her-an outsider-as a kunoichi. She honestly felt that while she had to work her entire life to be recognized as a kunoichi, April had it handed to her. At the same time, April had to be jealous of her due to her power and experience. Maybe Karai was everything April wanted to be…or April was everything Karai wanted to be.

They could just imagine how Casey felt about this. Since Raph took him home that night, he hadn't called or texted them. That could only mean the incident shook him up that much. Perhaps he figured that if April could do that to Donnie, she could do it to him, too. While Donnie and Casey didn't always get along-the catalyst for that being April-they cared about and looked out for each other. Casey found a friend in Donnie; they shared interests he couldn't share with Raph. Then to see the girl they always fought over attempt to murder his so-called rival…why wouldn't Casey feel terrified? The poor guy probably blamed himself in some way, too.

But they all had to agree on one thing: April was the one who chose to hurt Donnie. Instead of talking out any insecurities, she allowed them to build up and allowed herself to lose control. As long as this was the case, she had to deal with her own problems first before attempting to patch things up with Donnie.

They all froze when they could hear the sound of a muffled cough. None of them made such a sound, and that's when they slowly turned towards the bed.

Leo was the first to dart to the bed and check over his brother. Did Donnie…no, maybe it was just the ventilator acting up. He readied his hand to pat the machine into perfect function when he heard the cough again. It wasn't the ventilator. When he looked down…

"…Donnie?"

The oxygen mask fogged up more than usual, and Donnie's mouth opened partially to reveal his teeth. Another cough, a small gasp for air, and eyes feebly opening to look up at the eldest brother. Donnie's brown eyes, glazed over and with little energy, gazed up at Leo with curious fatigue.

"…W-Who…who's…yelling?" Donnie asked hoarsely.

Leo didn't answer the question. His mouth simply fell open and tears cascaded down his cheeks, some landing on Donnie's face and pillow. A small smile graced Leo's lips as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He turned his head upward and saw the others staring expectantly at him. A shaky breath came out, and he spoke the words he hoped they would hear.

"H-He's awake."

* * *

 **Hallelujah, Donnie's awake! Since that's settled, next chapter will deal with the moment we've been waiting for: how Donnie will react when April comes to see him. As for the others, since Donnie's woken up, will they be willing to talk to April and get a few things settled? Or will these bridges remain burned? How will Casey react to seeing April again? Will April start rebelling against the voice or fall back under its sway? Well, you'll have to stay tuned to find out!**


	6. Repercussions

**Author's Note: Sorry for not updating for a while. I've had to deal with having my cat put to sleep after she'd been sick for a while, so writing went on the back-burner for the most part. I'm back, and with another update to this story! Now I promise I'll update my Turtle Dove stuff, and this story is already halfway through. After that, I'll be working on another story called "The Power Inside Him", and I'll give more details on that later! For now, let's see how Donnie handles seeing April after what happened! Read and review!**

* * *

Chapter 6: Repercussions

Donatello stared up at the hazy outlines of his siblings and father, but had trouble focusing due to all the bright lights. He didn't know why his mouth and nose felt so dry, but a curious hand discovered the oxygen mask. A turn of his head found the IV and monitors, and another turn found the tray of supplies and the bowl and rag. Obviously, someone in here was in critical condition, and that someone was him. As much as he wanted to ask, he also wanted the others to step back and give him time to process everything around him. The biggest thing he couldn't process was the question he thought they could answer.

"…W-What h-happened?" Donnie rasped out, surprised at how frail his voice sounded. A cough came out of his dry throat, causing him to eye the glass of water in Splinter's ready hand. "W-Water-"

Splinter hurried to his son's side and slid the oxygen mask off, placing the edge of the glass to Donnie's lips and tipping it upward. The turtle gratefully gulped the water down, and drowned out his father's requests to take just small sips. His throat was so dry, it literally hurt…and come to think of it, most of his body had a dull ache resonating through it. What happened to him to put him on an IV and oxygen mask and have everyone this worried? Did he just survive another attack from the Foot, or another building explosion?

"…Someone…s-someone tell me wh-what happened." Donnie begged in a clear voice, darting his eyes from person to person until he realized someone was missing. "D-Did Casey…go home already?"

The others stood in shocked silence. Donnie making mention of Casey was nothing unusual, but now they realized he didn't remember what happened to him or who the perpetrator was. Hearing him make no mention of April proved unsettling as well. Did he forget her, or just believe that she was somewhere in the lair? All of them feared that perhaps Donnie developed a degree of amnesia, and they worried he even forgot them as well. With a few seconds of thinking and a rough nudge from Raph, Leo decided to share a tidbit of what happened. But first…

"Donnie, what do you remember before you woke up?" Leo asked patiently.

With Leo taking a seat next to the bed, Donnie painfully closed his eyes and tried to remember what happened before he found himself like this. He could remember being lifted into the sky by something, and he could remember voices calling his name and begging someone to stop. He remembered the wind slicing through his skin and he could remember falling. Then the sound of something slamming to the ground, a cracking sound…then nothing. Now he was here, somehow unable to get up from the bed and wondering why he couldn't remember anything else.

"I was…I was lifted up, a-and then I fell." Donnie began with a moment of hesitation. "I-I could hear voices…calling my name. I-I heard a crack, a-and I f-felt pain…" Looking over at his brother, he finally asked, "…I-I'm hurt pretty bad, a-aren't I?"

A dead silence set in, and it only filled Donnie with more dread. A silence like that usually confirmed someone's worst fear. Then Leo finally gave him the answer.

"Donnie…that fall cracked your shell open." Leo cringed at the horror written on his brother's face. Part of him wanted to just fake a laugh and say 'just kidding', but doing that wouldn't heal his shell. Though he feared Donnie wasn't ready to hear who made him fall, he'd give him enough of what he needed for now. "We…we thought we lost you, but you pulled through. But…" Leo stalled after the 'but', though Donnie would demand he reveal the rest. He'd just save him the trouble of asking. "We don't know the extent of the damage. Rockwell's gonna examine you, but…Donnie, there's the possibility that you'll be paralyzed. If you're not, you'll have to go through a lot of therapy. You…won't be on the field for a while, bro."

Donnie no longer looked confused. Leo swore he felt his heart stop at the absolutely-broken look on his brother's face. Donnie himself fell into despair and fought not to lose it. He'd been injured multiple times in the lab and on the field, and he always came back bouncing. Now being told he could be permanently paralyzed shook his entire foundation. He couldn't stop the twin trails of tears flowing from his eyes, gazing up at the ceiling to avoid the concerns of everyone else. They still wouldn't tell him who put him in this state, but now he wished his assailant just put him out of his misery already.

Being dead was much better than being in pain and possibly paralyzed at this point.

Mikey was the first one to push past Leo and offer some comfort to his genius brother. With tears matching Donnie's, he simply lowered himself so their foreheads touched, which made Donnie's sobs louder. Leo followed next and simply held one of Donnie's trembling hands, but even that didn't stop their brother's sad moans; it actually made them worse. Raph only stood frozen when Karai stepped up and tried to calm Donnie down. While the others weren't paying him mind, he sent a text to Casey to share the news. Maybe Donnie's pseudo-rival would give him some sort of comfort. Whatever comfort they could offer, no matter how minimal, they would give it to him. He would need all the comfort and support he could get right now.

But there was still the elephant in the room: whether to inform April. When Master Splinter confessed to talking with April, he didn't mention if she was allowed to return. They just knew that she'd have a lot of work to do to earn his forgiveness once he learned she did this to him. For now, though, they'd have him rest and take the time to process his broken body.

"W-Who…w-who did this to me?" Donnie's voice remained sorrowful, but they could hear the anger buried underneath his question. He wanted someone to curse at, to hate for what they did to him, even through his sadness. "W-Who h-hurt me?"

Donnie deserved to know the truth if it meant starting the healing process…but revealing April's name to him would also bring even more heartbreak. If he remembered that April lifted him into the air and slammed him down, he ran the risk of never recovering physically or emotionally. Leo could bounce back after the times Karai betrayed him. Even when Raph faced betrayal from Mona Lisa, he came out of his stupor and fought back. Donnie was a different story, however. He barely bounced back when April abandoned them after Kirby's mutation…this could be something he could never bounce back from.

Thus, Leo decided to say, "We'll leave that for later, Donnie. Just rest now…you'll get your answers when the time's right."

Donnie wasn't satisfied with that answer, and he figured out right away the name of his attacker wouldn't sit well with him. Why did they have to think he was too fragile to hear the truth? Why couldn't they just give him the truth, no matter how painful it was? He wanted to demand Leo reveal a name, but exhaustion quickly stopped all thought processes and found himself closing his eyes. He prayed to whoever listened that they would tell him what they saw.

But there was one thing he didn't tell them. When he finally fell asleep, he could still feel the gaze of those hate-filled, ghostly-blue eyes…

* * *

Casey found himself on this third night of patrol and again found himself doing nothing. Unlike his usual self who craved the sound of his hockey stick connecting with a human skull, all desire to fight left him and remained absent. His dad and sister noticed how unusually quiet he became and constantly asked what happened, and he would only reply that a friend got hurt. That was all he needed to say. He didn't need to tell them his only human friend just tried to murder the guy he fought over her with.

He just found himself sitting on the rooftops and thinking of what he learned yesterday. Against all odds, Donnie woke up from his coma. However, he also learned no one would tell him April hurt him, and made him promise not to tell until he was ready to hear it. He could understand why they didn't want to tell Donnie, and he didn't want to shake the guy up anymore than he was. They even expressed worry that April was trying to pry information from him, but they didn't have to worry. If anything, he avoided April as much as he could since the incident happened. He could end up smashed into the pavement if he said the wrong thing…

He suddenly felt a presence behind him and went rigid. It could've been Raph giving him updates on Donnie, but the footsteps didn't match; he learned quickly how to identify his friends by their footsteps thanks to good ol' Splinter. He quickly turned his head to give a solemn 'yo' when he saw who it was. He immediately froze, feeling goosebumps spread on his arms and his heart pounding in his chest. His brain commanded his body to run, but his body wouldn't comply. He could only let his jaw hang slightly open and not utter a sound.

It was April. Then he could see it…she still had that crystal around her neck.

"Uh…hey, Casey." April was apprehensive in her greeting, but plastered on a good front to say otherwise. "I haven't seen you for a few days."

Casey opened and closed his mouth, eyes trained on the crystal, and finally croaked out, "Y-Yeah, just…busy. Patrollin', and all that junk…"

April's face fell at Casey's hesitation. It was just as she feared: he was terrified of her. The others were angry, but Casey was outright petrified in her presence. But he didn't need to be; she wouldn't hurt him. Sure, the way he used to get up in her space and antagonize Donnie earned him a few hits to the head, but she wouldn't want to hurt him. Holding her hand out, she pleaded, "Casey, I won't do anything to you. What happened was-"

"No offense, Red, but I can't exactly get over th' fact that you cracked D open like an egg." Casey cut her off when he found his voice. To him, she tried to act like the whole thing was no big deal and her claims of not hurting him were bogus. And if she knew better, she wouldn't claim it was an 'accident'. Tripping Donnie would've been an accident, not slamming him into the pavement.

"He was just tryin' to talk some sense into you. You got mad at 'im for it an' took it too far. I've got nightmares from it, y'know…an' I can't really tell my Dad an' sister that you tried to kill 'im."

April cast her eyes down and buried whatever irritation she felt underneath. Casey wasn't the type of person to lecture her, and she didn't even want another lecture from anyone. But he was right…she couldn't expect Casey to be okay around her, and she made the choice to let her anger consume her. The thoughts inside told her to shoot Casey down and throw his rivalry with Donnie in his face, but she ignored them in favor of listening.

"Casey, I'm sorry." April apologized somberly. "I just got so mad, and I ended up losing control when I should've listened to Donnie in the first place…"

"Don't say sorry to me." Casey spoke quietly, brown eyes narrowed with caution and watching April for any changes. "Say it to Donnie. He deserves that much. He doesn't deserve to be kept in th' dark."

April suddenly looked up in surprise. "Kept in the dark? You mean…"

Casey immediately gulped. ' _Oh, crap.'_

Why did he let it slip? Now April knew Donnie was awake, and he could see her make a running start for the lair. Granted, she would've eventually been told, but Splinter had to give her clearance first. Sensei was definitely going to kill him if Raph didn't first. He suddenly started trailing after her and thinking of a convenient cover-story along the way…

* * *

"Here, just take small sips, okay?"

Donnie stared at the bowl of warm soup with apprehension before looking back at Mikey. For one, he wasn't used to hearing his baby brother sound so mature and attentive. If anything, he expected him to hold the spoon in the air and tell him the 'train was coming'. But having Mikey act like a serious and nurturing brother instead of some goofy babysitter felt off, though not in a bad way. A few seconds passed, and all that maturity went out the window when Mikey gave him the puppy-dog eyes. Donnie really wasn't in the mood to eat, but complied as to not upset his baby brother.

Mikey grinned as Donnie turned his head and sipped broth from the spoon. "See, it's not so bad! I don't make pizza-related stuff all the time, bro!"

"Yeah, it's not like my body can tolerate pepperoni and cheese mixed with chicken broth." Donnie spoke tiredly before taking another spoonful of soup. "So, how long are you planning to keep my attacker a secret?"

Mikey's grin disappeared, which made Donnie regret asking the question. Before he could backtrack, the turtle in orange replied, "D, if it were up to me, I'd totally tell you who did it. But you don't deserve to hurt worse…so you just gotta wait until you're better enough to handle it."

Donnie looked away, staring at the IV drip and monitors that served as cruel reminders of his condition. He had to face the possibility that their team would be one turtle short forever. No…no matter what Rockwell would say, he wouldn't give up. He would make himself get better, find his attacker, and give them a taste of what they put him through. He normally wasn't one to go for ruthless vengeance, but having his shell caved in gave him justifiable reason for it.

"When will that be, Mikey?" Donnie asked lowly. "How do I know you'll even tell me at all?"

Mikey grew quiet at Donnie's accusatory questions. He wanted to tell him, but didn't want to hurt Donnie even more. If Donnie could just understand that, things would be a lot easier. Donnie wasn't fragile, but he didn't have the thickest skin, either. But when Mikey readied another bite of soup…

"What the hell are you doin' here!?" Raph's voice roared.

Out in the pit, Leo and Raph kept themselves glued to the television until Mikey finished giving Donnie his dinner. That was when they heard footsteps and assumed it was the Mutanimals or Casey. They opened their mouths to give a casual greeting, but instead found themselves face-to-face with April. April and the crystal still resting against her chest. Did Splinter give her clearance without their knowledge? A panting Casey right behind her told them everything they needed to know.

"Casey, you idiot…" Raph rumbled.

"I-It slipped out, man!" Casey breathed out, hunched over with his hands on his knees. "I-I didn't think she'd go now, honest!"

Leo remained calm in contrast to Raph, but the look on his face conveyed his own displeasure. "April, you know you have to get clearance from Splinter first. You should keep your distance for a while."

"I have to see him, Leo!" April begged. "I have to know he's awake!"

April didn't wait for Leo to answer or go fetch Splinter, however. Right as Leo opened his mouth, she bolted past him and Raph and went straight for the lab. The two of them immediately gave chase, Casey trailing behind in pants, but were unable to stop her from stepping into Donnie's path of vision. They heard her call out Donnie's name again, surprising Mikey and getting Donnie's full attention. But the moment Donnie locked eyes with her.

Donnie's breathing grew labored. His eyes widened as big as dinner plates, his entire body shook, and the monitor indicated his heart racing to near-dangerous levels. His broken shell immediately burned, and images flashed through his mind as he stared into her eyes. Instead of those expectant blue eyes he knew, he once again saw those hate-laced, glowing eyes. He saw those teeth bared, that hand raised, the anger in her voice…

He remembered now. April did this to him.

"G-Get away! G-Get a-way from me!"

Mikey reached over in an attempt to calm his brother down, but that was when Donnie started flailing violently. His arm swatted the bowl of soup out of Mikey's grasp, and it fell to the floor in a pile of broken china and hot broth. Leo darted past the now-hurt April and helped Mikey restrain Donnie, who kept shouting as long as April remained. Raph suddenly intervened, but kept glaring at April; he wanted her to know she wasn't welcome.

"Donnie, calm down!" Leo insisted while holding his brother's arm.

"GET AWAY!" Donnie screeched, fighting his brothers and surprising them with his strength. "GET HER AWAY!"

April's jaw slacked open, and if it wasn't for Casey, she'd have fallen to her knees. She watched helplessly as Donnie thrashed around, small drops of blood hitting the pillows from aggravating his shell, and his brothers attempting to hold him down. Having Casey afraid of her was bad enough, having the guys and Splinter angry at her was enough…but this killed her inside. She never would've thought Donnie would be so afraid of her that he begged her to get away. She already caused him so much pain and now more just by being in his sights.

"You heard him." Raph spoke dangerously. "Get _away_."

April stood like a statue for a few seconds, but started shaking her head slowly, hot tears prickling her eyes. She bolted out of the lab and into the tunnels when the consequences of her actions proved too much. Mikey and Casey watched her leave with actual worry, wanting to chase after her. Leo remained torn, but focused his attention on calming Donnie down. Raph, however, figured she didn't leave soon enough and prayed she wouldn't come back.

As Donnie's cries died down, that was when Splinter entered the fray. The way he tapped his cane spoke of his displeasure and desire for answers. "What is going on here?"

* * *

April didn't know what tunnel she ended up in, but she didn't care. She figured she ran far enough from the lair so that no one could find her, if they gave chase. She could easily ignore the stench of the sewer water and darkness of the tunnel. All she wanted was to be alone and think of what happened.

The redhead collapsed onto her bottom and hugged her knees as she thought of Donnie's reaction to her. She traumatized him so much that instead of wanting to be in her presence, he begged to be out of her presence. Long ago, Donnie would give anything to have her around, and the time she lived with them was a dream come true. Now she was a walking nightmare to him. But if it had happened to her, she'd do the same. Who would want to be in the same room as the person who tried to kill them? It became too much; with each passing day, she faced more and more of the consequences of her angry outburst.

 _'What did I tell you? They no longer trust you. They think you're a danger to Donnie. As long as they have any say, they'll never let you be around him.'_

"But you saw how Donnie reacted! He was terrified of me!" April argued. "As long as I keep this crystal, they'll never trust me again! I should just get rid of it and go from there!"

As April grabbed the crystal, her skin suddenly burned. Raising it above her head caused more tears, the pain intensifying with every pull, until she gave up and let it fall back down. She wanted to get rid of it, but didn't want to let go of it, either. Her thoughts suddenly grew stern, and April found herself shrinking.

 _'So this is how you want to repay me for making you stronger? You want to get rid of me? You want Donnie to keep suffering?'_

"What? N-No, I needed to be stronger!" April answered. "But this shouldn't be worth his life!"

 _'Even if you get rid of it, will they trust you? Will they really blame the crystal, or will their blame be squarely on your shoulders? Face it, April…they think you're no different from a filthy Kraang. That's what you are to them; what you've always been.'_

"But…"

 _'Trust in me alone. I will never be angry with you. As long as you do that, you will save Donnie, and he'll beg to be around you again. That's how it should be, right?"_

April lowered her head and hovered her hand around the crystal, but avoided having it in the usual strangle-hold. Now, her fingers barely touched the stone. She couldn't shake how cruel and calculating the thoughts had become…

* * *

"So, you are telling me that Donatello is now frightened of April?"

With Donnie now under heavy sedation, Splinter decided to ask the others of what happened. They explained April learning about Donnie through Casey's slip of the tongue, Donnie's violent reaction to April, and her running off into the sewers. When they couldn't restrain Donnie, they had no choice but to medicate him and prevent further damage to his shell. Now they were left pondering what to do concerning him and April. Judging from the expression on the rat's face, it was something they didn't want to hear.

"This is much worse that I imagined. Donatello being this frightened of April will prove to be a challenge." Splinter spoke, leaning on his cane as he felt a weight press against him and lower his mood. "Healing must take place, not just for Donatello, but for all of us."

Leo leaned forward with interest. "What are you suggesting, Sensei?"

Splinter stood before his sons and Casey and addressed, "We must heal in terms of forgiving April."

Raph suddenly shot up from his seat. "You want us to _forgive_ her, Sensei!? After everything she did!? Don't you care about how scared Donnie is!?"

"Sit, Raphael."

Raph wanted to protest, but Splinter's cold gaze prompted his body into obedience. Once he sat back down, the rat decided to explain further, "We must each address April's insecurities and forgive her for her actions, or true healing will not occur. If we want her to have our trust back, we must present her with the opportunity to do so. One-on-one sessions will prove effective…and Donatello will be last."

"Maybe if Donnie sees that April's trying to make amends with us, he'll be less afraid of her…" Mikey realized quickly.

"You are correct, Michelangelo. Each of us must find a way to heal our relationship with April, but it will all come down to whether or not Donatello forgives her. Also…"

Leo tilted his head, "There's another reason, isn't there?"

Splinter slowly nodded. "If April is allowed another chance with each of us, then it could lessen her dependency on the crystal. Finding greater trust in us, if all goes well, will weaken her reliance on it. True healing between herself and Donatello will not begin until the crystal is gone."

The others mulled over Splinter's plan, and it made some sense. April had a problem with keeping her insecurities to herself, hence why she grew to rely so much on the crystal. If she could see that they would give her another chance, lay things out on the table, then she would probably get rid of it. Without the crystal, she couldn't hurt Donnie like she did again, and they could start working on healing. The looks on their faces told them they were on board…except for one.

Leo watched Raph raise from his seat and stomp towards his room. "Raph, where are you going?"

"To my room, where else!?" Raph replied heatedly before sharply turning around. "Your fantasy plan might work in your head, Sensei, but I want nothin' to do with this! I want _nothin'_ to do with HER!"

The door to Raph's room slammed shut, and Leo looked at their father with worry. Splinter only sighed deeply and spoke, "Give him time. As with April, Raphael's anger clouds his judgment. It is easier for him to hold a grudge than risk opening himself up to April."

"Well, if we're going to do this, we'll need Karai and Shinigami involved, too." Leo suggested. "They have a part in this; they're more-or-less the trigger for all this."

Splinter nodded, but also wondered if he bit off more than he could chew with this plan. True, he didn't trust April as of now, but if she truly showed remorse for her actions, then he would allow her to earn his trust back and find forgiveness. He hoped the others would comply with this plan if it meant helping Donatello. But having Raphael cooperate with a plan involving forgiveness was never easy…

* * *

 **And there we have it! So, will Raph finally buckle and decide to give April another chance, or will he remain a stubborn ol' turtle? April's going to start some one-on-one sessions with everyone and not only get through her dark feelings, but also work to earn everyone's trust and forgiveness. But will she give the crystal up so easily? Not if a certain spirit has anything to say about it. Stay tuned for the next chapter and Turtle Dove updates!**


	7. Between Us Girls

**Author's Note: Welcome again to another chapter! So, you know how April would do one-on-one sessions? Well, first up she'll be doing it with Karai. I think there's still some unresolved tension between the two, but they're about to get it settled one way or another, if April can keep herself from going ballistic again. Plus, we'll be learning what Donnie's prognosis is. Will he be able to walk or even be a ninja anymore? Well, just read and find out!**

* * *

Chapter 7: Between Us Girls

"So…what's my prognosis, Rockwell?"

Donatello couldn't hide the wince on his face that came from his pain-filled shell being touched. Laying on his side caused more discomfort, but it was the least-painful way for Dr. Rockwell to check for signs of healing. Donnie was skeptical, seeing as it was only a week since he woke up, that any healing occurred. He also took into account possible damage caused by his 'outburst' after seeing…her. Just thinking of her made his body tremble in dread, something Rockwell quickly caught during the examination. Donnie knew the mutant chimp was concerned when he felt his hand on his jittery shoulder.

"Donatello, I can't see any changes if you keep trembling. Try to keep calm, my boy." Rockwell scolded gently.

Donnie reluctantly complied and allowed Rockwell to keep checking his shell, no matter how painful. Rockwell looked over the shell and saw the remnants of the amateur patchwork done, and it caused him to feel shame for a moment. He was a scientist and knew of biology, yes, but he wasn't a doctor found at a local hospital. When it came to surgeries or putting a broken body part back together, he did as well as Donatello's medically-unqualified brothers. If anything, his concerns were that this patchwork did more harm than good. If April's attack didn't cause paralysis, then shoddy medical work would…

"There seems to be healing in the shell. The keratin is regenerating slowly, but surely. Since I brushed up on my knowledge of turtles, I'm much more prepared if further repairs are needed." Rockwell's calm smile faded and his eyes immediately focused on the turtle's legs. "But this is the moment of truth. Donatello…try moving your legs."

Donnie took a deep breath and attempted to heed Rockwell's request. Both of his legs trembled crazily, an early sign that they still functioned. But would they actually move instead of just trembling? Donnie barely lifted his left leg forward before it fell back with a cry of pain. With pain radiating in his thigh and all of his shell, it masked the sense of surprise and relief he felt. His leg actually moved, and he could feel pain in it. There was a chance he would recover, but what if it led to something worse? He constantly feared an infection, a severe case of sepsis, and his leg movement being a false sense of hope. And all because he just tried to be a good friend.

"It looks like your legs still function, but until your shell heals, you won't be able to move them without causing pain." Rockwell noted before preparing Donnie another dose of pain medication and water. "So as your shell heals, you must limit your mobility. I'll see if I can set you up with a wheelchair if you need to get around. Once you've healed enough, you'll need to undergo intense physical therapy to regain full function."

Rockwell heard no response from Donatello. As the mutant chimp turned to bring the medicine to him, he could hear quiet sniffles. He knew immediately Donatello was the source. He found himself confused as to why the turtle would be crying. Tears of joy at not being paralyzed? Or tears of pain from continuing to relive the horrific incident? Splinter told him of the fit triggered by April's presence, and even he could sense a dark influence attaching itself to her. Whether or not he wanted to place full blame on that influence, he didn't know. But he knew Donatello suffered enough.

"…Why…why did she do this to me?" Donnie asked, not actually addressing Rockwell. He slowly hugged his body with his trembling arms and closed his eyes, tears falling down his face. "…I just wanted to help her…"

"Donatello, you have no blame in this." Rockwell assured. "Put yourself first. Once you recover, then you can confront April."

Donnie only shook his head. "I…I actually…want to hate her for what she did. B-But I just want to know why…" A strangled sob, then, "I want to know…why that crystal's more important…"

Now he understood why Donnie didn't express happiness with his prognosis. He surely expected painful physical therapy and a long recovery. However, Donatello could handle physical pain…but he wasn't adept at handling emotional pain. Since this incident was caused by the girl Donnie adored-with a message that an alien trinket mattered more-the emotional pain threatened to be permanent.

 _'God, be with this poor child…'_ Rockwell prayed in deep sadness.

* * *

"You may be wondering why we are gathered here, April."

April was honestly surprised that Master Splinter didn't call her to the lair. She quickly deduced that it wouldn't rile up Raph and cause a physical altercation of some sorts. What surprised her more, however, was that Splinter called her to Shredder's old throne room at the abandoned Foot headquarters. She hadn't been here for weeks, not since her humiliating defeat against Shinigami, grimacing at the memories flooding back. But Splinter had to have a good reason to call her here, especially if he had to get her father involved in getting her to come. Maybe some new form of meditation to control her anger?

Then they walked in. April's shoulders hunched the moment she caught sight of Karai and Shinigami. Splinter brought her to their home turf for some strange purpose; perhaps they would humiliate her again as punishment over Donnie. But Splinter wasn't cruel like the Shredder, so he had to have a good reason for this meeting.

 _'Look at them…lambs to the slaughter. Now you can show them the consequences of humiliating you.'_

April ignored the thought and chose to have a silent stare-down with Shinigami. The witch didn't stare back with that usual condescending smirk, to her surprise. Shinigami's expression remained emotionless, her lips set in a small frown, while Karai shared the same expression. For them to not treat what was about to happen as a game made the tension grow in the room, most radiating from April. Splinter allowed for the stare-down to continue a minute longer, but decided that things needed to get moving now.

"In order to heal your relationships with everyone involved, we must get to the source of your anger." Splinter began, eyes boring into April's very soul and arms held behind his back to show his authority. "Words have been exchanged in the past, and your insecurities have caused conflict with others. It is time to face these insecurities one at a time, and a lesson to trust others to help with your problems."

The redhead stared incredulously at the rat and quietly asked, "And…how will I do that, Sensei?"

Splinter eyed the pathway to his nemesis' throne, glancing for a moment at his daughter and her friend. Looking at April again, the idea suddenly came to him. "There was an exercise I had Raphael perform long ago. He had to dodge arrows from his brothers while they threw insults in his direction. But you will perform the task differently."

His eyes went back to the other two girls, and he spoke firmly, "Shinigami, you may observe, since you are unaware of everything occurring before your arrival. Right now…" He paused and allowed his eyes to settle on Karai. "Let us settle the conflict between April and Miwa."

"What?" Karai, not April, stood straighter in surprise. "Father, we don't have a conflict anymore. We're allies, remember?"

"On the surface, yes. But I can feel resentments still buried beneath." Splinter corrected, yet used his statement as scolding in disguise. Miwa was a stubborn one, and like April, had a hard time admitting her weaknesses. "If not discussed, those resentments fester and cause great damage. April simply let hers show first."

Karai found herself humbled by her father's words. Maybe he wasn't just talking about any bad blood between her and April. Maybe he also addressed her desire to get even with Shredder for her mother's death the years of lies and abuse. She admitted that those factors often led her to taking her frustrations out on others, and April and Leo were often the targets of it. Once her need to get even caused Donatello to get hurt, she realized the severity of dragging them into her crusade, and decided it would just be her and the new Foot Clan. But if she wished to truly have April as her friend, she would have to voice the conflicts between them.

"Now, in this exercise, I want the both of you to engage in sparring." Splinter started, taking a place next to the observant Shinigami. He watched the two girls take opposite places on the walkway, and decided to surprise them with the second condition. "But as you spar, you must throw insults at each other. Do not give cheap shots, either; dig deep and do not hold back."

April and Karai stood in disbelief, and the former asked, "And how is insulting each other supposed to help?"

"It will allow you a setting where you can vent your darkest feelings about each other. Being honest with each other, even if it hurts, will bring you to an understanding with each other." With the statement spoken, and hopefully understood, he commanded, "Now… _hajime_!"

Both hesitated for a split-second, but Karai was the first to charge and swing her fist at April. If there was one thing she prided herself over besides her ninjitsu skills, it was the way her words could cut like a knife. Holding back wouldn't be an issue, either. Either April would listen, or this would be a one-sided fight.

"You can't beat someone who's trained her entire life in ninjitsu!" Karai's punch managed to hit April in the shoulder, but not with enough force to take her down.

April grimaced at the pain, but quickly charged with a roundhouse kick. "Well, I'm surprised the ninja under you listen to you! You're nothing but a bratty half-pint barking orders!"

The kick landed against the side of Karai's head. Karai, however, also refused to go down. The growing intensity of the sparring also made the intensity of the insults grow. She huffed, and shot her knee into April's stomach. "You're always whining about how you miss your normal life when I've had it worse than you!"

April coughed and doubled over from the pain in her stomach. Her anger began to leak through the surface, and the crystal gave a faint glow. Her hand twitched as though to reach for her tanto, but stopped herself short. She took a deep breath and fought to maintain control, as her anger caused the dire situation in the first place. But the anger wouldn't go away, though she decided to increase the force of her words.

"You're still no different from the Shredder!" April managed to catch Karai and painfully twist her arm behind her back. "You're as crazy-obsessive with revenge as he is!"

That struck a nerve with Karai. If there was one thing she and the others knew, it was that comparing her to the Shredder now was bound to bring up bad memories. She was _nothing_ like him. She didn't mutate people she claimed to love, and she wouldn't kill the person she obsessed over because of some love triangle. She wouldn't lock up her child when they wanted the truth of their heritage. April was some spoiled girl who didn't know what true suffering was, and she would let her have it.

"At least I'm not some test-tube kid created by psychotic aliens to be a weapon of mass destruction!" Karai spun around and caught April in a headlock, teeth gritted and rage in her brown eyes at the previous insult. "You don't feel so special now, do you!?"

Splinter suddenly felt the situation growing out of control. "That is enough, both of you."

But they refused to listen. Their blows against each other grew increasingly violent, and Splinter feared he would have to physically separate them as he often did with Leonardo and Raphael. To his surprise, Shinigami held her arm in front of him. He didn't know what her intention was, but he would not let the fight evolve into bloodshed. When he opened his mouth and made a move to lower her arm, she beat him to the punch.

"They need this. Only step in when necessary."

April received a punch to the mouth and found herself surprised she still had her teeth. Karai was never one to hold back, not even against a 'novice'. Whether friend or foe, her fighting style was always 'go for the kill', even when they first butted heads before April moved to the lair for safety. It was just a lucky strike that allowed her escape, but she wasn't that weak little girl anymore. Whether or not they wanted to believe it, she was stronger. She was a legitimate threat. She could be a killer, too. She immediately hovered her hand over the handle of her tanto and shot Karai a poisonous glare.

 _'Kill her.'_

"You always think you're so much better than me!"

April yanked the tanto out of its sheath and got a running start towards the other kunoichi. What Karai said next proved powerful enough to make her think twice about bringing the tanto in.

"You're everything Splinter wanted in a daughter!"

April stopped dead in her tracks. Karai still looked ready to go and pull out her own tanto, until she saw April's dragon tanto slip out of her hand and clatter against the floor. Why the sudden look of shock? Was it from the revelation, or realizing she was ready to kill her? Whatever the case, April just stared at her as though the confession surprised her that much. But for April, the confession told her everything she needed to know. It told her the reason as to why there was tension between the two in the first place.

Jealousy.

In the background, Splinter flattened his ears and looked away in shame. How could he not see it sooner? Perhaps his joy in having his daughter back blinded him to the envy between her and April, and knew it went both ways. Shinigami briefly looked surprised, but kept her emotions back in check. They both watched Karai and April catching their breaths and attempting to find a way to lessen the awkwardness of the situation. But Karai suddenly opened her mouth, and the normally-controlled kunoichi found the words tumbling out without any planning ahead.

"You're everything I should've been as Miwa, but Shredder ruined everything about me. And…Father doesn't look at me the way he looks at you. You're…everybody _likes_ you. But look at me." She waved her hand between herself and April to emphasize the point, fighting to keep frustrated tears back. "Anything I say or do just hurts the people I care about. No matter how hard I try, I'm stuck being in the Shredder's shadow. Compared to me, you have it made, and you shouldn't take it for granted…"

April didn't know what to say. It was then she realized even more how alike she and Karai were, but also how different they were. Both lost their mothers, only Karai's mother was murdered by a man that supposedly loved her. She could possibly get her own mother back, but Karai would never get hers back. She never had to live with a man that expressed 'love' through abusive punishment. She lost her father to mutation, but got him back and the loving man he was, and she had a surrogate father in Splinter. Both had to be cursed as mutants, but April was never mind-controlled or feral. Compared to everything Karai went through, April suddenly felt her complaints about her life were petty. She had it hard due to the Kraang, of course, but she would never take for granted what she still had.

"If it makes you feel any better…I was always jealous of you." April replied. "You're so much stronger than me, and no matter how hard I work towards it, you're always a thousand steps ahead. You _and_ the guys are always ahead, and I feel like I can never catch up. When Shinigami beat me, the both of you just mocked me for trying…and even though you said sorry, I didn't get over it." Hugging her arms and feeling the weight of the confession off her shoulders, she added, "Now I'm afraid that with you back, Splinter and the others don't _need_ me anymore. I got so angry over it, and because of it…I tried to _kill_ Donnie."

Karai wanted to offer some sort of reassurance to April, but feared saying something that would make things worse. That was when she noticed her father looking shameful, realizing that the confession impacted him, too. "F-Father-"

"No…you are right to express that, Miwa." Splinter spoke, his voice low and his ears remaining flat against his head. He stepped forward, hands remaining intertwined behind his back. "You are my daughter, but I did not get to raise you. I did not get to see you grow into who you are now or prevent the hellish circumstances and put you in Shredder's hands. But no matter what, you are my daughter and I love you…and I'm sorry that we are not as close as we should be. I'm sorry that I did not get you away from him."

His eyes went to the morose April, who looked away in shame. "April…I apologize for neglecting you when you needed me most. While I have been busy reconnecting with my biological daughter, I forgot that I also have a surrogate daughter, too. Never feel as though you are inferior to Miwa. You are both my beloved daughters, and I will never stop loving you or needing you. Not even in this grave situation."

Karai stepped aside in time for April to collapse against Splinter in sobs. She would have her moment with him later, but April needed it more now. At least now, the healing could begin with the two of them. While April stood with Splinter and cried it out, Shinigami came to her side and studied April for a silent moment.

"This is just a first step." She noted silently. "I can sense something inside her growing irritable."

"And what does that mean?" Karai asked cautiously, not taking her eyes off April.

"It may be that April is slipping out of its grip, if just a little. But if worse comes to worse…then I may finally try my hand at an exorcism."

Splinter soon let go of April and allowed her to find reconciliation with Karai and Shinigami. This time, he knew April would readily accept it. But his sad smile at watching her turned into a guarded frown. He could feel the dark cloud within her growling like a predatory animal, feeling the frustration at April pulling away from it. The more she did this, the weaker the darkness would become.

But now, things were going to get harder for her.

* * *

 **And so it looks like things are cool between the girls! Next up will be Mikey, and boy will things get interesting. Especially since Donnie will once again spot April, but will he have as bad a freak-out as he did the first time? Is April truly starting to slip out of the entity's grasp? Well, stay tuned and find out!**


	8. Sticky Fingers

**Author's Note: I finally have this chapter done! As I said before, this will be Mikey and April's one-on-one talk. Mikey still blames himself for what happened to Donnie, and now he fears someone else shoulders him with the blame, too. Meanwhile, April decides to talk with Mikey and settle everything wrong between them. Will things be fixed, or will April's attachment to the crystal shatter that? Well, you have to read and find out!**

* * *

Chapter 8: Sticky Fingers

Michelangelo didn't know how to react the moment he saw his brother in the wheelchair.

Rockwell relayed to them just what he discussed with Donatello after the checkup. While Donnie would be able to walk again, using his legs caused too much pain and risked halting his recovery. It was a few days later that Rockwell and Leatherhead showed up with a hospital-grade wheelchair, carelessly thrown out of an underfunded clinic. Besides the wheelchair, Donnie had to stay in bed and be on limited activity. While it relieved Mikey to know Donnie had a form of mobility, it still disturbed him to see him in a chair instead of strutting around the lair.

But it disturbed him more how much Donnie freaked out just from _looking_ at April. It hurt seeing his brother be so afraid of the girl he all but worshipped since day one. And all over a freaky alien crystal, too. However, if it came down to it, he would forgive her no matter what. He wasn't like Raph; he didn't like holding grudges. Maybe doing these one-on-one sessions with April would get Raph and Donnie to see the power of a second chance. She seemed to be working hard for that.

Right?

"You look like you have something to say, Mikey…"

Mikey swallowed the lump in his throat when he saw the bitter expression on Donnie's face. He stared for too long, and now Donnie was mad. "N-No, D! I wasn't staring at you like that or anything!"

For Donnie, Mikey just looked at him like he was some sideshow freak; he of all people should know better. He looked at him like he was a stranger because of this godforsaken chair. He pushed past the thought that he could walk again with enough time and healing. Even someone like Rockwell, the oh-so-powerful psychic, could be wrong. The thought of the word 'psychic' suddenly made Donnie shudder when he thought of another psychic he knew…April. The very reason he was in the chair in the first place. Terror just from the thought of her mixed with the anger he felt for her putting him in this state. Is this what he deserved for trying to be a good friend? Was there even a point in salvaging what was left of their relationship at the detriment of his health?

"Go ahead…keep staring at your poor, _wounded_ brother." Donnie sneered. "Keep staring so you can satisfy that sickening curiosity of yours…"

Donnie knew he was being unfair, but Mikey didn't have to be stuck in a chair or in bed with a broken shell. He didn't have to deal with the fact that the girl he gave his time and heart to showed her appreciation by trying to murder him. But she had no problem sparing the others and _Casey_ …she just targeted him because he was easy that way. Did he…did he ever matter to her at all? Were all those times she showed worry and affection fake? Was their entire friendship nothing but a lie he deluded himself with?

"…She's sorry, bro…" Mikey mumbled. "You're gonna get better, and she'll make it up to you. Just…just don't give up, Donnie…"

Donnie only lowered his head, gripping the armrests until his knuckles turned white. When was Mikey going to realize that not everyone in their inner circle was pure and innocent and only cause accidents? Why couldn't Mikey care enough that he still had nightmares of April and how she sounded when she hurt him?

 _"Stay away from MY CRYSTAL!"_

And yet he still couldn't find it in himself to have nothing but hatred towards her. Perhaps the fear he had towards her would be enough. Maybe with enough time, she'd learn to stay away and not hurt him again. Because if she could do it to him, what would she do to everyone else?

"Hey, D, want me to get you some coffee or a slice of pizza-"

"Don't, Mikey." Donnie held a hand up to his brother, feeling slightly offended by Mikey's request. He didn't need his baby brother making him feel any more worthless than he did. He sullenly grasped the wheels of the chair and pushed himself to the kitchen, saying, "I can do it _myself_."

Mikey shrunk back, hurt by Donnie's sharp words, which were a 'nice' way of saying 'leave me alone'. The bright side of him said that Donnie was just angry and taking it out on him because he was just there. If it were Leo or Raph, Donnie would've done it to them, too. However, another part suggested that Donnie blamed him for April's rampage. He could deal with it now if it was just the others blaming him…but the possibility of Donnie blaming him broke his heart. He couldn't deal with it if Donnie started hating him for what happened, or being scared of him like he was April.

Well, it wasn't like he didn't mess everything up on a daily basis…

* * *

April didn't try to go to the lair today. After seeing Donnie's reaction to her and the hostility oozing from Raph, it would be best not to return for a while. But here she was, sitting on the roof of Murakami's, waiting for someone. The other person probably knew things would be too tense at the lair for a conversation. Meeting at her place wouldn't work, either, as her father also grew uneasy around her since the incident. This place would have to do. She felt apprehensive, still getting over the revelations from her fight with Karai. What if that was the only one that had resolve? If she took one wrong step, it was all over…

"Thanks for meeting me here."

April looked up, the voice almost unrecognizable at first, and found Michelangelo. She didn't have to use her psychic powers to know whatever cheer he had was forced. Something must have happened at the lair; maybe Raph yelled at him over her again. She didn't ask about Raph much, not unless it was necessary. Right now, she only ever asked about Donnie. Asked about his recovery, hoped for his forgiveness. Now though, her thoughts had to focus on Mikey.

 _'Watch yourself. That little thief will try and seize the crystal again.'_

"Is Donnie doing okay?" She asked quietly.

Her heart dropped when Mikey simply looked away. She feared that perhaps Donnie's injuries grew worse and perhaps he really would be paralyzed. But Mikey finally looked at her and answered, "He's getting around in a wheelchair, but…but I don't know if he'll be the same Donnie up here." He pointed to his head at the words 'up here'. "He…kind of chewed me out for seeing him in the chair."

April wanted to reach out and wrap Mikey in a hug, but stopped out of fear of what could happen. Either he would rebuff her action or she would end up hurting him. Instead, she only tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and fiddled with the crystal still residing over her chest. She saw Mikey glance at it, but pretended not to notice. She couldn't begin to imagine how Donnie felt right now, which made her guilt grow even more. Now it looked like Donnie chose another target for his resentment.

"You didn't do anything to him, Mikey." April assured. "It sounds like he's just upset about everything and taking it out on you."

Mikey only shrugged. "I guess you picked that up, huh? I didn't think I was that easy to read. Even Master Splinter can't tell what I'm thinking sometimes…"

She didn't know whether the comment was complimentary or sarcastic, but didn't push the issue. That wasn't why they were here. Right now, they would have their talk. They would clear the air, resolve their issues, and either mend the bridge or burn it. While she believed Mikey wouldn't hang onto a grudge, she also knew he had anger buried beneath after the others traveled through his subconscious. But if he did have a lot of anger towards her, he certainly hid it well; well enough that she couldn't pick up on it.

"He blames me for what happened."

April's head shot up at Mikey's words. It was a statement she found hard to swallow, and sounded so out-of-place coming from Mikey. Donnie couldn't possibly blame his little brother for what happened. Mikey didn't need any of the blame; it was all on her.

"He doesn't blame you." April wrung her hands together and suppressed the desire to take hold of Mikey's hands. "Donnie wouldn't do that; he knows you wouldn't hurt him on purpose. The only one he should be blaming is ME. None of you deserve it."

April wasn't trying to sound selfish in any regard. It was her selfishness that caused all this, and the only way to fix this was to be selfless. "Mikey, Donnie loves you too much to blame you. You're not just his brother, you're his best friend. A better friend than I've been...and whether he likes it or not, he knows he needs you to be there for him…"

Mikey looked at her with the most pitiful expression he could muster up. For a long time, he came to like having April around because she didn't call him a screw-up or idiot. She, Donnie, and Casey were the ones he felt closest to, as Raph and Leo always got on his case. But now he didn't know what to feel about it. Raph and Leo were now hovering over him and telling him it wasn't his fault. Casey was too wrapped up in hiding to do anything with him. The look in April's eyes told him she _wanted_ him to hate her even after he couldn't. Donnie…Donnie couldn't even stand to _look_ at him.

"Mikey, stop pretending. You have every right to hate me for what's happened…"

The turtle in orange looked surprised by April's out-of-the-blue statement. But as the look in her eyes told him, this was her way of begging him to hate her. Resent her instead of forgiving her. She wanted him to hate her so he wouldn't blame himself. She wanted him to despise her if it meant that Donnie would heal or that he would heal. But he couldn't hate her, no matter what. That didn't mean the situation didn't make him angry, but he kept that buried inside. Being mad wouldn't help Donnie.

April didn't like Mikey's silence or the sudden shake of his head. She missed the talkative, energetic turtle she knew, and now she sat staring at this quiet, sullen, depressed turtle that had on Mikey's mask. She knew now that Donnie wasn't the only one broken; she broke the entire family. All because of the crystal and the thoughts that wouldn't shut up…

"Why won't you resent me?" She begged in frustration. "Why aren't you angry with me-"

"You think I'm not angry!?"

She jumped at Mikey's sudden outburst. For Mikey, he didn't know what caused him to finally snap; maybe it was April just begging him to throw her away. What gave her the right to ask him to hate her? He absolutely loved April, no matter what, and here she wanted to throw that away because she had the idea it would make him feel _better_? If she wasn't April, he would honestly slap her right now.

"You think I'm not mad at you for what happened!? Of course I'm mad at you over it! I don't hate you, but I'm angry at you, April!" Mikey possessed that wild look in his eyes, and if he wasn't trying to remain calm, he would've turned into a clone of Raph. But every bit of pent-up rage over the whole situation he kept buried down finally spewed to the surface like striking oil. "I still blame myself for making you mad, but I'm mad because YOU decided to not let it go! YOU decided to hurt Donnie and talk down to us because of that _stupid crystal_!"

April felt a bit of frustration of her own coming out, though she knew Mikey had every right to yell at her. "Well, when you stole my crystal, it made me feel like you didn't respect me enough to ask me, Mikey! I…" She paused, fists clenched, then exclaimed, "I just felt like how I or anyone else felt never mattered to you!"

"I know that now, April! I regret the fact that I've been a jerk to everybody! Heck, it's not the first time Donnie's got hurt because of me!"

Mikey gritted his teeth and gripped his biceps with trembling hands. He knew that many times, he preferred blaming someone else instead of himself, even when he caused the problem in question. But this…he couldn't deny his responsibility. He screwed up too much to say it wasn't his fault, and Donnie ended up being the unfortunate victim. The Creep incident was only the icing on the cake before _this_.

"The crystal brought Monoculus to life after Donnie examined it, and I know I should've just left it alone. But stupid ol' me decided that wasn't enough! No, I decided to sneak into the lab while Donnie slept and nab the crystal so I could bring Wingnut and Screwloose to life! And here I thought stealing Donnie's bad retromutagen and _rubbing_ it on myself was the stupidest thing ever! Or mutating your cat, for crying out loud!"

April didn't say anything, only listening to Mikey let it all out. She knew he earned the right to do so, and bringing up his mistakes proved pointless now. He owned up to things he did, but not to alleviate his own guilt. He did this for Donnie and Donnie alone.

"…And I wasn't much help in boosting your confidence, either. I screwed up and let Shini beat us. You lost your tanto because of _me_. You…you hurt Donnie because of what I did." Mikey couldn't stay strong anymore and let tears flood from his eyes. He didn't see April's heartbroken expression for pressing his face into his hand to muffle his hiccups and sniffles. "I'm just a stupid screw-up who can't keep his hands to himself…"

The last time April witnessed Mikey break down like that happened after Shredder stabbed Splinter in the back. The event they could erase, but it didn't erase the pain of witnessing it. This was something they couldn't use a time machine to erase, and this pain couldn't be erased. But Mikey was wrong… _she_ caused this pain. She acted unstable before he took the crystal. His actions served as a catalyst, but the problem started before, and all because of her wounded pride.

 _'Let him grovel. Let him take the blame. It's all his fault. Have him get on his knees and BEG for forgiveness. Rub it in his face how he stole what's most precious to you and that you'll never forgive him.'_

"No."

Mikey looked at her with confusion dancing in his bleary eyes. April really didn't know who she addressed-the thoughts or Mikey-but either way, she heard enough. She didn't want Mikey to take the blame for what she did anymore. She didn't want these thoughts coming back anymore. She just wanted it all to _stop_.

"Mikey…never, EVER, call yourself stupid or a screw-up again. If there's anyone fitting that criteria right now, it's me." April saw him open his mouth, but held a hand up. "You took my crystal, and it honestly hurt my feelings that you didn't ask me for it…but I was getting messed up before that. But what happened to Donnie isn't your fault."

Mikey sniffled, "But-"

"Did you make me hurt Donnie? Did you command me to do it?" When he shook his head, she continued, "No…I chose to hurt Donnie because I thought I could take my anger out on him. And when I did that, I broke you, and Leo, and Raph, and everyone else, too. I decided to let everything that happened build up, and I dealt with it the wrong way. But no matter what, what I did was in no way your fault. I hurt Donnie instead of choosing to let it go…"

It was a lot like what Master Splinter told them. They didn't force April to hurt Donnie, and even she admitted that she chose to take her anger out on him instead of calming down. It didn't lessen the guilt he felt for the build-up, or the anger Donnie now felt towards him. "…But that doesn't excuse how I treated you, April. I still stole something important to you and made you lose to Shinigami…"

"I got over that, Mikey. After what happened, I realize now how stupid I acted over the crystal. As for Shinigami…I forgave her, and I know you didn't do it on purpose." The redhead felt tears burning her eyes, and she cautiously approached Mikey again. "I'm so sorry, Mikey. You and Donnie both tried to help me, and I treated you horribly…and now I've caused problems between you…"

Mikey didn't even hesitate anymore, and he lunged forward to give April a hug. It triggered both of them to break down and get every bit of grief built up to the surface. She could have remained angry at Mikey for stealing from her, but the massive guilt she felt radiating from him told her his remorse proved real. For Mikey, his anger towards the redhead cooled as he felt her guilt coming off in waves. She truly was sorry for what she did; if she wasn't, she wouldn't be making an effort to heal things. Even if she still wore the crystal, she didn't seem so crazy over it now. Maybe that was a sign things would get better.

They broke the embrace, and April wiped her nose on her sleeve. "Mikey…I'm sorry I never accepted your peace offering. Would you…be willing to accept mine?"

Mikey watched as she went to her seat and pulled out a fresh plate of pizza gyoza. It was odd that she suggested meeting on the rooftop of Murakami's when he asked to see her, but now he knew why. To think she would go through all that trouble just for him. No matter what happened, he would forgive April. He didn't need an offering of gyoza to do that.

But that didn't mean he wouldn't accept an offering of food.

"…Thanks, April." Mikey smiled after wiping his eyes clear of tears.

April smiled at Mikey's gratitude. While handing him the plate of pot stickers, she could feel something inside give a guttural growl. Something inside was irritated by this, after trying to tell her to rub salt in Mikey's wounds. The force was powerful enough to cause pain to radiate through her skull, her blood to run cold, yet her muscles to feel like fire.

 _'You stupid girl…'_

* * *

 **And there we have it! It looks like a certain entity in the crystal is getting angrier with April settling things with others.**

 **Next chapter won't be a one-on-one session, but it'll still have emotional moments. Some Mikey and Donnie moments, April having nightmares and a setback, Donnie's nightmares, and a fight between the two elder brothers and Mikey. Until then, stay tuned!**


	9. Darkness' Chokehold, Part 1

**Author's Note: I'm so sorry for a long update! It sucks when you have everything planned out in your head, but you don't know how to put it down on paper! Well, this chapter's going to be split up into two parts because there's a LOT going on. First, we're going to see if we get any resolution between Donnie and Mikey, and we'll be seeing the setback with April I mentioned last chapter! Next chapter will focus on Donnie's recurring nightmares and Mikey giving Leo and Raph a chewing out. So sit back and enjoy this next installment!**

* * *

Chapter 9: Darkness' Chokehold, Part 1

Michelangelo didn't return for hours.

He counted the hours, minutes, seconds even, and still no sign of his younger brother. He counted other things while he waited for him. How many times he heard the tap of Splinter's cane. How many punches Raphael gave the Shredder dummy before he gave up. The number of times he heard Leonardo change the channel. He still didn't hear the sounds that could only come from Mikey.

Donatello now found himself fumbling with the bottle of painkillers. Rockwell made sure to avoid giving him anything addictive, given his physical and emotional state. Of course, not even Rockwell understood that ibuprofen could only do so much for the burning pain in his shell. His trembling hands finally popped the top off for him to shove two tablets and a gulp of water down his throat. But as he waited for the pain medicine to take effect, Donnie couldn't get rid of the gnawing pain in his chest.

He could see in his brother's eyes how he interpreted his words. Mikey believed his bitterness meant he resented him. Mikey believed he _blamed_ him for what happened. Truthfully, Donnie couldn't deny that he gave Mikey blame for what happened. If Mikey just kept his hands to himself and stopped obsessing over comic-book characters, then…April's crystal obsession wouldn't have gotten worse. Mikey's curiosity bordered on toxic, getting them all into trouble more than they should. If he didn't screw things up again…

But Mikey never wanted him to be hurt. Even at his angriest, Mikey never wished harm on anyone. Ever since this happened, Mikey never once cracked a smile or made a joke. Donnie knew the guilt weighed his brother down that much, but focused on his growing bitterness at his condition. He wanted someone to blame when April wasn't standing right in front of him, and Mikey just happened to enter his line of vision. He wanted to take out his anger on someone he knew wouldn't fight back.

He had to remind himself this wasn't Mikey's fault. It was April's.

A heavy ball of guilt rested in Donnie's stomach. Mikey did everything he could to ease his pain and trauma, and he just shouldered him with all the fault. He despised him just for seeing him in a wheelchair…how could he go lower than that?

A new set of footsteps appeared in hearing range, and Donnie hurriedly wheeled himself out of his room. He half-expected it to be Leo or Raph checking on him, and feared that Mikey wouldn't be coming back after their exchange. But upon entering the main area of the lair, relief washed over him when he saw his freckle-faced brother hopping over the turnstiles. However, the brothers locked eyes and Mikey visibly tensed up, causing a lump of guilt to settle in Donnie's throat. Awkward silence followed between the two, until Mikey decided to make his escape.

"I-I'm gonna go to my room-"

"I'm sorry, Mikey…"

Mikey stood petrified at those three simple words. Not just the words; Donnie spoke them in such a sad tone that doubled their weight. "…H-Huh?"

Donnie wouldn't let him get away no matter what. He watched Mikey gulp as he steadily wheeled himself mere inches away from his brother. He knew from the look in his eyes that his baby brother still felt afraid to even talk to him. Talking to him and expressing how he felt wouldn't damage his shell; Mikey needed to understand that. Donnie knew he had to show Mikey that, and he started with holding his arms out, beckoning his brother to come to him. He hoped the orange-masked turtle would feel brave enough to accept this offer of peace.

And he was right. Mikey immediately dove in and allowed Donnie to wrap his arms around him. Donnie's face fell the moment he heard the sniffles, which evolved into blubbering sobs and shivers. Mikey was always the most cheerful out of all of them; seeing him so broken down proved too foreign. Too painful for Donnie to bear. He silently rubbed circles on his baby brother's shell, fighting his own tears in sharing the sadness.

"I…I-I-I'm so s-sorry, D-Donnie!"

Donnie gently shushed his brother, "I should be apologizing, Mikey. I've felt so angry and in pain…I wanted to blame it all on you. But…but this isn't your fault. You couldn't have known…"

 _You couldn't have known this would happen._

Mikey sniffled before looking into his brother's eyes. Donnie clearly remained in pain, but not just physically. Donnie shouldn't be hurting over him or what regrets he had. He needed to focus on getting better. He needed to focus less on others and more on himself. And Mikey thought he was the most forgiving one…

"Donnie-"

"You didn't do this to me…this is all on April." Donnie replied, hiding the tint of bitterness in his tone after speaking the girl's name. "She made the choice…and she chose the crystal. You didn't make her choose…"

Before Donnie could wheel back to his room to rest, Mikey grabbed hold of the handle bars and prevented his escape. "Donnie…do you think you'll ever forgive her? Even if she does everything she can to fix things?"

Donnie didn't know what Mikey tried to imply, but it wouldn't surprise him if his baby brother wanted to forgive April. If that's what Mikey wanted, he wouldn't hold it against him. But him? Just the thought of April even now made goosebumps dot his skin, and not in a good way. He couldn't get those hate-filled glowing eyes out of his head and that roaring voice. Even if April achieved some clarity and decided to fight to get back in his good graces…would that be enough? Or perhaps, this time, the damage would be permanent. After all, how could he trust her after that?

"…I don't know, Mikey. If that's the case…she's going to have to work hard for a long time." Pain filled his auburn eyes, and Donnie immediately lowered his head. "Could we not talk about that right now? You're who I'm more worried about, Mikey…"

 _Typical Donnie. Always putting everybody else above himself…_

"Don't worry about me, D…worry about yourself right now. I'll make sure you have everything you need 'till you get better." A somber smile on his lips, Mikey patted the handle bars. While he felt somewhat-disappointed that Donnie remained on the fence for forgiving April, at least he said he wouldn't. But he would get his mind off that right now. "So…how about I make you a peanut butter milkshake?"

No offers to make a pizza shake? That was very un-Mikey-like, but perhaps Mikey overhead Rockwell say Donnie needed more protein. Donnie would've preferred coffee if not for the mutant chimp's lecture on dehydration. Maybe something sweet wouldn't hurt.

"…I'd love that, Mikey."

* * *

 _April found herself standing in the middle of the street. A sane person would get themselves to the sidewalk before an oncoming car turned them into roadkill. However, there wasn't a car or person in sight. It hadn't been this deserted since the Kraang invasion, but they surely didn't return, did they? The air being so bone-chilling didn't help her focus on what was going on, either. Just as she went for the direction of her apartment, she saw it._

 _She saw a shell. While the person wearing the shell had their back to her, she could recognize the lanky physique, the staff…the purple mask tails._

 _"Donnie!"_

 _She bolted for him, happy to see him standing and undamaged. But once she got mere feet away from him, she suddenly froze in place. She didn't just see Donnie…she saw herself. She saw the mirror-image of her raise its arm and looked in horror as Donnie raised in-sync. April opened her mouth to scream, but found her vocal cords paralyzed by unknown means. The mirror-image raised Donnie to unimaginable heights before throwing its arm down._

 _"Stay away from MY CRYSTAL!"_

 _"NO!"_

 _April's voice returned and she rushed to stop this, but it was too late. She relived with full clarity the night Donnie's shell smashed into the pavement. The sickening crack made April's breathing labored, growing worse at the sight of his blood. However, unlike that night, the mirror-image turned to her and flashed a cold, condescending smirk. The smirk chilled her blood, but not as much as those glowing, animalistic eyes. She readied her fist to punch the double in the face, but saw it fading out of the scenery._

 _"A-April…"_

 _April froze, but forced herself to turn around. Choking back a scream of horror, she looked to see Donnie raising into a sitting position. Blood continued to ooze from his shell, and even oozed from his mouth. His eyes became nothing but black, bottomless pits that stared into her soul. She tried to back away, but froze at the anguished expression on Donnie's bloodied face. Why should she run? She just watched herself murder him without remorse…_

 _"Why…why did you hurt me, April?" Donnie asked in a low, echoing tone. "I just wanted to help you…and you hurt me. What did I do to make you hurt me, April?"_

 _April fought to make herself speak despite her tongue and lips feeling like jelly. "I-I was just…I got mad over nothing, and I took it out on you, Donnie! I-I'm sorry, I'll-"_

 _"Sorry won't fix my shell. Sorry won't fix when you yelled at me. It won't fix how you treated me like a dog."_

 _Without warning, 'Donnie' shot up and seized April by the shoulders, forcing her to look into his soulless eyes. "Why do you HATE ME, April!?"_

 _April screamed and tore away from him in a fit of panic. She ran for the streets and mumbled 'I'm sorry' over and over with the faint wish it would fix everything. Right when she got to the street corner, 'Donnie' appeared again…but now, he wasn't alone. She could see glowing pairs of eyes staring at her, and the familiar silhouettes the eyes belonged to. She gulped when she saw the rage, disappointment, sadness, and hatred written in their faces._

 _"You hurt Donnie, you hurt us, April." 'Leo' growled._

 _"No one pushes around my bro and gets away with it." 'Mikey' warned, the blade of his kurisagama drawn._

 _"We HATE you for what you did, April." 'Raph' snarled and pointed the tip of his sai at her._

 _But what hurt most was when 'Donnie' pointed a single finger at her, eyes still bottomless black holes, and declared, "I HATE you, April. I never want to see you again."_

 _April collapsed to her knees and wailed. This was something that lay buried inside since that night. She feared that no matter what she tried to make up for what she did, they-Donnie-would hate her. If they didn't hate her already. But Mikey…Splinter…Karai and Shinigami…she made up with them. Even Casey slowly started treating her normal again. They couldn't-_

 _"I wish I never met you, Red."_

 _To her horror, she could see Casey frowning at her and pointing his hockey stick at her. Next to him appeared Splinter, Shinigami, and Karai wearing equal frowns. Karai's tanto hovered over her face as though she was marked for execution. April immediately hunched her shoulders up and hugged her body in a feeble form of protection. But if it came down to it, she wouldn't put up much of a fight. She already resigned herself to punishment._

 _"You dare call yourself a kunoichi?" 'Karai' snorted in contempt._

 _"You can't even control your temper or your power." 'Shinigami' jeered with a glare._

 _But 'Splinter's' words proved to be the knife to the heart. "April…you have disgraced the name of the Hamato Clan with your foolishness. Relinquish your tanto and leave! If you dare try to return, you will be marked for DEATH!"_

 _April feverishly shook her head and shuffled backwards until she fell on her bottom. "N-No, please…I-I'm sorry! I-I'm sorry for hurting Donnie! P-Please…please forgive me!"_

 _They all suddenly disappeared, only to be replaced with the other April. The 'April' she presented that night when she sacrificed control for denial and obsession. The double still had that irritating smirk on her face, but April stood still in fear instead of getting up to punch her. She froze as the double knelt down and roughly grabbed her chin. She could see those animalistic blue eyes glowering down at her, and could see sharp teeth in its mouth as it spoke._

 _"Don't you see? They hate you. They'll NEVER forgive you, no matter what you do." Her dark fingernails dug into April's skin, leaving marks. "Only trust me and the crystal. Do that, and you'll no longer be stuck on this poor excuse of a planet. You will rise above those unforgiving sub-lifeforms. You will be a GOD."_

 _April pulled herself away from the double. "No! I don't want that! I just want my family and friends back!"_

 _The double grabbed her again and pulled her closer. "You don't belong in this world! You're already an anomaly to them; they've always been afraid of you! What's the point in trying to help those who fear you?"_

 _The double's eyes suddenly grew mad, and she violently shook April. She shouted over and over in a screeching voice, "Don't let them take your power! Don't let them TAKE YOUR POWER!"_

 _"Get it BACK!"_

April woke up with a yell and sat up in bed. The sight of her bedroom instead of the city provided instant comfort, yet the horror of how real the dream was lingered. The shock wore off and she finally noticed the burning sensation within her body. She knew why it usually appeared, and her hand instinctively went for the center of her chest. Nothing. She patted it again in a panic and still found nothing.

Where was the crystal!?

After her nightmare, the crystal should've been the last thing she needed right now. But the burning sensation in her body grew worse by the second and the thoughts screamed for her to get it back. She needed the power to calm her body and mind. She jumped out of bed and started rummaging through her drawers, flinging clothes and papers everywhere. They were empty, the closet was empty, where was it? She ran out of her room and frantically searched the living room. She flung the couch cushions and almost overturned the coffee table until her father finally entered the room.

"April, what on earth are you doing?"

Instead of answering Kirby's question, April turned to him with bloodshot eyes and shouted, "Where's my crystal!?"

The pause between them told her he knew where it was and didn't want to tell her. After the silence became suffocating, Kirby confessed, "I…took it off your neck after you went to bed. Y-You've been so stressed out since you wore it, and with what happened to Donatello-"

"NO!" April sprang up and grabbed her father by the collar of his night shirt. "It's MINE! Give it BACK!"

"April, stop it! Go back to bed and get some rest, please!"

But April wouldn't heed her father's words and kept yanking his collar like a tantrum-throwing child. "Please, Dad, I NEED it! I NEED it!"

Kirby didn't realize until later what he did when he grabbed April by the wrists and shoved her off of him. He didn't mean to use such a method on his daughter, but her frantic behavior made him fear that she would go too far and cause him harm. The way April kept her head down sent a chill through his body, but this wasn't the time to be intimidated. He had to stop being too lenient; perhaps his recent inconsistent parenting served as fuel for the fire of April's increasingly-reckless behavior. Splinter voiced concerns that she allowed her darkest emotions to fester to a boil, which made Kirby feel guilty for not talking to her.

This time, he would be the parent he needed to be. He needed to lay down the law with his daughter.

"April, that alien crystal has a hold on you! You have to be stronger than this!" Kirby scolded with a firm tone, blue eyes narrowed. "Addiction is difficult to fight, I know, but you're stronger than this! You have to want to fight it!" With a sigh, he declared, "You're not getting the crystal back until you realize-"

Kirby couldn't finish his sentence because his throat suddenly closed. No matter how much he gasped, air refused to enter his lungs. It was when he started clawing at his throat that he noticed April's raised hand and glowing blue eyes. He also noticed that grin…that malicious, anger-laced grin. An old jewelry box-his late wife's-that sat on the fireplace mantle suddenly trembled before popping open. His bulging eyes went wider when he saw what floated out.

The crystal.

He tried croaking out her name, but could only watch as the alien crystal glided to April and rested comfortably on her chest. The grin on April's face disappeared as she raised the crystal with her free hand and pressed it to her cheek. She needed the crystal; she needed its power to save Donnie. She needed it to grow powerful enough to help him, to make him see that this was for the greater good. The others had to see that she needed this power more than anything! It was sad that her father couldn't see that.

 _'He wants you to be a fragile little girl like everyone else does. Put him out of his misery already!'_

"Don't lecture me…I don't need it from a terrible parent like you." The voice that spoke sounded like April's, but carried a coldness that was foreign to her. It was a voice that _wasn't_ her. "I know your deepest thoughts…and you blame me for what happened to her."

Her? Despite his fight for oxygen, Kirby gasped internally when he realized what she meant. _She thinks I blame her for Beth's disappearance._ "N-No…no…April…"

"You think you can take my power away? You're just like them…you want me _weak_."

April squeezed her hand into a half-formed fist, causing Kirby to gasp and clutch at his throat. If this kept up, he would pass out. No, he would _die_. The fear he felt had to be the fear Donatello felt right before he hit the ground. This wasn't April; this wasn't his sweet, courageous April. That crystal changed her into someone else, like a demon possessing her body. How could he get his April back?

"A-April…please…"

Before Kirby could fall unconscious, he could hear a gasp as air suddenly filled his lungs. He immediately clutched his neck and savored the oxygen coming into his body again. His blue eyes hesitantly turned to April and figured the gasp came from her. Instead of the glowing eyes and evil grin, he saw wide, horrified blue eyes and mouth agape. He saw his daughter come back. And yet he also saw the crystal once again hanging around her neck.

"D-Dad, I…"

April reached out for her father, but instead of an embrace, she watched the man flinch and pull away. She thought the Turtles and Casey pulling away from her hurt enough, and now seeing her own father fear her broke her heart into pieces. Everything was going so well…why did this have to happen? Why couldn't she be stronger? Why couldn't she just go one night without the crystal and without hurting people with her powers?

Her powers…no, maybe it wasn't the crystal. Maybe it was just _her_. The other April was right…she didn't belong. She didn't need to be here anymore. If she couldn't control herself, if she just ended up strangling her own father, then what was the point of even trying to better things anymore? It wouldn't make the others forgive her for what she did to Donnie. It wouldn't make them any less afraid of her. It certainly wouldn't fix what she did to everyone.

"I-I'm sorry…"

April suddenly bolted out the door, in nothing but her pajamas, leaving Kirby reeling and trying to process what happened.

Realizing that April left the apartment, Kirby called out in a hoarse voice, "A-April!"

But she didn't come back. And he didn't know if she would come back.

* * *

 **Yeah, you know it's going bad when April psychically chokes her own dad. With April running off, somebody's going to go look for her. Well, before we have someone go look for her, we'll be having what's going on at the same time. Next up, we get a look at the nightmares Donnie's had since the incident and how it affects his perception of April now. We also see Mikey giving his eldest brothers an earful over their coping strategy and lack of help with Donnie's care. Until next time, stay tuned!**


	10. Darkness' Chokehold, Part 2

**Author's Note: I've finally got the next chapter up! This one's taking place during and right after April's little stunt. We'll be seeing some brotherly angst and the nightmare plaguing Donnie since the incident. And a little surprise at the end, too! But I want to thank everyone who's given this a review, and thank you for all the favorites and follows! As soon as this story's over, I'll be publishing my next two works: Transcendental and The Power Inside Him. I'll still be writing for the Turtle Dove series and do some one-shots, too! Anyway, be sure to enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Chapter 10: Darkness' Chokehold, Part 2

 _Meanwhile_

Michelangelo caught his reflection in the sudsy water before running a sponge over several glasses. He usually dreaded doing the dishes for any reason, but Donatello appreciated a peanut butter milkshake so much that he decided to be on clean-up duty. He helped Donnie get to bed not long ago-checking his shell and setting up the proper padding-before cleaning up the remnants of their aged blender. The cycle would repeat tomorrow; he or Splinter would get Donnie up for breakfast and check his shell all over again.

Since Donnie woke up, Leo and Raph hadn't lifted a finger to help with his care.

The thought made him angry for a moment, but his anger usually burned out into fatigued irritation. The most Leo did was donate his blood to help Donnie survive, but Raph didn't even help with the transport. He didn't believe his brothers didn't care about Donnie, yet they still let his care fall squarely on his and Splinter's shoulders. They were the ones that gave him his medicine, cleaned his shell, helped him in and out of bed, cooked his meals, and so on. Was it too much to ask that they chip in and relieve some of the weight?

 _Probably because they're too busy being mad at April._

That's right…they spent most of their time brooding over what happened. While Leo wasn't as vocal as Raph over April, Mikey could tell that the eldest brother didn't want much to do with her, either. Weird, since he easily forgave Karai over the things she did in the past. And Raph didn't have much trouble forgiving Slash when he tried to kill them all. Maybe he was just too forgiving, but if April made the effort to right her wrongs, what right did they have to stay bitter? It wasn't like they helped the situation, anyway.

Leo always told her 'ninjas only'. Raph always told her she wasn't good enough. They ignored her freaky behavior with the crystal. Now they weren't helping their wounded brother. It was time he put his foot down. And as turtle luck would have it…

"Hey, Mikey, what're you doing up this late?"

Mikey stiffened at Leo's innocent question. The second set of steps told him Raph followed shortly behind. He didn't know where they'd been, and he honestly didn't care right now. They just waltzed in like they didn't have a care in the world. Mikey put the sponge down harder than intended with a slam of his hand, and he could sense the two elder brothers jump.

"Mikey, are you okay?" Leo asked quietly.

"And where's Donnie?" Raph cut in.

The turtle in orange hunched his shoulders up, but didn't bother to turn and look at them. Instead, he replied in a harsh murmur, "Went to bed. You guys kept an eye on him while I was gone, didn't you?" He paused to add dramatic effect, then added, "Oh, wait, you didn't…you were busy 'training' and put it all on me again."

"Wait, you were gone?" Leo suddenly asked, which caught Mikey off-guard. "I thought you were in your room or playing games!"

"If he was, I would've seen 'im." Raph interrupted, the tone in his voice showing his lack of interest in the situation. "Figured he was skateboarding or somethin'. Donnie seemed okay on his own."

Raph's tone-the same he used when he ordered pizza-broke something in Mikey. His hand suddenly slammed down on the kitchen counter before he swiftly turned to face his older brothers. They always lectured him on stuff, but now it was his turn and they wouldn't dare try to walk away or brush him off. "I've had it! Sensei and I've been taking care of Donnie since he woke up, and you two haven't even lifted a finger to help! You just assume, 'oh, they've got it, so we can do what we want'! I thought ALL members of the family had to step up when one got hurt to show them they CARE!"

Leo frowned and shot back, "Of course we care, Mikey! We just assumed you didn't need any help-"

"No! I know why you shoved it all on me! It's because you thought it was all my fault!" Mikey immediately countered before Leo could finish his feeble defense. Every bit of anger he kept buried beneath since the incident came out in a massive pop of the cork. "I got a newsflash for you, Leo: we're all at fault for what April did!"

Leo visibly tensed up at the mention of April, and Raph instantly balled his hands into fists. But Mikey didn't care if they were getting angry; he felt he earned the right to feel angry right now. "I can understand Donnie right now, but I'm willing to forgive her if it means he'll get better. But you guys don't even want to mention her name around here!" An accusatory finger pointed towards Leo. "Mr. Ninjas Only never wanted her around and always made her feel like she didn't matter! Oh, but you wouldn't dare say that to your girlfriend! And you were more than willing to forgive her for trying to kill us, and you helped her almost get _us_ killed, just so you can make her like you!"

"Mikey-"

"And let's not forget how you gave Donnie a hard time over her! You told him he wasn't trying hard enough to cure that brain worm! He was working without sleep while you sat on your butt and did nothing! Who's the one not trying hard enough, Leo!?"

The leader in blue had a retort ready, but his baby brother calling out his hypocrisy made him visibly shrink. At least Leo had the decency to feel guilty, which garnered some sympathy from Mikey. But he wouldn't let that show just yet, because it was Raph's turn. "And _you_! You always told her she wasn't good enough; always made her feel like she never belonged! Yet you easily forgive Slash for trying to kill us-kill Donnie-and you forgave Mona Lisa just 'cause she said she loves you!"

Raph growled out, "Shut up Mikey-"

"And you were the one who always told Donnie he wasn't good enough! Who went out to look for your sorry butt only to get caught by Don Vizioso!? Who almost got killed trying to rescue Mr. O'Neil 'cause you said he was 'sadorable'!? Who was the first guy Slash went after 'cause _you_ couldn't keep your mouth shut!?" To further the point, Mikey hammered down, "Who did _you_ pick as the easy target!?"

"I said shut up-"

Mikey wouldn't let Raph have an edge this time, and all the anger he harbored towards his hot-tempered brother and the situation as a whole came out in one precise strike. "I bet you _wanted_ April to kill Donnie! Then you wouldn't be saddled with an 'uncool' brother the rest of your life! You're mad at her 'cause she didn't finish the job-"

A fist connected with Mikey's cheek and sent him to the floor. Seconds later, Leo fought to hold Raph back before the turtle in red could beat Mikey to a pulp. Raph only saw red in his vision and sought to hit the one thing that fueled his anger at the moment. Mikey saying this was his fault too was one thing, but flat out accusing him of wanting Donnie to die? His baby brother hit a new low on that one. He would make sure Mikey _never_ accused him of such a thing again, even if it meant knocking several teeth out or fracturing his skull-

"YAME!"

Leo found himself on his butt as a long arm swooped in and struck Raph in the neck. The turtle in red seized and visibly winced, letting go of his bloodied brother and dropping to the floor in seconds. Leo immediately swooped in and picked Mikey up, wiping stray blood from his nose and cheek, carefully watching Splinter standing over the stunned Raphael. It only took seconds for the pressure-point paralysis to wear off and Raph to try and seize Mikey again. However, Splinter wouldn't have any of it and held him back.

"Raphael, please explain why you decided to assault Michelangelo." Splinter demanded in an even tone, too even to allow his sons to be calm. "Also explain why you and Leonardo left Donatello alone hours earlier."

Raph completely ignored both questions with a guttural growl. He felt too angry to give any comprehensible words, let alone an explanation. Especially since he had to listen to the garbage coming from Mikey's mouth and no one defended him. Leo didn't stick up for him; just stood there feeling sorry for himself after Mikey chewed him out. Now Splinter threw him under the bus…

"I'm not gonna…not gonna stand here…" Raph gritted out, getting to his feet and glaring daggers at his baby brother. "…and let 'im say…that I wanted Donnie dead-"

Raph cut himself off when he heard a scream. He knew it came from no one present in the kitchen, and the direction of the noise meant it came from the bedroom hall. He saw Mikey immediately spring from Leo's grasp and dash for one room in particular…

* * *

 _Donatello ran as fast as he could through the streets of New York. He glanced behind him for a split-second and found the pavement cracking with ghostly-blue light. He ran faster, hoping to get away from his pursuer, ignoring the blue light coming closer and closer until it was a hair away from his shell. That was when he realized his shell wasn't damaged and he could run, but just the feeling of the light behind him made his shell burn. He had to get away before it got him._

 _Donnie suddenly stopped when the ground in front of him exploded in bright light and concrete debris. He shielded his face with his arms before daring to look at what came from below. Then he saw her slowly rising, arms spread out as though she was some great deity. Her eyes glowed that ghostly-blue light that made her appear angelic…but there was nothing angelic about her. He knew he looked into the light that only brought death and destruction._

 _"You can't run anymore, Donnie. You can NEVER run from me."_

 _The turtle in purple took a frightened step back before running in the opposite direction. He had to find his brothers and Splinter before she got them, too. He just had to get to the manhole cover and he would be safe for a moment. He saw the manhole cover just ahead…and then saw who stood on it. He immediately skidded to a stop and backed away again._

 _"April…why are you doing this?" Donnie asked, fear and confusion heavy in his tone. "Why do you want to hurt me this much?"_

 _April narrowed her glowing eyes. "You really don't know what you did, Donnie?"_

 _Donnie only shook his head feverishly and replied, "No, I don't! I didn't do anything to you!"_

 _He realized quick that his answer didn't sit well with April as she raised a hand to him. Instead of a smack to the face, he found himself levitating off the ground in-sync with April's hand. His limbs immediately flailed in the air, hoping in vain he could break free of her psychic control. This was just like that night…that night when April tried to kill him. Why did she do it, if not over the crystal? Why did he have to relive this?_

 _April opened his mouth, and he got the answer to one of his questions._

 _"You RUINED my life!"_

 _Donnie suddenly found himself careening off a car when April swung her arm. It felt just like the night the chemical plant explosion threw him into a car and knocked him unconscious. This time, though, he remained awake to feel the pain of the collision. But from the way he floated back up and the angry expression on April's face, she wasn't done._

 _"This is for keeping me trapped in the lair because of your 'sister'!" She slammed him into a telephone pole with a loud CRACK._

 _She then threw him into the side of a brick building, watching him drop to the ground. "This is for mutating my FATHER!"_

 _Donnie panting and twitching didn't faze her in the least. Instead, she levitated him again and sent him into a small water tower on a neighboring building. "Have this for your stupid pursuit of my affections!" With Donnie embedded in the tank, she laughed coldly and added, "Why would I ever love a freak of nature like you?"_

 _The turtle panted and wanted to scream in pain, but the shock of April's revelations stunned him into silence. Was this how April really felt about him? Did she really believe he ruined her life just for being around her? For all those accidents they had no control over? Then to hear her mock his feelings towards her made his heart shatter. The crystal did a good job of bringing out what was buried beneath, he realized._

 _"Now have this…for treating me like a helpless princess!" April raised her hand and threw him into a billboard._

 _Donnie, now bloodied and shaking, raised his head to the angry redhead. He didn't know why he even bothered as he felt emotionally defeated. Despite his resignation to April hating him, he found himself pleading, "A-April…please…stop this…"_

 _It was too late. Donnie found himself in a familiar position: suddenly raising high in the air with his shell facing the pavement. He opened his mouth to scream, but found he could only whimper pitifully. He managed to turn his head enough to see April's expression, seeing a cold smirk and narrowed eyes drinking in his terror. For a brief moment, he thought he saw the image of a black creature overlapping April's form. That creature…it couldn't be._

 _"And this…"_

 _"A-April, please…"_

 _"This…is for being born!"_

 _Donnie screamed as he plummeted to the pavement. His screams ceased the moment he heard the cracking sound of his shell mixed with voices frantically calling his name._

* * *

"Donnie!"

Mikey burst into the bedroom to find Donnie screaming and thrashing in his bed. The turtle in orange immediately went to grab his brother and calm him down, but Donnie had enough strength to throw him off. Leo, Raph, and Splinter arrived just in time to see Mikey thrown to the floor, which prompted the eldest turtle to step in. Fueled by guilt and Donnie's frantic screams, he rushed over and suddenly embraced his genius brother.

"Donnie…Donnie, it's okay." Leo whispered, holding Donnie firm despite his struggling. "It's just a nightmare, you're okay."

"N-No…no…" Donnie shook his head against Leo's shoulder. "A-April…she…a-always h-hated me…"

Leo wanted to tell him that wasn't true, but feared doing so would agitate Donnie further. It was when he placed his hand on Donnie's shell that he noticed how damp the bandages were. When he pulled his hand back, he found faint traces of blood on his fingertips. Once again, Donnie's struggling agitated his shell. He put aside the idea of scolding and just kept holding his brother. He could feel tears threatening to escape while he gently rocked Donnie.

"…I'm so sorry, Donnie. I'm so sorry…"

Leo apologized for both the pain Donnie went through and for neglecting him in favor of his own self-pity. He could feel Mikey join in the embrace and offer Donnie comfort from his nightmare. He could hear Mikey murmur, "You're gonna be okay, D."

For a moment, they could hear Donnie mumble, "A…eon…"

Splinter glanced to his side and found Raph biting his lip in anger, fingers digging into the skin of his biceps. However, he could also see tears threatening to spill from his green eyes. Before he could address his hot-tempered son, he suddenly heard the sound of the Cheese Phone in his room and rushed to answer it. That left Raph alone to watch his three brothers in a pile on Donnie's bed, unwilling to participate. Not because he cared little of how Donnie felt, but because Mikey's accusations still burned in his mind…how it all summed up to him being the reason Donnie got hurt. If he stepped in and tried to comfort Donnie, he would just make things worse like usual.

Splinter returned, this time with a grave expression on his face. It was right when he returned that Raph suddenly bolted to his room and slammed the door. The rat could hear faint sobs coming from his son's room, but would check on him in a moment. Right now, he had to reveal the hard truth to those present…even Donatello.

"…That was Kirby." Splinter muttered. "April…April used her powers to strangle him and regain the crystal."

Leo and Mikey immediately paled, and they could feel Donnie start shaking again at the mention of April. Mikey especially felt a pit in his stomach; he thought April had improved since their talk earlier. The crystal had a greater hold on her than they realized, and perhaps simple talks wouldn't be enough now. But now that Donnie heard that April harmed her own father…

"Sh-She's dangerous…" Donnie murmured over and over. "S-She's evil…i-it's made her e-evil…"

"A-April's not evil, Donnie. She's just really messed up right now." Mikey insisted in a whisper. "She's just-"

"Don't defend her!" Donnie retaliated. "S-She cares more about that crystal than us! O-Or her own dad!"

Leo let go of Donnie and asked, "Is April still there?"

Splinter only shook his head, replying in a low voice, "No…when she released her hold on Kirby, she disappeared from the apartment. There is no telling where she is now."

Mikey immediately wanted to go and find April, but wondered if another talk would do any good. That and he knew Raph ran to his room with tear-filled eyes. Guilt over his earlier words gnawed away at him. But he also had to comfort Donnie, too. He was torn on what to prioritize until…

"I'll go find her."

Leo volunteering to look for April caught them off-guard. He and Raph were the most hesitant to make amends with her besides Donnie. Was there an ulterior motive for Leo to volunteer, or did he truly want to make peace to help Donnie and April both? The others watched Leo get up and head for the door, not knowing what could happen. Before he could get to the hall, Leo felt a firm hand on his shoulder and his father looking at him with worry.

"…Be careful, my son. She is in a volatile emotional state."

The leader in blue only nodded and went about his way. He made sure to grab his swords before leaving in case anything went down. Once he left, Splinter and Mikey were left to comfort and doctor the petrified Donatello, hopefully getting him back to sleep.

But they couldn't shake the fact that he muttered what sounded like 'Aeon'.

* * *

 **And that's the end of this chapter! As you guessed, next is our one-on-one with April and Leo. I hope I didn't tear anyone up too bad, and I apologize for Mikey coming off pretty harsh. But stress and pent-up anger can make your thinking less-than-clear. And now we see that Donnie has some sort of clue as to what's influencing April. Perhaps he got a glimpse during the incident? We'll find out later! Just be sure to stay tuned for the next chapter!**


	11. Ninjas Only (?)

**Author's Note: Whew, I apologize for a lack of updates! I've been busy doing a little Christmas drabble challenge on Tumblr. I know I said I'm attempting to finish this story by the end of the year, and I may still try to go for that deadline. I'll have a whole week off from work, so I'll be kicking it into overdrive! Anyway, we finally get the long-awaited talk between April and Leo, and the two realize how similar they really are. So be prepared, and as always, read and review!**

* * *

Chapter 11: Ninjas Only (?)

Leonardo didn't know what he hoped to find on the rooftops. He added up the time since he got to the first stop and realized an hour had passed. An hour of searching, and still no sign of April.

He named her possible locations in his mind while he jumped. Staying at Casey's? No, Casey remained wary and Mr. Jones would be spying on them. Probably not with Karai, and he wouldn't dare wake her just to ask, lest he face her sleep-deprived wrath. Probably not with the Mutanimals, either; she wasn't exactly close with them. There was no way she had the cash to check into a motel, either. Then his mind went to a dark place: what if she left the city? For all he knew, she took the first night bus to Northampton and wouldn't come back.

Or worse, what if she used those psychic powers to teleport somewhere?

He couldn't give up now. For the first time since the incident, Leo hoped she was okay. While his resentment was minimal compared to Raph's, he still didn't trust or completely forgive April. Mikey's words still rang fresh in his mind; how he pushed April aside in favor of Karai. True, he did a lot of stupid things when Karai was involved, but he also made sure his family came first.

He made too many mistakes in trusting Karai in the past. He wouldn't let it happen again with April.

Then he looked to the rooftop of the old Wolf Hotel building and saw an odd shape. From his distance, it appeared to be a young woman sitting in a fetal position. He cautiously dashed closer, careful not to disturb the shape, and saw that familiar shade of red hair. It was April in nothing but her pajamas, curled into a ball on the cold rooftops. His heart went out to her, but he also knew to be cautious. After all, first she injured Donnie…and now she injured her own father.

But April didn't seem dangerous at the moment. If anything, her rigid body told him she was horrified and wishing to be alone. Leaving her alone would be wise for the moment, but even he knew leaving April alone was the last thing she needed. It was time to push aside any resentment and paranoia and just _talk_ to her.

When he finally reached the rooftop, he cleared his throat and called out an uncertain, "April?"

"L-Leo?" The redhead turned towards his voice, but quickly hid her face in her knees. "…You know what I did, don't you? Just go away, Leo…you shouldn't be near me…"

Leo wanted to take her advice right then and there. But he once again remembered Mikey's words accusing him of not trying hard enough. He remembered Splinter's words to work towards healing…even if it meant forgiving her. With a shake of his head, he replied, "I can't do that, April. I just want to talk to you. We…we need to get some things sorted out."

 _'Oh,_ now _he decides to acknowledge you? But he claims that you're not a ninja. He'll just keep putting you down to prop himself up.'_

April didn't buy it, only curling into a tighter ball and refusing to budge. "…What's the point anymore, Leo? First I hurt Donnie, now my dad…who else am I going to loose my powers on? What if I actually do kill someone?"

Leo suddenly found himself at a mental crossroads. Should he tell her that she would never kill anyone no matter what? Or should he tell her she could kill someone if she kept letting herself lose control? Then there was the matter of pointing out the crystal without sending her into a rage. No…he didn't need to sugarcoat anything. It was time to stop doing nothing and pushing it on someone else. That was why Donnie was in his current shape…

"Only if you keep letting yourself lose control. And if you keep letting that crystal have a hold over you." Leo could see April's eyes widen and her hands coil around the alien stone. He didn't have to have Donnie's observational skills to know her addiction steadily grew worse. But whether she wanted to or not, she needed to hear his piece. "But I know things I did contributed to you using that."

April's features immediately softened. Good…he had her listening. Even he figured out that Mikey talked to April, given that he actually left the lair and left Donnie with them. If Mikey and Karai managed to talk to her, he could, too. "I haven't exactly been in the best frame of mind since the Kraang invasion. You saw how I started acting after I woke up…how I changed for the worse."

"I certainly do remember the 'ninjas only' comments and the Karai obsession." April deadpanned.

Leo frowned when reminded of his comments and his behavior concerning Karai, but knew he had to concede to her point. "I'll be honest, April, that I said that to you because, in my mind, I was keeping you out of danger. And, well…I also said it because I didn't want you putting yourself or us in danger."

April frowned, so the turtle in blue decided to bring back a certain memory. "It started on that night you found out you were half-Kraang. You know, when we broke into the TCRI building. No matter how many times we told you to stay put, you followed us anyway and got captured." He let out a chuckle, but there was no humor behind it. "I should've been impressed by your persistence, but I really felt like you were willing to endanger yourself and us just so you could get a piece of the action. It was beyond reckless…it was _stupid_."

The redhead's shoulders slumped when she remembered that night. All she wanted was to prove she was ready for the big missions while still in-training. Looking back on it now, she agreed with Leo that what she did was indeed stupid. She even took her frustrations out on Donnie when he only wanted to protect her…and they ended up having to fight clones of her because she refused to listen to directions. She still felt that Leo didn't have to tell her 'ninjas only'…but now she understood how he felt.

"Is that just one of the reasons you had preference for Karai?" April dared ask.

Leo sighed and took a seat next to her. He couldn't help but feel gooseflesh appear on his arms when in the mere presence of the crystal. It was as if some unseen thing watched him with a searing gaze. He played it off to paranoia just a moment later. "The thing with Karai is…complicated, to put it lightly. Like I said before, I wasn't in my right mind after the invasion. Even after everything else that's happened-the battles we managed to win-I can't ever forget my greatest failure. I can't forget it, and no one will let me forget it."

"Leo, that's not true. We weren't prepared for that." April insisted, breaking out of her ball and staring at him with concerned blue eyes. "If anything…the invasion was my fault. I was the one who brought Kraang Subprime to the lair, after all…"

"To be fair, nothing went right that day. Even now, I feel guilty about it, and I know Donnie does, too." He could see April shrink at the mention of Donnie, so he decided to change the subject slightly and get back on focus. "After we found Splinter, I could see that he felt empty without Karai there. You don't know how many days he spent in his room just meditating…we'd go without seeing him. In some ways, I thought he blamed me for her mutation. So I made it my mission to bring her back and help Splinter feel whole again. And…"

April knew where this was going, but wanted to hear it from Leo's own mouth. "What's the other reason?"

Leo sighed, finally relenting and saying, "I wanted to save her so she would like me. I tried to do what Donnie did in the beginning with you…I thought if I pushed enough and did things to make me look cool in front of her, she'd have to like me back."

He suddenly looked down and began picking at the peeling leather on his knee guards. "But I can't do that…for one, we're technically siblings, and I can't make her like me. Especially if it resulted in putting my family in danger. You saw how I treated Donnie and everyone else when she was brainwashed. I told him his best wasn't good enough, I made a mutant that nearly destroyed the city, I got Donnie blown up over her…"

April's face fell over Leo's confession. If she wasn't so keen on self-loathing and listening to him, she would've told him point-blank that Karai brought out the worst in him. But even she knew he still felt guilt for that night at the factory. Then she realized on that night, she threw it back in his face and actually _enjoyed_ it. A wave of nausea hit her stomach when she remembered she took glee in tearing all of them down, especially Leo and Raph. The only person willing to silence her was Donnie, and he paid the price for standing up.

"I ended up taking my frustrations out on everyone…especially you. I thought I was just protecting you by telling you 'ninjas only', but I was just punishing you for your recklessness; that you weren't Karai. Then I ended up being the pot calling the kettle black…" Leo snorted and balled his hands into fists, sickened by his own hypocrisy and admission of it. "I'm a total joke and Donnie's paying for it…"

 _'See? He's going on and on about himself, making his own little pity party. It's always about the Great and Powerful Leonardo. Just shove that pride of his into his face and show him how pathetic he is in your graces. He's afraid of you becoming more powerful than him-"_

April suddenly looked up, frowning. "...You learned from it, didn't you? Unlike me, you've actually learned from your mistakes."

Leo found himself taken aback. "What're you talking about?"

The redhead merely shrugged, refusing to raise her head up and look him in the eyes out of shame. "That night of the factory explosion, you actually learned to stop letting a crush get the better of you. You learned not to let it all go to your head. Me? I never learned to stop being reckless; I just kept going and going until it came back to bite me."

Suddenly, after a pause, April confessed, "Donnie paid for your mistakes…and he always paid for mine, too. I guess we're not that different."

The turtle in blue took the moment to think of April's statement. Donnie usually took the brunt of anything bad happening that involved April. The night Kirby mutated, while April didn't want to see any of them again, the look in her eyes implied she put the blame squarely on Donnie's shoulders. When she found out she was half-Kraang, she especially grew tense around Donnie as he was the one to reveal the truth. When lured into those dreadful traps, Karai used April's voice to lower Donnie's defenses. It brought back a fear he had long ago: April would be the death of Donnie.

He was no different, though. Donnie often suffered the brunt of his foolish actions, especially when it involved his obsession with Karai. Donnie only rushed into that trap because of his cruel words. He caused Donnie to get the blame of Pulverizer's mutation because he wanted to keep using him as a go-between. Donnie was the one to fall unconscious when saving the others from the factory explosion, but only because Leo led them to danger. That brought to light a new fear: HE would be the one to cause Donnie's untimely demise. If April didn't first, that is.

Leo's reply was weak. "…I guess not."

How would they go from here? This sort of understanding gave Leo a reason to forgive April, but he still couldn't trust her. Of course, perhaps he was still the pot calling the kettle black. But he learned the hard way that from now on, his brothers and father came first. He wouldn't let some fantasy cloud his judgment and endanger them again. He still hoped that April would learn this lesson, too…he just hated that she would learn under these circumstances.

"Where are you going to stay?" He asked suddenly. "Going back to the apartment would be pretty awkward."

"Yeah…and the lair's not an option, either." April knew that going to the lair would cause Donnie to have another meltdown, especially if he knew what she just did. Raph wouldn't approve, either. "I could stay with the Mutanimals…or I can bunk with Karai. Either way, it's not going to be a warm welcome."

Leo didn't like the thought of Karai suffering one of April's psychic outbursts. The Mutanimals were indifferent towards April, too, and Slash was a close confidant of Raph's. No matter the risks, one option would be better. "…I'll talk with Karai. She should have plenty of room at Foot HQ. I'm sure you two made amends, anyway."

Another shrug, and April murmured, "Yeah…"

"And April?" When she finally turned back to him, he softly replied, "I'm sorry for making you feel you weren't good enough. I've…always thought of you as family, and I'm sorry I hadn't shown you that lately."

Tears suddenly flooded her eyes. While she wanted to give Leo a hug then and there, she didn't want to make things any worse. So she offered a feeble nod and a weak, "…I'm sorry for putting you guys in danger so much. You've done so much for me, and I just keep messing up…"

"Well…none of us are perfect, are we?"

Leo couldn't help but feel a chill when he felt something grow angry…

* * *

"Donatello? May I speak with you for a moment, my son?"

Donatello raised himself slightly from the pillows and turned towards his father's voice. He had been awake for a few hours and couldn't bring himself to fall back to sleep. The way Splinter asked the question told him what the subject would be…one he didn't really want to talk about. But Splinter was one to not stop until he got the truth. "…What's wrong, Sensei?"

Splinter quietly sat down in the chair placed next to the bed and looked at his son. The dark circles forming under his eyes told him how many nights he had that nightmare. His heart immediately broke for his son and he cursed himself for not acting sooner. Why couldn't he possess a mantra to eliminate nightmares or heal his shell?

"Donatello…I want to ask you something concerning your nightmares." Splinter saw his genius son tense up, but knew he couldn't coddle him in this process. "You made mention of these Aeon creatures…did you see one in your nightmares?"

Donnie immediately gulped and looked down. The mere thought caused a sting in his shell and his skin to pale. He could still remember those _things_ and the evil literally oozing out of that planet, and that the same influence perhaps made its way to Earth. "I-I don't know, Sensei. I just…every time April attacked me, it was like she started taking the shape of…o-one of those things. Like…like she's literally turned _evil_."

"Do you suppose April has become corrupted as the Aeons were corrupted?" Splinter asked.

"I…they became corrupted when without that Soul Star. April…she's been corrupted with power. S-She's so power-hungry, she's…s-she's willing to attack her own f-father."

"Donatello-"

Donnie suddenly shouted, "I-If that's how it'll be…th-then I don't know if I ever want to see her again. S-She's probably too far gone…"

To hear Donatello condemn the girl he once shouted praises over troubled Splinter. The painful injury to his shell, the recurring nightmares, and the sudden attack on Kirby didn't help in returning his positive perception of April. Was it possible April would relapse beyond the point of return? He prayed that Leo would give her ample reason to forsake the crystal and amend her wrongs. But even with positive results from his eldest son, there still presented a challenge. An obstacle.

Raphael.

* * *

 **And that's the end of this chapter! Boy, thing's aren't looking good on Donnie's end, so let's pray for a happy ending to all this. Next up, and it'll probably be a two-parter, we'll finally get the confrontation between Raph and April. And after Mikey's scathing words, I think Raph'll have plenty to say on what's been a driving force with his frustrations with April, even before the incident. And I've been working on the first chapters of my new stories and I'm going to rewrite stuff on another story: Deadly Nightshade. Also be on the lookout for updates on Turtle Dove!**


	12. Temperamental, Part 1

**Author's Note: Whew, finally got rid of some writer's block and updated this! This chapter's shorter compared to the others, but it's because I wanted to break it up into two parts. But we'll finally be getting the moment we've waited for: the one-on-one between April and Raph! But first, we'll be dealing with Raph suffering the impact of Mikey's angry words, a private discussion between Karai and Shinigami, and April growing fed up with the thoughts spewing venom at her loved ones. As always, be sure to read and review!**

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Chapter 12: Temperamental, Part 1

"Raph? Can we talk?"

Michelangelo didn't know how many times he knocked on the door, but he wouldn't stop knocking until he got an answer. When Leonardo left to track down April, Splinter decided he would watch over Donatello for the night. That was code for asking the genius turtle about his nightmares. He decided he would take the challenge of talking to Raphael…but after everything he said to him, he wouldn't blame his older brother for giving him the silent treatment.

He basically accused Raph of wanting Donnie dead, after all.

Mikey rubbed his hand over his face when he still had no answer. He was just stressed out from taking care of Donnie. He just got tired of Leo and Raph sitting on the sidelines and not lifting a finger. He just snapped and said what he knew would hurt them deeply. He could remember the pained look on Leo's face when he reminded him of his dirty laundry; how he mistreated Donnie when it came to Karai. But he didn't mean to go that far with Raph.

"Raph…please answer me." Mikey begged with a sniffle, leaning his forehead against the door. "I didn't mean what I said. I was…I was just mad and took it out on you guys. I would never think-"

"Don't, Mikey." Raph's voice finally resonated from behind the door. Instead of his usual gruff temper, fatigue and hopelessness coated his tone. That wasn't the Raph he knew. "You've said enough…"

Mikey's heart dropped at those three words. "Raph, please-"

"Just leave me alone, Mikey!"

The turtle in orange jumped back at Raph's sudden ferocity. A moment passed, then he could hear him murmur out a defeated, "Just…leave me alone."

That was enough for Mikey's hand to slide off the doorknob. The damage was already done, and he didn't know if it could be undone. It was no different than calling Raph a murderer, the way he saw it. He wished he'd paid attention to Splinter's 'words can be weapons' lesson, but when was the last time he really paid attention to something so important? Maybe he needed to leave before he said something else he regretted…

As for Raph, he sat quietly and listened to make sure Mikey went away. He didn't want his brother to see how much those words affected him…or how much Donnie's suffering affected him. He didn't want Mikey to see him sitting on his bed in the fetal position. Once he knew his baby brother left, he closed his eyes and fought the whimpers flooding from his throat. He thought on Donnie's panic and his fears that _she_ hated him all along. Raph wanted to be angry and throw something, but his whole body felt like lead and prevented him from doing so.

He thought again on Mikey's words, essentially calling him on his hypocrisy as he did Leo. He felt small satisfaction at Leo being called out for playing favorites with Karai, even when everyone else got hurt. But then it came back on him, calling out his favoritism with Slash and even Mona Lisa. He easily forgave the former for trying to kill them after one or two heroic acts, and he easily forgave the latter for selling them out to Dregg when the word 'love' came out. But when it came to April, her screw-ups barely prompted forgiveness from him.

Because every time she so much as lifted a finger, Donnie paid for it.

 _I wish we never rescued April…_

But he knew if they hadn't rescued April, the Kraang would've already terraformed the Earth. Raph knew that she didn't deserve to be dissected or lobotomized by those alien gum wads. She even saved them with those psychic blasts more than enough times. So refusing to rescue April or her dad would've just made them look worse than the Kraang or Shredder. If it hadn't been for Donnie's insistence that they save her, they wouldn't have saved the world more than once. So he couldn't say he actually hated April as a person.

He just hated the way she treated Donnie…ever since the night her dad mutated.

It was why he was so protective of Leo when Karai came into the picture. It was why he often told Donnie to give up his pursuit of April. He wasn't going to sit by and let his brothers be used and abused because they had weak hearts. The difference, though, was that Leo had an easier time bouncing back…Donnie didn't. Raph always acted tough, but that didn't mean he wasn't sensitive, be it on his behalf or his brothers'.

He knew if Leo found April, they were probably having their own one-one-one talk. It didn't take long for him to figure out Mikey did, too. It wouldn't have taken much for Casey to get his feelings out, either. And if he was correct, Karai and April had their girl talk. He knew they all counted on him to either make or break this…not for April, but for Donnie. He knew right away the best way to help Donnie was for April to understand how he felt.

But that would wait until the time was right.

* * *

 _The next day_

April didn't know how to process this new room. It obviously wasn't the type of room a typical teenage girl owned. Instead of the patterned bedsheets or messy dresser or posters of bands, the room looked bare save for the tatami bed and wooden chest. Obviously the bedroom made for a Foot grunt.

"I know it's not fancy, but it's still habitable. We can find some things to put in here to make it more appealing."

The redhead turned to Karai and slowly shook her head. "No, it's fine. It'll actually be better for clearing my head…"

Karai leaned up against the doorway and wore a look of indifference. Inside, she still had to process everything Leonardo told her just hours before. April seemed to be doing better, and now she went and almost killed her own dad. As cheesy as it sounded, Karai wanted to go to the lair and hug her own father for hours the moment Leo gave her the news. Reluctantly, she agreed to let April stay at the Foot HQ building until things could calm down. But she wasn't stupid; things would never calm down until April finally got rid of that crystal.

April broke Karai's indifference when she took notice of the charms placed on the wall, courtesy of Shinigami. With a look of irritation, she asked, "…Are those really necessary?"

"They're a precaution." Karai corrected coolly. "Given the circumstances, you'd agree."

April conceded to her point and lowered her head. "…Right."

An awkward pause stood between them, until Karai pushed herself from the doorway and headed out. "…Make yourself at home."

Karai closed the door with a sigh and made her trek back to the throne room. Honestly, she wanted to put a little distance between herself and April right now. She took one glance at that alien crystal and could feel something _growling_ at her. Did those Aeon creatures know that there was something wrong with that crystal, or were they just as ignorant? But there was something Leo told her that intrigued her. She remembered the claim he made over the phone that April suddenly 'couldn't live with the crystal, couldn't live without the crystal'. That was his impression, at least.

"The charms are still in place?"

The kunoichi looked and saw Shinigami standing in the hall, gloved arms crossed in an interrogative stance. Even someone as playful as her knew when to be serious. "They're secure, Shini. But we'll still keep on guard."

Karai paused to collect her thoughts, but surprised herself when she asked her friend, "Shini…is it possible for disembodied spirits to switch between possessing an object and a person?"

The witch blinked, taken aback by Karai's sudden interest in the supernatural. While Karai respected her own indulgence in it, she was never engrossed in it. Her sudden interest made Shinigami grow cautious. "It can be possible. The object in question often serves as a conduit between the spirit and the vessel. If not possessing the person through the object, a spirit can use the object to influence the person's thoughts and emotions." Amber eyes locked with brown, and she asked, "…You're also thinking this is the case with April?"

Instead of answering the question, Karai asked yet another question. "So if the person and object are separated, would the spirit take hold of the person to get it back?"

"If totally attached to the object, the spirit simply calls out to the person to get it back. But…it's also possible for the spirit to move between them…or that the spirit has been slowly implanting itself into the person in question. In that case, the object is kept to maintain the spirit's hold over the victim."

Karai's eyes narrowed. If April truly was being taken over by some spirit-a spirit turning her against friends and family-then they had to find a way to destroy that crystal. If that wasn't possible, then Shinigami would get to have her chance at performing an exorcism. But could an exorcism work on some alien spirit?

"…We should tell Father about this just in case we need assistance."

They were blissfully unaware of something listening in on their conversation. And that something responded with a low, guttural growl.

* * *

 _Some days later_

April couldn't sleep that night.

No matter how she positioned herself, the tatami bed still felt like sleeping on a slab of rock. It shouldn't be this uncomfortable, and she shouldn't feel like a slab of rock herself. She kept thinking of how wrong everything was right now. This wasn't her bed. This wasn't her room or her apartment. She wanted to go home and see her Dad. She wanted to go to the lair and train with Master Splinter. She wanted to go see Donnie-

 _'Why do you keep thinking about him? He's always wanted you powerless!'_

 _'I don't feel like hearing any of this tonight.'_

 _'And your father…those turtles and their rat father…that vigilante primate…even those two girls…they ALL want you powerless! Now they want to exorcise you! They think you're insane!'_

 _'I said I DON'T want to hear it!'_

 _'Now you doubt my words? I've never lied to you! I'm the only one you can trust right now…they have such little trust in you they put charms in the room! To protect themselves! It would be in your best interest to strengthen yourself and make them cower in your presence-'_

April suddenly shot up from the mat and shouted, "Leave me ALONE!"

There was no one present besides her. The room remained empty; Karai and Shinigami didn't even come in response to her shout. The only thing out-of-place was a dull glow coming from the crystal. Instead of pulling it off her neck and tossing it to the other side of the room, April draped herself with a tossed-aside blanket and left the bare room. She had to get out before she went crazy.

But where would she go? The best place to go when one needed to clear their head: the rooftop.

After scaling quite a few floors and opening a window in the massive throne room, April made it to the edge of the Foot HQ rooftop. She couldn't believe this place used to be a cathedral, and cathedrals were supposed to be places of sanctuary. But she didn't feel any peace or safety anymore. No matter what she did, those thoughts-that voice-wouldn't leave her alone. It used to be so kind, and now it spoke vile words. She slowly started realizing that she was being turned against her loved ones…hurting them because she believed those words.

Was she really so desperate for strength that she _willingly_ hurt Donnie and her dad?

Was it really her doing and saying those awful things that night? Did something possess her?

No…she chose to believe the awful things the thoughts told her about Donnie and everyone else. Now he had to pay for her lust for power.

 _Why is this happening to me?_

April wanted to cry her eyes out and wish she could disappear. However, she also suffered a case of turtle luck, as crying wouldn't solve things and she had to stop taking the easy way out. That was what hurt Donnie in the first place. Instead, she opted to climb to another section of the rooftop and stare in the direction of the lair. She wondered if everyone else thought about her anymore…

She suddenly stopped with a yelp when she came face-to-face with _him_. Of all the people to run into, she ran into the last person who wanted anything to do with her.

"Well…look what th' cat dragged out."

April gulped and stared into those fierce green eyes. If he came here ready to sock her in the face or disown her, she wouldn't fight back. She'd take it if it meant Donnie would be all right. It didn't shake off the shock that he was here. Could it be that he actually came looking for her despite his earlier declarations?

"R-Raph…"

Raph offered no sort of comfort for April, nor did he make any attempts to yell or scream at her. That would all be a waste of energy and it wouldn't benefit Donnie in the long-run. No, he had something else in mind; something she wouldn't dare refuse in her right mind. If they still had common interests, then they would both do this with full cooperation. What mattered most and always was helping Donnie heal physically and emotionally…even though it meant buckling down and making peace.

"It'd be in your best interest to sit down and listen to what I say, 'cause we've got a LOT to get figured out."

* * *

 **Part 1 is finished! As I said, this is in two parts, because Raph's got a lot to say to April! We've also gotten a glimpse as to why Raph's been so hard on Donnie and Leo over April and Karai, and why he's especially unforgiving towards the former. But he'll be explaining that to April in the next chapter. Then after that, April will finally have her confrontation with the source of all the drama: what lies inside the crystal. So until then, stay tuned for the next installment!**


	13. Temperamental, Part 2

**Author's Note: Surprised I have the next chapter up already? Well, I started writing and I just couldn't stop (and it helps that I've got the week off from work)! Now we have the long-awaited talk between Raph and April, and boy does he have a lot to tell her! Plus, we have a twist ending to this chapter, leading up to the climax of our story and getting us closer to the end! As always, read and give reviews!**

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Chapter 13: Temperamental, Part 2

"It'd be in your best interest to sit down and listen to what I say, 'cause we've got a LOT to get figured out."

The old April would've yelled at Raphael for his tone, demanding that he cease from talking to her like that. She realized quick that there was no place for that old attitude, and the seriousness of the situation mattered more. In accordance with his demand, the redhead wasted no time in sitting down and cocooning herself with the blanket. Now all she had to do was wait for any sort of verbal backlash he had in store for her, all rightfully deserved. To her surprise…Raph stood silent.

Right…he had a hard time being vulnerable and opening up.

Raph knew this, too. The only one he ever felt comfortable being open around was Spike before he became Slash. With him gone, he began internalizing everything and often lashed out worse than he had before. After the invasion and Northampton, however, he decided to work on letting his guard down and voicing concerns, and it got better after he met Mona Lisa. That, and he had to step up when Leo started going off the deep end. April, though…she always remained someone he didn't like opening up to.

All because of how she did Donnie.

"Just so you know, I'm still workin' on this kind of thing." He took a breath and pinched between his brows. _Let the walls come down and just talk._ "I know everybody else had some pep-talk with you. A lot of it's been makin' everybody understand how they hurt you and you hurt them. I know I said things to you…but it's not gonna be about makin' you feel good."

He finally lowered his hand and proceeded to cross his arms in the typical Raph fashion. "You wanna help Donnie heal? Then you need to understand how you've made 'im feel."

April raised an eyebrow. "I already know how I made him feel when I-"

"Not talkin' about that night. I know that you know you hurt 'im bad." Raph corrected quickly, leaving no room for April to try and argue. "I'm talkin' about before that…and why that caused me to give you a hard time."

She immediately found herself astonished. Did Raph's talking down to her actually tie in to her interactions with Donnie? For all she knew, the way she treated Donnie before remained on the positive side. So Raph had no reason to talk down to her except to make himself superior or maintain his pride. Nevertheless, April couldn't help but feel there would be more to it than that. When Raph opened his mouth again, she was proven right.

"It all kinda started after your dad mutated…y'know, when you told us you never wanted to see us again." Raph reminded her, earning a look of shame from April. At least she had the decency to remember her words. "I know you aimed it at all of us, but actions speak louder than words. You put all th' blame on Donnie, th' way I saw it. Even after you said you forgave us, you started actin' different with him."

"…And I guess that was when you started telling me I wasn't good enough?" April criticized, daring herself to look at him and challenge him. "Was that to get back at me for holding a grudge?"

"Well, you constantly putting yourself in danger just to prove a point served as good reason. I know I like punching things, but I don't always go into a fight just to 'kick butt'. Not when you have a city constantly in danger. And if you get cocky…you'll end up gettin' someone hurt, like I did."

April's face immediately fell. "Yeah…Leo hammered that point down well."

Raph couldn't help but have a smirk ghost his face. Now wasn't the time to admire Leo's choice of words, though. He had to get back on track, lest this fall apart for good. "Mikey told me when you were bandaging Donnie up during the invasion, he tried to tell you how he felt…and you cut 'im off. Then you shoot up and throw yourself onto Casey like a dog in heat, right in front of Donnie." He saw April look away, but he wouldn't throw any sympathy right now. "I know it was a bad time for a love confession, but you could've picked a better method."

April only answered with an, "…I know."

She knew better that Raph wasn't done, but secretly hoped he would stop. She could deal with the harsh truth coming from the others, even Splinter, but Raph was known for _brutal_ honesty. He could care less if it hurt her feelings, but whoever said the truth didn't hurt?

"Then up in Northampton, after that whole Bigfoot deal, I saw th' both of you. Heard it all. Donnie was gonna give you up 'cause he saw he smothered you with attention. It was all fine and dandy until you kissed 'im on th' lips."

 _'Did you hear that? He's implying you're nothing but a tease! He doesn't know how to mind his own business; say nothing more to him!'_

"Y-You saw that?" April sputtered.

Raph shrugged his shoulders, masking everything brewing underneath with a thin veil of indifference. "Not on purpose. I was gonna let it go, too…but then you decided to pretend it didn't happen and cozy up to Casey again. I noticed it for a while…you have an issue with Casey, you go runnin' to Donnie. You have an issue with Donnie, you go runnin' to Casey. As th' old saying goes, can't have your cake an' eat it, too."

April felt embarrassed for Raph to call her out on her behavior with Donnie and Casey. She absolutely hated being in the middle of an obvious romantic rivalry between two love-struck boys. But it wasn't like she did much to put a stop to it. They managed to settle their differences for the most part, and she knew she kept everything else going through silence or playing sides against each other. Did she want to play them against each other? No, that was never her intention…but she never received advice on how to deal with it when she had a missing mom and often-preoccupied dad.

She wasn't the only one in the middle either: Raph was Donnie's brother, but also Casey's best friend. If anything, she dragged him into the middle with her and made him choose a side. No wonder Raph got angry with her…

"Every time you get yourself into trouble, Donnie's been th' first person you call. He's put his own feelings aside to make sure you're all right, even sacrificing his own health…and you know that." With a sigh, Raph leaned against one of the sturdy windows and gathered his thoughts, confessing, "I tried to dissuade 'im from pursuin' you 'cause…'cause I felt like you were usin' him for your own means."

To say April felt offended was putting it lightly. She sat up slightly, eyes wide, and argued, "I would never use Donnie! Not in a million years!"

"Maybe not on purpose. Ever since your dad mutated, you treated Donnie differently…and that anger comin' out 'cause of that crystal is just like th' anger you felt that night." Raph countered. "That's why I always gave Leo a hard time over Karai…besides th' whole Foot Clan thing. He just knows when to stop letting himself be used…"

The more April felt about it, the more her heart sank. Raph's last sentence gave her the dreaded impression that Donnie let himself be used, especially by her…and that he let it keep happening until that night. That was the night he finally had enough. Her attempting to kill him served as the final nail in the coffin for what Donnie feared the most: that he was disposable to her. That she cared nothing for him. What kind of friend was she to treat her best friend like that?

"Remember th' whole deal with th' mutant mushrooms? I overheard Donnie talkin' to Splinter 'cause he wouldn't tell us his fear. I heard 'im say that…" Raph swallowed the lump of lead forming in his throat, croaking out, "…that his greatest fear was you hating him. It ended up comin' out in th' nightmares he's had."

The redhead immediately paled and felt her eyes grow bleary. "D-Donnie thinks I hate him?" Her lips immediately began quivering as she lowered her head and pulled the blanket closer over her shoulders. _How can I call myself his friend after everything I did to him?_ "No…no, I would never hate Donnie! I-I would never want him to think t-that I hated him! T-The opposite's true, I swear!"

Did April really mean that, or would she go back to repeating her behavior of toying with his brother? Raph honestly wanted to believe the best in her, even if it meant revealing insecurities explaining his behavior, but remained skeptical that she would pass the test. He knew Donnie better than most believed, and knew the last thing he wanted for his sensitive brother was for his heart to get broken. Especially by a girl that tried to kill him.

Raph wasn't dumb; he knew there was a difference between saying and meaning. "If you really love 'im, then stop expectin' him to come at your every beck and call. Stop beatin' around th' bush with him and be honest with 'im…we may be mutants, but we've got feelings, too."

 _I know you have feelings, and you're not the only mutant._ April processed the information and began looking again at her behavior with Donnie. Intentional or not, it seemed like she started toying with Donnie in retaliation for her father's mutation…for having her 'normal' life ripped away from her. If she realized everything she did, she would've done more for Donnie's sake than her own. She wouldn't have expected Donnie to tolerate her bad behavior until it was too late.

But she did. Donnie got burned one too many times before being totally consumed by the flames…and she served as the gasoline and match.

"Is that why you had a better time forgiving Slash and Mona Lisa?" She dared to ask.

Raph paled when they came into play, reminding him of the harsh words Mikey spoke to him. April didn't know of the fight, or how Mikey called him and Leo out on their hypocritical behavior. She also didn't know what Mikey accused him of or that they still hadn't spoken to each other in days. If he couldn't explain himself to Mikey right now, then he'd owe April that much and keep this from being one-sided. No need to get her tangled up in drama at home, anyway.

"I admit I had bias towards Slash; he used to be my pet, after all. He just acted out on _my_ words…but I know he chose to take it too far. He even went after Donnie first 'cause I told Slash he held me back." The confession tasted bitter on Raph's tongue, but it was the truth. They always say the truth sets you free, too. Taking the easy way out and lying to April would make him no better. "I guess I could forgive 'im easily 'cause I knew it was my fault."

"And what about with Mona?" April asked quietly. "Was it all just because you love her?"

Raph slowly shook his head. "No…once I learned she sold us out to Dregg, I was done. I don't take bein' stabbed in th' shell well. Apparently she was bein' duped, too; all she wanted was to protect her planet. Plus…she didn't break my brothers' hearts. I can handle mine bein' crushed, but not my brothers'."

While it didn't excuse how Raph talked down to her, April could now understand why he did it. He just wanted to protect Donnie from getting his heart broken. It was his way of telling her 'don't hurt my brother or I'll never forgive you'. She could even understand that he didn't want her getting full of herself. Heck, she could now understand his bias with Slash and Mona, even if it didn't make it right.

"But…I should've used a better method with you. I should've done better for Donnie an' called you sooner. I'm not th' type to stick my nose where it doesn't belong…but you two would've worked things out sooner." Raph confessed. "Should've also done better for you, too. You don't get better when someone talks down to you, huh?"

"Well…everybody has their ways. I'd rather be called out and get mad than keep hurting my friend." April admitted softly, looking Raph in the eyes and feeling a strange sense of peace. For once, she found herself glad for Raph giving her one of his brutally-honest talks. "Raph…I know I should be saying this to Donnie, but I'm so sorry. For what I did to him…and putting you all in the middle of the messes I created."

Raph cleared his throat and merely shrugged, "Well…y'know…"

"And…thank you for talking to me. I know you did most of the talking, but I appreciate it regardless." She quietly got up and looked at Raph with uncertainty. She wanted to lean forward and give him a hug to show her thanks, but didn't know if he would be accepting of that yet. So she settled for standing and looking away awkwardly…until she felt herself be pulled towards Raph's plastron. This took her aback, as Raph was usually never the one to initiate hugs.

"…Just do better by Donnie." Raph spoke in a pleading tone. "Don't…don't let 'im keep gettin' burned."

"I know…I'll do better." April vowed in a quivering tone.

She knew it wouldn't happen overnight, however. If Donnie could see that everyone allowed themselves to forgive her and give her another chance, maybe that would lessen his fears and put his nightmares away for good. There was one other thing she had to do, though, and the talk with Raph made her realize just how foolish she'd been.

She finally realized how stupid she was to put a crystal over Donnie.

A sudden, sharp pain reverberated through April's skull, causing her to gasp and stumble. If it wasn't for Raph holding onto her, she would've fallen off the rooftop and died. She could feel the world start spinning around her and her stomach begin turning to the point of nausea. Raph did what he could to walk her back inside the throne room and get her to bed. When his green eyes darted in the direction of the Aeon crystal's dull glow, the air grew cold and he thought he heard a _snarl_.

"April…April, talk to me." Raph gently shook her shoulder and tried to help her regain focus.

"M-My head…" She murmured pitifully, digging her nails into her scalp until she drew blood. "W-Won't…leave me alone…"

Once they entered the throne room, Raph realized someone waited for them. April's absence from her room just now alerted Karai and Shinigami, and they looked to be in the process of searching for her. Once they saw her in Raph's grasp, Karai dashed over and took her from him.

"What happened to her?" Karai suddenly processed who had April and looked at Raph. "Wait, I thought you-"

"I think we got our mess sorted out." Raph replied, not taking his eyes away from April. "She said her head's botherin' her an' almost fell off th' rooftop."

Shinigami felt of April's forehead and almost recoiled from the heat. She showed no signs of sickness earlier to give an explanation…and then her eyes locked onto the crystal. The witch cautiously reached forward to pull the stone off April's neck. When she did…

 _'STAY AWAY!'_

Shini gasped and recoiled away from the voice. So there was something inhabiting the crystal, and now it was desperately trying to regain its hold over April. The witch retrieved a red tag from her cloak and began muttering something in Japanese, once again reaching for the crystal. Her hands suddenly felt frigid the closer they got, but she braved it and the disembodied shouts to finally snatch it and yank it off April's neck. With the tag wrapped around the stone, she attached it to the wall and helped Karai get April back to her room.

Raph stood by and looked at the crystal. To his shock, it glowed fiercely and attempted to wriggle out of the protective tag. Maybe those ghost shows Mikey watched weren't full of crap after all…

"Raphael!"

The turtle in red broke his eyes away from the crystal to look at a panicked Karai. The kunoichi still had April when she commanded, "Call Father! Call Leo, Mikey, and Casey, too! We're going to need a lot of help here!"

If they needed Splinter and the others here, then this was definitely serious. They wouldn't need Splinter unless they needed the Healing Hands or whatever else mantras he had access to. Then he thought of the snarl he heard right as April fell ill, and realized he heard the sound before. It was the same snarl he heard months ago on Xaava-Dal. The snarl that only came from a corrupted Aeon.

That meant there was a…and it would probably…

 _I can't let it get to Donnie!_

While Raph immediately had his T-Phone to his ear, Karai and Shinigami wasted no time in getting April back to her room. They laid her on the tatami bed and scrambled to find a way to make her respond. Her forehead still burned, and she only mumbled and murmured incoherent words. The Foot leader pulled the covers up to April's chin while Shinigami began focusing.

"What's happening to her, Shini?" Karai asked worriedly.

"…She's fighting for control of her body and mind. This… _thing_ inside her is desperate to regain control." Shinigami explained quietly as she held her hands above April's body. "Despite her setbacks, April has slowly pulled away from its influence as she's made amends. It's _angry_ …"

Karai paled at Shini's words, but regained focus and a steady head. "Can we get rid of it?"

"I can perform an exorcism, but I'll need Splinter's help. We will also need the others on standby should April grow violent." The witch narrowed her eyes and looked again at April's shaking body. "The spirit will try and take full control…and then it will attempt to get rid of the true threat to its power."

Confused at first, Karai suddenly realized what her friend meant. "You mean…"

With a nod, Shinigami concluded, "It wants to finish off Donatello."

* * *

 **And that chapter's over! Overall, I think Raph, despite his methods, really wants to protect Donnie from getting his heart broken and would definitely think April used Donnie, albeit unintentionally. So while his methods towards April need work, at least we can understand his motives. Next chapter will have a certain alien spirit finally rearing her ugly head, and there will be a battle-both internally and externally-to free April and protect Donnie! As always, be sure to stay tuned for the next chapter!**


	14. The Devil in Disguise

**Author's Note: Well, I didn't get to finish the story before the new year, but it'll get there when it gets there. The good news is, there's only a few chapters left, and then I can upload my next story, "The Power Inside Him". For now, let's get back to where we left off! April's succumbing to the power of the crystal, and finally confronts the being inside for everything that's happened. Will she prevail against the spirit within the crystal? Will the others help her break free? More importantly, will they be able to protect Donnie? Read and find out, and be sure to review!**

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Chapter 14: The Devil in Disguise

 _April cursed herself for ignoring the warning signs earlier. She knew how everything started going downhill the night she fought Shinigami, but anger clouded her mind so heavily she ignored how this warm being began to change. She thought back on that night, and the catalyst towards her dependence on the crystal…_

"Little red bird." Shinigami taunted, a smug expression on her face.

To April's surprise, Karai was the one to say, "All right, that's enough, Shini! Give her the tanto back!"

Shinigami gave it to her, but in a condescending manner dropped it as though it were garbage. April gritted her teeth, both from the loss and from the way they looked down on her. She wanted so badly to wipe that smirk off the witch's face, by any means necessary. She ignored how the crystal glowed, but she could still remember that voice whispering in her ear to do the unthinkable.

 _'Take your blade…and shove it into her back!'_

 _Had it not been for Donnie, she would have. Donnie prevented her from doing the unthinkable…and her 'friend' didn't like that. The presence never liked him; she always said horrible things about him. She always told April that he wanted her to be a weak damsel-in-distress. She always said things to make April get mad at Donnie. She said a lot of things to turn her against her loved ones, to have her all to herself. The being acted less like a friend and more like an abuser and manipulator…April knew that now._

 _She felt something backhand her, burning her cheek and sending her backward. Holding her cheek, April looked up and got to her feet, wearing a look of anger instead of fear. That didn't suit well with the presence, however._

 _"You're letting yourself be poisoned by them!" The presence thundered, the only visible indicator of her anger being narrowed blue eyes. "They're lying to you to steal your power! I've told you countless times to only trust ME! And now-"_

 _"NO!" April cut the presence off and pointed an accusatory finger at the eyes. "The only one doing any poisoning is YOU! I'm sick of having to hear you talk like that about my family! You weren't like that before! Why are you like this now!?"_

 _The presence paused, her eyes remaining narrowed at the redhead's rebellion. The girl wasn't as smart as she previously believed, but she wasn't so gullible anymore, either. "My eyes were opened to the corruption of this backwater planet…opened to the corruption of beings like you. You are in constant conflict with each other, greedily taking from the weak what is not yours, willing to sacrifice each other for selfish gain. Your planet is in desperate need of cleansing!"_

 _April narrowed her own eyes and retorted, "Well, we're not the only corrupt ones, are we? You act like you want to do good for all, but you tried to kill Donnie over me!"_

 _The presence laughed, and April could feel her shoot her a judgmental gaze. "_ _ **I**_ _tried to kill him? You were the one who attempted to slaughter him…all I did was give you a little push."_

 _That was true…while she was the one pushing her to hurt Donnie, April chose to give into the words because she was that desperate to prove her power. Now she truly realized no power was worth the life of the one turtle who was always there for her. A chuckle suddenly came out of her mouth; she couldn't believe she actually listened to this thing over her friends. Then she realized something she said bothered her._

 _"You say you were exposed to corruption on Earth, including me…so why do you still want me to listen to you? What do I have that you don't to accomplish your mission?"_

 _"So inquisitive…just like that turtle you care so much for." The presence sneered haughtily. "You have a power I've never seen, born from your alien blood. The first taste I received of it when you and I met, I knew you were perfect…as my new vessel. With our abilities combined, this planet shall be the new Xaava-Dal. Together as one…we will be the new god over this planet!"_

 _Instead of a warm light, April felt a frigid cold and saw black, clawed hands where gentle white hands used to be. This whole time, she was being used by this thing, conditioned into being her new body. April found herself shaking her head and wearing a deep frown. "No…I won't help you. You're just as corrupt as you claim Earth is, if not more. I hurt people I care about because of you; tried to kill my best friend over a godforsaken piece of rock and your words! You did everything you could to isolate me from people who actually care about me so you can have me all to yourself!"_

 _Shaking her head again, April chuckled and added, "I just can't believe I was dumb and desperate enough to believe you."_

 _"So you wish to be as weak as those sub-lifeforms around you? You wish to once again be that helpless little girl?"_

 _With great confidence, April replied, "I'm not helpless…I just know now to stop taking the easy way out. And I'll start by telling you to get out of my head!"_

 _There was a low growl, and the eyes glowed fiercely. How dare this human tell her, an all-powerful Aeon, that she was corrupt. How dare this child say she would force her out! With sharp teeth bared, the being snarled, "Big mistake, child. You don't know what powers you are dealing with."_

 _She lunged forward as April screamed, digging her clawed hands into her small shoulders and threatening to devour her. It was then her face finally showed itself: the demonic form of an Aeon with obliterated purity. An Aeon who didn't like being told 'no'. If she would not willingly accept her demands, she would have to finally take charge and make her do as she wanted._

 _"Succumb to the will of Za-Naron!"_

* * *

 _Meanwhile…_

The door burst open and allowed Splinter and the Turtles to enter. They witnessed Karai turn to them with a worried expression as Shinigami knelt down and uttered some incantation. Below Shinigami they found April, unconscious, convulsing slightly, and murmuring indecipherable words. Though Raphael told them she merely fell unconscious with a bad headache, Splinter already knew what really afflicted April: the darkness inside the Aeon crystal.

"How is she?" Splinter asked Shinigami, taking his place next to her and glancing at the pained redhead.

The witch shook her head, not even taking her eyes off April to reply, "She's attempting to fight this entity…but it doesn't look like she's faring well. I'm doing what I can to help, but I can't do it alone. I need your help, Splinter-san…"

She needn't say anymore when Splinter leaned forward and placed his hands over April. In-tune with her own mutterings, he began reciting the mantras in hopes of driving this malevolent force out. He didn't expect moments later to find himself on the spiritual plane alongside Shinigami. No sooner did they enter the otherworldly dimension when they were bombarded with images of creatures they didn't recognize.

"…Are these the creatures the Turtles spoke of?" Shini asked quietly with wide eyes.

Splinter nodded, replying with faint breath, "I believe so. Images of these Aeon creatures…"

The images appeared to be memories, but they knew they weren't April's memories. The Aeons in strange cloaks walking through a temple, a planet they didn't recognize…and soon two beings side-by-side. One cloaked in golden light took the shape of April, the other taking the angelic form of an Aeon. They watched as darkness emitted from April's silhouette-and from thousands of other silhouettes-into the Aeon before it literally became swallowed by a massive, dark form. To their horror, the dark form lunged towards April and began assimilating it with a shriek.

"April!"

'April' seemed to react to Splinter's call, turning and gazing at him with fear-filled eyes. "Master Splinter…help me…please!"

"You need to fight as well, April!" Splinter directed, attempting to strike the dark force and free her. Shinigami also assisted by dealing blows towards it. "Shinigami and I can only do so much; it will take your willpower to defeat this creature!"

'April' shook her head, struggling against the sharp teeth of the corrupted alien. "I-I can't…I gave her too much power…sh-she's too strong!"

Splinter wasn't going to have any of it. "Yes you can, April! This being will destroy everything in its path if you allow it to control you!" He suddenly reached for her hand, and begged, "Do it not for me, do it for Dona-"

The Aeon roared and flung the two away, which brought them out of the spiritual plane and back to April's body. They realized the internal effects made their way to the surface when April roared and emitted a blue-hued shockwave. The Turtles and Karai had no time to react when they, Splinter, and Shinigami were sent into the walls of the room and onto the floor. Only when they stopped seeing stars did they see what happened to April…or rather, what took over April's body.

April levitated off the bed, surrounded by a blue aura and hair standing on-end. Instead of her cerulean-blue eyes, they were empty and glowing ghostly-blue; just like the night when she attacked Donnie. Her face remained blank as she raised one hand towards the doorway. Leo was the first to look at her, but turned when he heard Raph panic. It took just seconds to say exactly what went through his brother's mind.

"Don't let her get the crystal!"

While Raph and Mikey made the move to restrain April, Leo and Karai rushed to the throne room to secure the crystal. They hoped the shard remained in the hold of Shinigami's paper charm, still stuck to the wall of the throne room. Leo was the first to reach the throne room and see the crystal wiggling inside the paper. Only when Karai caught up did he breathe a sigh of relief. And then…

They could hear shouting before Raph and Mikey were flung into the throne room. Leo and Karai turned, only to be met with the same force that pushed the others back. Attempting to get up resulted in being forcefully pinned to the floor by invisible bonds. That left them to watch April hover into the room with the same cold expression. Another raise of the hand, and the paper tag tore to shreds to release the crystal. The object glided to her and into her waiting hands, which she pressed to her cheek as though it was her precious child.

"A-April, stop! Fight this!" Mikey begged, straining to turn his head to her.

Instead of the voice of their April, an otherworldly voice emitted from her mouth as a chuckle. "Humans and their _primitive_ magic."

Leo attempted to reach for her, his body fighting against the psychic binds holding him down. "April…listen to us!"

'April' turned to face him. A malevolent grin graced her face, and she replied with an equally-malevolent tone, "April O'Neil is _dead_. There is only Za-Naron now."

She raised both hands, and they watched as every window in the throne room shattered into a blizzard of glass. They squeezed their eyes shut as the shards came raining down, which distracted them from April-Za-Naron-flying out into the night sky. It was only when she left did the psychic binds break and free them from her capture. But now they were left wondering where she was going…all except Raph, that is.

"W-We gotta get back to th' lair, like right now!" Raph panicked, running to the broken windows.

Karai got up and dusted glass shards from her hair right as Splinter and Shinigami came to their aid. "Wait, you mean you left Donatello there by himself!?"

"No, Casey's watching him." Mikey replied quickly. "Why?"

Splinter, despite the pain flooding his body from the psychic attack, was the one to reply, "That being sees Donatello as a threat to its hold on April. It will attempt to finish him off to ensure it maintains control."

"It wants to _kill_ Donnie!?" Leo shouted before rushing alongside Raph to the windows. "Alert Casey! We gotta go!"

* * *

Why did it start thundering? The forecast didn't call for rain…

Donatello laid in bed unable to sleep, so he settled for staring aimlessly at the wall. The sudden thunder outside-loud enough to hear in the lair-wasn't what woke him up. He heard Splinter and his brothers suddenly rushing out of the lair and telling Casey to 'watch Donnie'. What was Casey supposed to do with his lack of medical experience? Maybe once he forced himself to sleep, everyone would be back, and he'd be in qualified hands…

Sleep didn't keep away the nightmares, however. Not even any attempts made by the others alleviated them. He already knew Splinter talked to her, as did Karai. He also remembered the night he grew angry with Mikey; he knew Mikey went to talk to her. Leo obviously volunteered to look for her because that was Leo. Raph…he already suspected that was where Raph went tonight, but he never thought Raph would be willing to talk. Perhaps the silent treatment he and Mikey gave each other was a reason…

Now that just left him. It would be left to him to decide whether she earned total forgiveness. He could decide to forgive her and pretend nothing ever happened…or he could choose to hold a grudge and alienate himself from her. He knew what grudges did, thanks to the glittering example of Splinter and Shredder, and he honestly had doubts towards April's claims of guilt. If she felt so guilty for what she did to him, why did she keep that crystal? She could claim addiction and a warped mind, but they weren't strong enough excuses for him to swallow.

 _Even after I warned her, even after Splinter warned her, she still carries it around. She tried to choke her father, for crying out loud! She tried to…kill me._

Donnie shuddered and wrapped his arms around his plastron. If _he_ received some crystal and it granted him vast power, he would toss it away the moment it became a threat towards his loved ones. April apparently didn't think much of them to do that…especially not him.

"Whoa, hey, what're you-hey, HEY!"

Donnie painfully sat up when he heard Casey's panicked voice. His worry grew when he heard Casey shout, followed by the sound of someone being slammed into a body of water. The wheelchair was right next to the bed, but no one was there to help him in it. His Bo staff leaned against the corner of the room, too far away for him to reach. He had a pack of shuriken on the bookshelf above his bed, however, and he frantically began reaching for them.

The door to his room burst open and slammed against the wall, prompting a yelp from Donnie. A small part of him hoped this was just a sick prank courtesy of Casey Jones. Instead, he whimpered and panicked at the sight of the being levitating in front of him.

"A-A-Ap-April…"

Her eyes looked the same ghostly-blue as they did the night she cracked his shell open. He didn't remember her being able to levitate or look like a Super Saiyan, however. His auburn eyes locked onto the glowing crystal before going to her expressionless face. No…she finally let herself succumb to it, and now she wanted to finish what she started.

"Hello, Donatello." She spoke in a suspiciously-sweet voice.

Before Donnie could say another word, she raised a hand and his hands immediately went to his neck when an unseen force squeezed it. His struggle to breath soon found itself accompanied by an agonizing pain in his shell, and he suddenly realized she used her power to squeeze it, too. She was choking him AND attempting to obliterate his shell completely! If he wasn't facing the risk of death, he would lament over the thing he feared most with his standing in April's eyes: he just got in her way.

"A-April…p-please…" Donnie gasped, feeling small trickles of blood seep through his bandages.

The redhead only grinned and decided to squeeze harder. "Now you'll never interfere again."

That voice…that wasn't April's, was it?

It was around the time he started losing consciousness that his family returned and attempted to go after the chuckling April. He could hear shouts, begging her to stop. He heard Leo shout a name he didn't recognize; Za-something? But he couldn't predict what happened next, but he knew that he quickly found himself able to breathe again after hearing a strangled gasp. The pain in his shell disappeared, too, and a few deep breaths brought him back to full consciousness. Adrenaline flooded through him and he scooted away from April. Then he saw it.

There was a hand around April's neck, belonging to…April?

* * *

 **So it looks like April's not gone like our corrupt Aeon thought. But even after this, we may have even more damage between Donnie and April. In the next chapter, the others take on Za-Naron and learn of her origins. Can they defeat Za-Naron without resorting to the ultimate sacrifice? Will they receive unexpected aid? Stay tuned and find out!**


	15. A Good Round of Exorcise

**Author's Note: I'm sorry for keeping everyone waiting on the next update! I've had overtime thrown in my direction and all I've wanted to do after work is sleep! But I finally got this done, and this is probably one of my longest chapters! So we've finally got a showdown between our heroes and April...or should I say Za-Naron? Will they come out victorious? Will Donnie and April both be saved? Well, read, find out, and be sure to review!**

* * *

Chapter 15: A Good Round of Exorcise

 _Just moments earlier_

 _'No…no, don't you hurt him!'_

April could see through her own eyes, but had no control over her body. She could see the streets of New York from the sky, and she could hear the others calling her name and chasing her. She could even see the horrified look on Casey's face as her hand waved and he flew into the water. The moment she saw her body levitate towards Donnie's room, she immediately panicked and begged for this to stop. But Za-Naron was in charge now, and she couldn't do anything about it.

She wished she rejected the crystal on Xaava-Dal.

The more she used it, the more her powers grew…but the more she used it, the greater the hold the Aeon had over her. The more she lashed out at her friends and grew possessive of the crystal, the more Za-Naron assured she had her isolated. Then the more April listened to Za-Naron over her family, the more of an inch the Aeon had until she had total control. The one who ended up paying for her mistakes-these and past ones-was Donnie. He shouldn't have to pay for the mistakes of someone else, especially not hers.

When Raph's words echoed in her mind, she remembered what started the friction in their relationship: the mutation of her father. When she told him she never wanted to see him again, it translated to 'I have no faith in you that you can fix this'. But the incident was her fault, too; she was too stupid to move out of the way of the canister, and it wouldn't have hurt her if it hit her. But she still treated Donnie differently. She kept the feud between him and Casey going, gave him kisses that had different meanings, effectively using him like Raph said. She remembered Leo's words, Mikey's words, Splinter's, even Karai's and Casey's. They didn't put her on a pedestal like Donnie did…and maybe Donnie only did so in fear of her leaving again.

Even after all she did to him, he didn't give up on her. Even when she gave up on him at times, he never wavered with her…at least not until she cracked his shell open. She knew just from the way Donnie stared at her in terror and tried to reach for his shuriken. Then she saw her own hand raise and saw Donnie reach for his throat. She heard Za-Naron taunt him, assuring he would never get in the way again.

April felt white-hot anger surge through her. She already did too much to hurt him, and she wasn't going have an Aeon hijack her body and keep hurting him.

 _'Get your hands OFF HIM!'_

April broke through long enough for her free hand to snake its way around her neck and squeeze. The reverberating voice of Za-Naron gasped and struggled for air, but it at least freed Donnie. That also gave enough of an opening for Leo to come up from behind and throw her out of the doorway. Leo had a surprising amount of strength when it came down to it, proven when she crashed into the arcade machines. Despite it, she silently thanked Leo. Za-Naron shouted and regained control once again, ripping her hand away from her neck.

"Keep her away from Donnie!" Leo shouted. "We need to get the crystal off her!"

"But what if April's dead like she said!?" Mikey shouted in fear, bringing out his kurisagama chain and readying it.

"She lied to April plenty of times; I wouldn't put it past her to lie to us, too! Now restrain her!"

Two sets of chains from Mikey and Shinigami flew out and went for April/Za-Naron, but she merely lifted her hand and sent the chains back to her attackers. Her sights went back to Donnie's room, but a hiss and a spray of yellow liquid halted her movements. Karai, in her half-serpentine form, lunged for April/Za-Naron and shot her arms out. She merely grinned and flicked her finger to send Karai flying into the pit. They realized too late that she could predict their moves before they even made them. It was time to reflect on one of Splinter's most memorable lessons: fighting without thinking.

Splinter happily reminded them when he took April/Za-Naron by surprise with a blow to the stomach. She flew back towards the turnstiles and found herself tangled in them like a pretzel. The rat stalked towards her, the others following behind, before holding up one of Shinigami's paper charms. "You will release April, demon!"

The Earth vermin had the nerve to call _her_ a demon? She wasn't the one plaguing the planet with greed and selfishness. With the girl's power, she would eliminate the plague that was human emotion, starting with this group of selfish beings. But she would have to have better terrain first, then she could squash them one-by-one. With a roar and a flash of ghostly-blue light, April/Za-Naron threw her arms out…and disappeared.

The others had to shield their eyes from the light, but were shocked to find the redhead vacant from the lair. All they were left with were toppled-over pinball machines and a panic-stricken Donnie. The turtles immediately went to the turtle in question, finding him curled up in a ball and massaging his neck. Mikey could see small trails of blood oozing from his bandages and tried to contain the damage. His blue eyes caught the terrified look in his brother's auburn ones; a clear indication he relived that night.

"We gotta stop her before she hurts someone else!" The turtle in orange cried.

Leo took a deep breath through his nostrils, replying, "We have to separate her from the crystal. We get rid of that, we get rid of whoever this Za-Naron is. But we have to find her first, and we don't know where to start."

"Doesn't have 'er T-Phone, and th' mutagen tracker's never worked on 'er…" Raph cued in, his tone defeated.

It was the moment Leo sighed that Donnie forced himself out of his shock and voiced an answer. "M-My s-space s-staff…" He slowly raised his finger towards the direction of the lab, watching the others cast their eyes upon the metal door. "U-Use it to track her…"

Leo blinked, but suddenly widened his eyes and smacked his forehead. "Of course! You've been using that to study the crystal's energy, so it's natural you'd have a means to trace it."

From the moment Donnie pointed to the lab doors, Mikey rushed like his behind was on fire and grabbed his brother's space Bo staff. He fumbled with it until a light appeared on the bulb, followed by a holo-screen and the internal compass pointing them in the direction they needed. The crystal's energy…and April. The turtle in orange decided to man the staff, but before leading the way he went to Donnie and patted him on the head. "We're gonna make this right, D. We'll get 'er back."

Instead of Donnie agreeing like he always did, he averted his eyes and curled up in a tighter ball. "F-For all we know…April O'Neil is g-gone for good…"

Hearing Donnie essentially say that he gave up on April-even calling her by her full name like a stranger- disturbed the group. True, he had justified reason, but even a small part of him would've held out in believing in her. Even if they did get rid of that Aeon, would it do any good in salvaging the bond Donnie and April shared? They immediately refocused their priorities after a moment of eerie silence. Even if the bond was broken, what mattered more was freeing April of that creature before she truly was gone for good. Even if it ran the risk of seriously wounding their friend…

Splinter took a seat on the edge of the bed and put a hand on Donnie's shoulder. "I will stay here with Donatello. The rest of you find April and exorcise this creature. But please…be careful, my children. Her power is no longer contained."

The truth in Splinter's words sent ice through their veins. For all they knew, she could use her powers to make them implode or compress them into marbles. But they had to take the risk that not all of them would make it back. As much pain as she caused, April was still their friend, and they had to help her. They all held on to the slender thread of hope that she would be able to break through as they went out to the streets to find her.

* * *

Instead of the clear night they expected, they were astounded to find torrential rain and fierce winds. People below were scrambling to find shelter, some standing in awe at the terrible weather and swirling clouds above. If it got any worse, they wouldn't be surprised to see a tornado desolate the city. While the people below figured the meteorologist got the forecast wrong, the Turtles and their friends knew better what caused the storm; something they were getting closer to by the minute.

"Where's that thing pointin' us!?" Raph shouted through the rain pummeling them.

Mikey looked between the staff and right in front of them, seeing the device flashing brighter and brighter. "It's taking us to the Channel 6 building!"

The Channel 6 building? Why would April go there? They suddenly remembered that a news building usually came with a very _big_ antenna. That's when Leo looked up and saw the central point of the swirling clouds…right above the Channel 6 antenna's red light. Standing above the light…no, _hovering_ above the light was none-other than April.

The rain didn't mar her hair standing on end, as Casey exclaimed, 'Super Saiyan' style. What astonished them more was her pose: arms raised to the sky like some supreme deity. Of course, they already determined she created this storm, but what did she hope to accomplish with it? Destroy the city? Flood the sewers to drown Donnie? Or perhaps this was only an extravagant scare-tactic. They wouldn't be frightened away by some arrogant _ghost_ , not now or ever.

"April!"

Raph's shout caught the attention of April/Za-Naron. Seconds later, she watched the Turtles and humans jump when she gifted them with a lightning strike. The surprise on their faces amused her, but she also found herself frustrated that they would risk so much for a girl who hurt one of their own. But the girl didn't need them; they only held back her outstanding power…and as long as she remained in control, she would unleash the power and cleanse this world.

"April, it's us! You have to fight that spirit's control over you!" Karai shouted in desperation. "If you don't it's going to destroy everyone and everything!"

The Aeon chuckled darkly, finally deciding to descend while keeping the storm clouds swirling. A cold smirk appeared on her lips and she held her hand out in a flippant manner. "Did I not tell you? April O'Neil is gone forever. I am in control now."

But they refused to believe such a thing. Leo bared his teeth and demanded, "Tell us who-WHAT-you are! Tell us why you're controlling April!"

They didn't expect her to heed to the turtle in blue's demands, but this night just kept surprising them. She smiled coldly, further descending until her feet were mere inches from the rooftop. If it wasn't for the fact that lives were at stake, they would laugh at this being deciding to possess April while she was still in her pajamas. It immediately reminded Mikey of a ghost movie and made him wish they had ecto-blasters. Would she suddenly ask them if they were gods, too?

"I am Za-Naron…one of the first seven Aeons. We guided Xaava-Dal to ascension for one-hundred millennia before our bodies deteriorated." April/Za-Naron recounted, ghostly eyes flashing. "Our souls were placed into the Soul Star so we could live on forever…and my soul traveled to the body of April O'Neil when the Aeons granted her the shard. It was through her eyes that I could see the disgusting corruption of your planet…wars over territory, greed, disregarding life itself."

She lifted her hand, and the storm clouds rumbled and flashed with lightning. "I whispered in her ear, telling her the secrets to harnessing the shard's power until she was near total omnipotence. The more she relied on the crystal-my conduit-the more control I had over her consciousness. Now nothing will hold me back as I cleanse this world…starting with _you_."

The group resisted the desire to run in fear of her newfound power. However, there was something still lingering in Raph's mind, and he realized at the last second he actually spoke it. "If you're such an all-powerful being, why were you so eager to get rid of Donnie?"

April/Za-Naron smirked and replied, "Donatello tried very hard to separate us. For a while, April O'Neil considered the idea of listening to him and forsaking the crystal. Shame that she did not kill him the first time."

"Why you conniving-"

"Wait a minute…" Leo interrupted Raph as an idea brewed in his mind. Za-Naron confirmed Karai and Shinigami's words: Donnie was a threat to the Aeon. If he could get this to work, they could have a chance to not only bring April back, but make her fight back. "Donnie's such a threat to you that he needs to be killed, huh? For such a powerful being, it's funny you're so wary of him."

April/Za-Naron's smirk disappeared and she narrowed her eyes at the turtle in blue. "You suggest that I am afraid of Donatello? A ridiculous assumption, mortal…he merely possesses knowledge and technology that can suppress my power."

Leo laughed, deciding to amp it up. "That's a lame excuse! The only reason you wanted April to kill Donnie is because you're _afraid_ of him. He didn't use technology to try and get rid of you; you know Donnie's the one who's always been able to reach out to her."

"Leo, do you want that thing to kill us?" Karai whispered with a hiss.

She couldn't proceed to drag him away from the Aeon's line of sight when Shinigami held an arm in front of her. She also couldn't protest when amber eyes narrowed and communicated what was on her mind. She had to concede that Shini was right…they had to play along with this plan Leo had. If it could reach April…

"No wonder you tried to make April hate us!" Mikey shouted and pointed his finger at April/Za-Naron. "You didn't want anyone fighting for her while you tried to steal her body! You hated it when we talked with her 'cause she wouldn't listen to you anymore!"

"Just can't believe she listened to some freaky alien over us in th' first place…" Casey murmured.

While Casey's point had total merit, the others would ignore it right now. All of them were aware of this plan without having to exchange words: if they could rile Za-Naron up enough, she would slip-up and give an opening for April to regain control. If this didn't work…then they had to prepare themselves to take April down for good. They prayed it would never come to that.

A wave of the hand brought the fierce winds and rain upon them and made them shield their faces. Za-Naron was done talking and decided to use the storm as her weapon. They could feel the gusts make small tears in their skin, and the rain hit hard enough to leave bruises the next day. But they had enough willpower to push forward and inch closer and closer to April/Za-Naron. Instead of attempting to throw a shuriken or smoke bomb, they decided to throw more words and shake the Aeon up.

"You never cared about April's well-being! You only wanted to condition her into being your new body!" Leo accused, his voice overpowering the howls of the wind. "But you knew we would stand in your way!"

Karai decided to join in and give her own input. "April being beaten by Shini was the perfect excuse to feed her lie after lie! Turning her against us would make it easier to keep April in your grip; you knew she would refuse otherwise! You preyed on her insecurities like a classic abuser!"

April/Za-Naron's cold mask faltered slightly as a sneer ghosted her face. "So you would equate me with you pitiful mortals? You speak nonsense; I am perfect!"

"Then why rely so much on an Earth girl to maintain power?" Shinigami shot back. "Is it because you're too weak on your own?"

Seeing her cold façade begin to crumble bit-by-bit proved the plan worked. If they could get through to April through words meant to heal, they could help her by slewing hard words at Za-Naron. Leo grinned and thought of how proud they would make Splinter and Donnie, but also to deliver the kicker.

"Face it, Za-Naron…you need April more than she needs you."

April/Za-Naron let out an ear-piercing roar and charged.

* * *

"Face it, Za-Naron…you need April more than she needs you."

 _April's eyes snapped open when she heard Leo's words. One moment she found herself wrapping her hand around her neck, the next she was restrained by black tendrils. Za-Naron managed to put her in bondage once again to prevent more interference. Now she could see through her own eyes as the Aeon created a malevolent storm to hurt her loved ones. She had to fight and stop her with all her might. She had to, she needed to…but all her fight disappeared when her amplified mind picked up one voice._

 _'F-For all we know…April O'Neil is g-gone for good…'_

 _It was Donnie's voice. It wasn't what he said…it was how he sounded. He resigned himself to the fact that she was, in a sense, dead. It was his way of saying he gave up on her. If the one person she wanted to fight for gave up on her, what was the point of fighting back? She threw her friends away over a crystal, listened to an alien spirit over them, and let said spirit take over. Maybe it was what she deserved after the pain she caused._

 _She could hear Za-Naron roar and charge after them. She could only watch as she started throwing them around like ragdolls. The storm grew worse; any more and the rain would literally drown them. April lowered her head and resigned herself for what was about to come…until she heard the pleading voices._

"Don't give up, April! I know you can hear us!" Leo shouted desperately. "You can't let Za-Naron win! If you do, everything you've done until now will be for nothing!"

 _Everything she did? The talks were pointless now…it didn't help Donnie at all._

"Th' Aeon chick knows she can't win if ya fight back! That's why she wanted ya against us!" Casey's voice came next. "We've been through too much crap together to let 'er win! Fight, dammit!"

 _What was the point?_

 _"Remember who you are! You're April O'Neil! Remember all the hardships you've overcome to get stronger!" Karai cried out._

 _But April O'Neil only caused misery…_

"Think about us and everything we've done together! Like our space adventures and the farmhouse and pizza!" Mikey shouted before being thrown into the Channel 6 antenna.

Shinigami caught Mikey as he collapsed and offered a glare at the possessed girl. "April, get out of your stupor and fight this spirit! Don't let your progress be in vain and stand up!"

 _"…Stand up?" April asked in a weak voice._

 _Then she saw it happen. Za-Naron threw them aside and went for Raph. She watched in horror as the Aeon lifted him in the air little by little. April's eyes widened when he slowly turned until he was in a familiar position…his shell facing the ground. No…no, Za-Naron was going to repeat what she herself did. She could literally feel her lips tugging into a grin while the turtle struggled for freedom._

"April O'Neil failed to kill Donatello…but I will kill _you_."

Raph struggled more, but couldn't free himself of her psychic hold. If he didn't come up with something fast, he would join Donnie in the cracked shell club. That or he would end up six feet under. April couldn't just be sitting by and letting this happen. He had to find something to make her respond. With a deep breath, he darted his green eyes to the possessed girl and spoke.

"April…remember who you're fighting for! Remember that you're trying to improve yourself for Donnie!" The turtle in red shouted, louder as his body rose. "He's hurting right now, but I know 'im enough to know he still has hope! It's just buried underneath all that hurt…and you gotta give 'im time. You still gotta tell 'im what he needs to hear, too! If you don't fight back…then Za-Naron wins! She'll kill 'im 'cause she knows he can get through to you!"

 _April lifted her head in stunned surprise. She believed all hope was lost when she heard Donnie's resignation…but did he really hold on to hope for her? Did he still believe in her, even after all she did? He was always there for her, even when she took advantage of that…he was there for her because he loved her that much. Giving up now would mean she didn't love him the same way. Donnie never gave up…and neither would she._

 _"Leave my friends ALONE!"_

Za-Naron's grip loosened with a scream when April clutched her scalp. Raph descended and threatened to hit hard until Leo caught him. The storm grew weaker when April collapsed to her knees, and the others crowded around her in another attempt to reach out to her. They didn't know how long she could hold the Aeon back and they didn't know if they could get the crystal off of her. What they didn't realize was that April had a plan of her own.

 _"You cannot hold me back forever! Your efforts will be in vain like always!" Za-Naron shouted in the recesses of April's mind._

 _April, as she held Za-Naron in a chokehold, only grinned. "I still can't believe I was dumb and desperate enough to believe you over my friends." Grin fading, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "But they're right. You need me…"_

With all her strength, April's hands went around the crystal and forcefully yanked it off her neck. "…more than I NEED YOU!"

The only sound not drowned out by the rain and wind was the crystal shattering against the asphalt. Shards dug into April's palms from the impact and blood trickled down her fingertips. But that didn't compare to the painful scream of Za-Naron inside her mind. The redhead screamed and hunched over, wrapping her arms around her torso as a ghostly-blue energy erupted from her body. The only means for Za-Naron to stay inside her body was gone, and now the Aeon spirit faced immediate eviction.

All the blue energy left April's body and her screaming ceased. She fought to catch her breath and wanted to just throw up and collapse, but something she sensed prevented her from it. She should be happy she got rid of the Aeon spirit hijacking her body…

…but she didn't expect it to reform as a complete, corrupted Aeon.

The restored Za-Naron glowered down at April, eyes darting between her and the shattered crystal. With the crystal gone, she no longer had a means of cleansing the Earth or having great power. Her plans would have been foolproof if not for the weakness of human emotion. The only thing she could do now was destroy the little demon that foiled her mission. With a terrifying screech, she shoved the others aside and immediately swooped in and grabbed the weakened redhead.

"You could have had all the power in the universe!" The Aeon shrilled and shook April violently, her heated breath making the girl grimace. "I gave it to you-I DID-and you still chose these filthy beings!"

April found herself slammed into the asphalt with a cry of pain. The others cried out for her and desperately ran to her aid, but the psychic attacks earlier wore them down as well. She could see Za-Naron dive towards her again and reached for her tanto or tessen…but she left them back at Foot HQ. If she didn't find a way to stop the Aeon, she would be devoured or ripped to pieces. When she heard Za-Naron scream, she closed her eyes and screamed as well.

Her only thoughts were images of Donnie's face and every dilemma they faced together…

She heard something whiz past her ear and plunge into something soft, then plunge into wood and metal. It was only when she heard an agonized howl that she opened her eyes. She saw her own hand raised, Za-Naron pinned against the building stairwell door…and Donnie's space staff plunged deep into her chest. She and everyone else watched the Aeon's body flail and heard her howling die down until her head slowly slumped to the side and the glow disappeared from her eyes.

Raph forced himself to move forward and get closer to April, letting out a cautious, "…April?"

He half-expected her to sharply turn around and fling him against the ground; to be some sort of trick devised by the Aeon. Instead, April slowly turned to him with a tired and relieved expression to say, "…It's over."

They all felt a sense of satisfaction that it was Donnie's weapon that killed Za-Naron…

* * *

 **And Za-Naron has been defeated! Pretty satisfying that, in a way, Donnie got to do the honors, even if he wasn't there. Next up we'll have the chapter everyone's been anticipating...the talk between Donnie and April since the incident. Is there hope that Donnie will forgive April, or will the pain and trauma be too much? How will April fare now that she doesn't have so much power anymore? Will she keep being a kunoichi? All you have to do is stay tuned and find out!**


	16. Scars

**Author's Note: Oh gosh, I didn't realize until now that I hadn't updated this in over two months! I'm terribly sorry for that! I ended up getting hit with two months worth of overtime at work and it left me so drained I practically stared at the screen instead of writing! Well, that's finally calmed down and I'm back with a new chapter! We finally have Donnie and April talking to each other and expressing their feelings...only it's not going to go very well. Will Donnie forgive April, or will he be too hurt to consider forgiveness? Well, let's read and find out!**

* * *

Chapter 16: Scars

Donatello knew something went down when his family came back covered in cuts and bruises.

They wouldn't exactly go into any details, however. The most he could get out of them was a simple 'everything's okay now'. Either whatever happened was too grim for them to talk about, or they wanted to protect him from further trauma. He wanted to protest being treated like glass but that would be hypocritical. He still shivered and felt his plastron tighten at the mention of April. Which begged the question of how everything was okay now? Did they send April away? Did they talk sense into her?

Did they have no choice but to…kill her?

No matter what the others presumed, killing April for what she did was the last thing he wanted. It wouldn't repair his shell or make the pain of rehabilitation go away. It was better that she life the rest of her life facing what she did than give her an out in the form of death. Donnie could also admit the thought of April being dead _hurt_. Through words and actions, she crushed him in body and heart, yet it crushed him more to think of Kirby having to bury his only child. Donnie quickly summed up these feelings as the obligations of a friend…if he could even call April his friend anymore.

He refrained from jumping when there was a sudden knock on the door. He half-expected it to be Mikey bringing him a bite to eat, prompting a soft, "Come in…"

The door slowly opened, but it wasn't Mikey bringing food. Donnie found himself reeling back with labored breath when April entered his room. Instinct prompted him to reach toward his shelf once again for something to protect himself. However, he froze the moment her hand went up and braced himself for another psychokinetic attack. A moment passed…nothing. What was her game?

"I-It's okay, Donnie." April gently reassured. "It's over…she's gone now."

The turtle in purple kept his body rigid, but asked, "…S-She?"

In the split-second before she spoke again, he examined her features. Her body remained stiff, guarded as much as his. She wore her regular clothes instead of the kunoichi garb she came to love. The palms of her hands were wrapped in bandages and she looked covered in bruises. Obviously this was the result of either two scenarios: a huge scuffle between her and the others, or a scuffle with whoever this 'she' was.

"There really was something living in the crystal. It was an Aeon spirit named Za-Naron. She…she was the reason all this happened." April suddenly caught herself and let out a bitter snort. "No…just part of it. If I wasn't so obsessed with getting stronger, I would've never listened to her. I would've never…hurt you."

An Aeon spirit inside the crystal? It explained the spectral mass coming out of it during his first experiments with it. But from April's words, it wasn't possession from the beginning. Up until last night, everything that happened was of her own free will, even if the claim that the Aeon influenced her was true. Instead of the typical shock and understanding most people would feel, Donnie only felt shock and the ever-present hurt of that first night. The only thing he could do was look at her incredulously.

"If it wasn't for talking with everyone and getting our feelings out, I would've stayed in her grip and hurt somebody else. She tried to take total control when I strayed, but I broke through long enough to destroy the crystal and defeat her."

There was a moment of silence to process that bit of information before Donnie replied, "So…there really was an Aeon spirit…and it really became corrupt from your insecurities…"

April didn't respond to Donnie's muttering or the tone in his voice as she hesitantly stepped forward. "But there's one thing that needs to be done. We…we need to have our talk. And I wanted to give you these…"

When April put her hands behind her back to retrieve something, Donnie instinctively flinched. His shoulders raised defensively when she pulled both her sheathed tanto and tessen from behind. Nagging thoughts vibrating in his head told him it was all a trick. She wanted him to let his guard down and be a lamb for the slaughter. The turtle in purple swallowed a lump in his throat and braced for an attack…only to watch the redhead put the weapons on the floor in front of him. No sort of attack from her. Why was she suddenly kneeling in front of them?

"W-Why are you…putting those there?" Donnie whispered guardedly.

April lowered her head and replied, "…Because I don't deserve them. I lost the right to have these when I turned my hand against you. So…s-so it's only fair that I give them to you."

Overcome with emotion, April lowered herself on all fours until her nose barely touched the concrete of the floor. Soft sobs erupted from her throat and her shoulders trembled under the weight of her guilt and Donnie's skeptical gaze. "I-I hurt you so many times…and I always expected you to take it. I-I cared more about making myself strong to…t-to make people afraid of pushing me a-around. You never d-deserved that, Donnie. Y-You're not just my best friend…y-you're my family, too. You've been so kind and generous towards me…a-and what do I do? I-I punish you for it…"

Donnie swallowed hard, murmuring, "A-April…"

"I-I've been nothing but selfish. You guys offered me a home, training, a place in your family…a-and all I do is complain a-and ask for what I can't have. Instead of being thankful for everything you've done for me…for being my best friend in the worst of times…I yelled at you…toyed with your feelings…hurt you in the worst possible way…"

April simply allowed the words to tumble out of her mouth without thought. Whether or not they were muffled because of her face near the floor, she didn't care. She just wanted Donnie to know her feelings…and hopefully earn his forgiveness. "I-I'm so sorry, Donnie…I'm so sorry…p-please forgive me…"

Donnie only watched her as she groveled and sobbed on the concrete. He had a lot to take in and a lot of choices going through his head. April just poured her heart out to him, something he never had the courage to do in the past except for the infamous 'Bigfoot incident'. She literally got down on her knees and asked for his forgiveness. The part of his heart that always held out for April-the part that always loved her-pushed for him to accept her pleas and start over. He wanted to put this whole mess behind him.

But then voices from the past began flooding his brain.

 _"Don't touch me! You keep away from me! I never want to see your faces…EVER AGAIN!"_

 _"I never want to see you again!"_

 _"You mutant, three-fingered FREAK! I HATE YOU! You mutated my father! I never want to see you again!"_

 _"Oh, sorry, Donnie! You should probably stop talking. It only makes things hurt more."_

 _"Where is my crystal!? I gave it to you and you lost it!"_

 _"I don't want to relax! I want my crystal!"_

 _"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"_

 _"STAY AWAY FROM MY CRYSTAL!"_

Even when things supposedly got better between them…it went bad as always.

"…H-How stupid do you think I am?"

April shot her head up and looked at the turtle with a shocked expression. "What?"

Donnie's eyes narrowed and he leaned himself over, ignoring the pain of straining his shell. That pain paled in comparison to the pain remaining in his heart. Splinter would tell him to not hold a grudge; to let everything wash over him like a river over stone. But this wasn't about petty insults hurled at him. This was about having his trust and his heart broken one too many times. This was about being pushed around long enough. This was about how not even a heartfelt apology from the crying April would make things right.

"How do I know you actually meant what you said?" Donnie questioned, the bitterness inside him oozing into his tone. Seeing April shrivel didn't make him think twice about his doubt, and he continued, "How do I know that things will stay okay? For all I know, it'll be okay for a while, then I'll slip up or you'll find a new source of power and it'll start all over again. You'll just end up taking your frustrations out on me like always and expecting me to sit down and take it."

The redhead feverishly shook her head. "No, no, Donnie…that's not true! I won't-"

But Donnie wasn't having any of it. Teeth bared and eyes bulging, he shouted, "Do you honestly think saying sorry is going to fix this!? You think a flowery speech is going to heal my shell or get me through agonizing physical therapy!?"

April froze into silence. Raw emotion took over rational thought when Donnie sat guarded and glared daggers at her. He knew he wasn't exactly being open to apologies, but he felt he earned the right to let his feelings out. He stood by and listened to her rant and rave and cry so many times…now it was her turn to be quiet.

"It-It would be nice if everything could be fixed with the snap of my fingers or the click of my heels, or with your 'heartfelt' apology…but it doesn't work that way, April." The anger in his voice slowly cooled to a simmer as he spoke, and he cast his eyes down to avoid seeing the pain in her face. "I let myself be burned one too many times, hoping the next time had a different result. I learned my lesson too late once I got thrown into the furnace…or should I say thrown into the pavement?" April's cringing didn't deter him, and he kept on, "Even if that alien influenced you, you still chose to listen to it over the people you've known for going on three years. Do we…do _I_ matter that little to you? Am I just someone you can use at your convenience and abuse when I speak up?"

"D-Donnie, th-that's not true! You don't know how much I care for you!" April insisted. She quickly reached her hand forward and pleaded, "Donnie, please believe me!"

"Don't touch me! J-Just keep away from me!"

Donnie recoiled and echoed familiar words, but it was undetermined whether his expression or April's that night radiated more hatred. April looked at him as though he just slapped her in the face. This wasn't the Donnie she knew; not the sweet, gentle, quiet Donnie she first befriended. Or maybe this Donnie was always there, unleashed after being inflicted with enough physical and emotional wounds. This was the Donnie that got pushed too far and all but pushed back.

But how could she blame him?

Without thinking and heart still pounding, Donnie finally uttered the words, "After everything that's happened…h-how can I ever hope to trust you again? H-How can I still look at you and see a friend?"

Those two sentences were enough for April to choke out a sob and leave the room in a flash. In the past, Donnie would've screamed that he didn't mean it and run after her. This time, he wanted her gone. He wanted to hold onto the hurt and use it to protect himself. Maybe now she would understand the hurt he felt that night and even now. But there were no thoughts of victory…he only hanged his head and let out a weak whimper.

April's fleeing form immediately bumped into another body. It wasn't a sewer wall or a turnstile she ran into, but none-other than Raphael. Her grief momentarily turned into embarrassment, wondering how much he heard. How much did the others hear of that? A quiet moment later told her only the turtle in red heard the exchange. Now she wondered how he would respond to her pleading and Donnie's accusations.

"…Remember what I said, April." Raph started, his voice heavy with resignation, "He's still got a lot of hurt right now. As long as it's still in 'is heart…he's not exactly going to be nice."

The redhead wiped her eyed with the back of her wrist and sniffled weakly. Raph put Donnie's tongue-lashing in better words compared to what actually went down. It didn't make her feel any better. "…Will he…w-will he ever forgive me?"

To her dismay, Raph only shook his head and sighed, "…I dunno, April. You just gotta give it time. Once Donnie has 'is head cleared, we'll go from there. Until then…"

A green hand placed itself on April's shoulder as Raph concluded, "You should probably avoid th' lair for a while. Donnie doesn't need stress during 'is therapy. Then you can train an' all that jazz."

"No…after everything that's happened, the last thing I need is to train." April argued. "I gave Donnie my weapons…I don't deserve them back."

Raph sucked on his teeth and mulled over April's admission. In her state, telling her that she did deserve the weapons back would only start an argument. He would have to tell her something she'd be more willing to accept. "Then…work to earn 'em back. Talk things out with your dad, learn to control your powers, whatever'll help you. He may not see it now, but you making things right little by little is gonna help Donnie."

"…And what about you guys?"

The turtle in red shrugged nonchalantly. "We'll pay you visits an' make sure you're doin' okay. If Donnie makes a big deal out of it, I'll set 'im straight. Ain't gonna give 'im special treatment, after all."

April only nodded weakly before turning around and making her way to the tunnels. If what Raph said was true, Donnie only spoke the words out of hurt. It didn't lessen how much they hurt her, but he earned the right to speak that way after how she did him. Trying to force him to forgive her wouldn't make her any better than before, either. If it took weeks, months, or years to earn back his forgiveness…so be it.

Until then, she resigned herself from the title of kunoichi. She prayed she wouldn't be stripped of the title of friend…

* * *

 **I know it may seem like Donnie's being a little out-of-character, but I'd say that he's hurt enough to be angry and say some cruel things. It hurts him even more that April did it, and he's just wanting to hold onto the hurt to keep himself safe from further damage. But things will get better in time.**

 **With that said, there's one more chapter before the story is completed! I want to say thank you to all who have reviewed this story and for your patience with my updates! I hope I can make the final chapter worthwhile and for everyone to enjoy! So be sure to stay tuned for the next update!**


	17. Heal

**Author's Note: Finally, here it is: the final chapter of Falling, Falling, Fallen! I want to thank you all for the reviews for this story, the likes and the favorites, and for having patience with my updates! Real life's been hectic, but I'm glad I stuck with it until the end and kept writing. So now we have Donnie doing therapy to walk again after his shell injury, but he's not doing well. The brothers decide he needs to take a risk and have true closure with April, thus starting another talk. Will Donnie finally forgive April, or will he keep holding onto his anger and resentment? Well, let's read and find out!**

* * *

Chapter 17: Heal

 _One month later_

"C'mon, Donnie! You can make it!"

Michelangelo meant well, he really did. But his cheers of encouragement only made Donatello nervous. The longer he stared down the path made of gym mats, the farther away the end seemed. His body shook and made the makeshift railing of his 'therapy path' tremble in-sync. The way his brothers stared at him with hope made his anxiety grow and push doubt into his mind.

The last attack from April made his recovery from his injuries longer, to his dismay. Rockwell had him cleared a week ago to start physical therapy. It started small; a few leg stretches and laying on his shell again. Even those were painful at the start until he forced himself to endure it. But now he started on the most difficult aspect of his therapy: walking again. Which meant Mikey treated him like a baby just learning to walk by the way he smiled and stretched his arms out.

"C'mon, Donnie! Come to your baby bro!" Mikey encouraged in an overly-high voice.

Donnie instantly frowned and tightened his grip on the railing. "Mikey, don't talk in the baby voice. I'll do better if you're not watching."

"Then who's gonna catch you if you fall?" Raphael interjected, watching his purple-clad brother like a hawk and watching for a sign that he would collapse.

The remark considerably humbled Donnie as his eyes glided to the floor. His brothers only wanted to keep him from getting hurt. They felt a fall would crush his confidence in walking again and they wanted to prevent any and all falls. They meant so well, but he wasn't that fragile. Surviving being thrown into the pavement proved both his durability and will to live. He just had to get the hang of walking again until he was ready to be back on the field. He should be happy he wasn't paralyzed.

Why did he still feel a weight inside?

He didn't want to, but he thought of the face that had been absent for the past month: April.

Her regular visits to the lair halted after that night in his room. If she did visit, he wasn't aware, or the others refused to tell him. Her tessen and tanto remained in his room, pushed into the corner instead of being taken to the dojo. Why he didn't have Master Splinter take them, he could never figure out, but he found himself staring at them every now and then. Just one glance at the weapons brought on an unwanted sense of longing and emptiness. Part of him actually _missed_ April. He missed her laugh, her smile, her energy, the way she listened to his stories…

Yet he still had nightmares about her. He still had nights where he could hear her angry shouts, her cruel words, and he could literally feel her lashing out at him. He remembered so much of the bad that he didn't want to think about the good. Looking at it now, it honestly made him sound bitter. Maybe he wanted to be bitter if it meant never getting hurt again. But was holding onto the hurt having the opposite effect?

Donnie shuffled a few steps forward and immediately started to stumble. A sharp pain reverberated through his lower shell and he thanked the spirits above for the rails he grabbed onto. Leo immediately rushed to his side and held him up before his knees could hit the mat. Raph took over and pulled him to his feet, then held his brother as he let out a frustrated sob. Mikey went in and gave his brother some words of encouragement.

"Baby steps, D," Mikey soothed, "You're gonna get it if you keep trying."

Donnie lifted his head from the crook of Raph's shoulder and wiped his eyes with a frown. "I-I knew it'd be difficult…but it shouldn't be _this_ hard. It shouldn't still hurt."

"The pain will lessen as you use your legs more. There won't always be success on the first try, but that just means you have to keep going." Leo assured.

Instead of wanting to keep going, however, Donnie instead requested, "Can I just sit down for a while? I need pain medicine."

Though they wanted to make Donnie keep going and try again, pushing him would more than likely make him refuse to do it all-together. Leo helped his brother to his wheelchair and went to find his bottle of pain pills. He carefully monitored how much Donnie took so that he wouldn't grow addicted to it or overdose on it. While the turtle in blue went on a pill bottle hunt, Raph and Mikey left the dojo and began holding a conversation.

"Just startin' on it and it's already fallin' apart," Raph murmured to Mikey, careful to ensure the turtle in purple didn't hear, "He can't spend th' rest of his life in a wheelchair swallowin' pills. Either he walks again or doesn't."

Mikey looked at him with sad eyes and whispered, "Raph, he's been like this since he yelled at April. I know he might get mad, but…"

Raph didn't know what Mikey had in store until he saw him pull out his T-Phone and pull up the A's on the contact list. The name highlighted on the screen made his green eyes widen and he hissed, "Mikey, are you suggestin' we call 'er? Donnie'll blow a gasket!"

"I know, but what if it helps? This might be the only way to make him want to walk again!"

Raph bit his lip and contemplated what could possibly happen. If they actually invited April over to talk to Donnie, it could either help him let go of the bitterness setting him back or put him all the way back to square one. He wasn't blind; he knew Donnie's mental state contributed to the lingering pain and giving up with little effort. He could remember the physical symptoms he suffered when he once held onto his own anger. He knew Donnie and April both needed total closure, even if Donnie didn't totally forgive or trust April again. The two of them needed a talk that didn't involve yelling.

"…Do it, Mikey."

Raph could only hold his breath while Mikey dialed her number and greeted her with a quiet, "Hey, April? I…we need your help."

* * *

 _One hour later_

Donnie sat in his wheelchair and felt his pain medication taking effect. While his pain didn't completely disappear, enough of it was gone to where he could think of what happened earlier. His eyes went to the floor as he thought of how easily he called it quits on his first try. He thought of how pathetic he looked from crying over his legs giving out. No matter how much he tried to drown his pain or how much strength he mustered up, he couldn't muster the willpower to do it. He didn't even know if this was worth trying.

He suddenly heard footsteps. Taking his time to look up, he murmured, "Guys, can I just take a break for today-"

Donnie froze when he saw it wasn't his brothers stepping in. Into the dojo stepped April O'Neil.

There was an awkward silence between the two, prompting Donnie to take the time to really look at her. She wasn't in her kunoichi uniform or even her jersey and jean shorts, but in a light-yellow blouse and simple blue jeans. She even wore her hair down instead of having it in the usual ponytail. But it was the way her face looked that really took him aback, as she looked she'd aged some years while holding a calm air around her. He found it strange that the calm almost seemed soothing.

He hadn't seen her in a month, but looking at her made it feel like years.

"…A-April?"

The redhead waved shyly and greeted, "…Hey there, Donnie."

The first thoughts in Donnie's mind screamed at him to get away from danger. They told him to watch for those glowing blue eyes and another close-encounter with the pavement. The more those thoughts permeated his mind, the more his shell hurt. Other thoughts told him to yell at her to go away and tell her how this was still her fault. Then there were the thoughts, in a soft tone, telling him to let her speak. The part of him that wanted to give her a second chance. Donnie merely sighed and cleared his head, taking a deep breath as April cautiously stepped closer.

"You…you look nice today," Donnie noted, feeling a small blush rise to his cheeks, and corrected, "I-I mean h-how are things?"

April felt her heart drop when the turtle still looked scared of her. Still, she knew it would take more than being absent for a month to change things. Twirling a lock of hair around her finger, she replied, "Oh…things have been okay. It's been quiet without you guys."

So far, so good. Against his earlier feelings, Donnie decided to dip his toes into the metaphorical waters and let her keep talking. "H-How's your dad?"

"Great, great," April answered, "He and I had a lot of talking to do. He's been scared for a while…but things are okay between us. I even took his advice and attended one of those anger management classes. I think it's something even Raph would enjoy."

Donnie found himself stifling a chuckle, taking himself by surprise. He forgot the way he used to laugh at some of her jokes. A painful feeling of nostalgia flooded through him, but the walls were still up and he was afraid to completely let them down. He kept on questioning, "Well…what've you been doing other than making peace with your dad?"

April's face fell for a moment. She wanted to pour her heart out over how much she missed him and the way things used to be. The look in Donnie's eyes told her she needed to keep telling him her progress; to give him enough evidence to show she made changes for the better. It would still be up to him whether or not to accept it.

"I've been studying hard in school. I don't know if Casey told you, but I graduate in two weeks. I've…also been working to fully control my powers." She offered a somber smile and commented, "Dr. Rockwell's a better teacher than he gives himself credit for."

At the mention of her powers, Donnie visibly gulped. He still saw those glowing eyes and heard that disembodied voice in his dreams. The voice of Za-Naron with April's tone intertwined in it. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he totally blamed April and didn't put any blame on the Aeon. April listened to the spirit, though the spirit started all of this mess to begin with. April didn't seem like she came looking to make excuses, either.

Wait…why did she come in the first place? Donnie quickly put two and two together and asked, "My brothers told you to come here, didn't they?"

The redhead almost jumped out of her skin at the accusation. Instead of going into utter denial, she sighed and confessed, "They did. Mikey and Raph thought having me come here would give you motivation to walk again."

Donnie's eyes widened, feeling a sense of betrayal stick through his heart. _Traitors._

"At first, I didn't want to. I felt like coming here would do more harm than good. But then…Mikey said you wanted to give up. He said that you fumbled the first try and wanted to call it quits, even if you didn't say it out-loud." She saw the shocked look on Donnie's face and stepped forward, looking into his eyes and hammering down, "The Donnie I know doesn't give up, no matter what obstacles get in his way. I learned not to give up when Za-Naron tried to take over…I won't let you give up on walking."

Donnie had the urge to tell her that the Donnie she knew died when he hit the pavement, but that wasn't true. He just wanted to say it to hurt her; to be petty. Was it still worth it to hold onto the hurt and let it hold him back from healing? He remembered long ago that April learned not to hold grudges…maybe it was time he did the same.

Clutching at the armrests of his chair and feeling hot tears prick his eyes, Donnie confessed, "April…I…I can't exactly trust you for a while…not fully, anyway." Reaching up to wipe his eyes and get a few sniffles out, he told the stunned redhead, "But…but I forgive you."

April felt her own tears begin to seep through. "Donnie…"

"I miss you, April. I-I miss how things used to be before all this happened," The genius turtle hiccupped, "I've been so bitter and angry…I wanted to hate you. I-It's gotten to the point that it's…it's been making the physical pain worse. I felt like giving up…because I saw no point. It wouldn't take away what happened or…or how much you hurt me that night. Some nights…I even wanted to die. B-But you're right…that's not who I am."

To April's surprise, Donnie slowly offered his hand to her. He let her have the chance to take the first step…and now he needed to follow suit if things could start healing between them. "I can't fully trust you…but I'm more than willing to give you the chance to earn my trust back."

April hesitated for a moment but threw caution to the wind and placed her hand inside Donnie's. No sooner after she did she let herself be pulled into an embrace with the turtle in purple. Donnie didn't flinch or go rigid; he actually held her and didn't want to let go. He didn't want to hold onto the anger and end up pushing her or anyone else away. He wanted to heal, both physically and emotionally. He could feel the relief radiating off her and seemed to absorb it as his own relief grew.

Letting go after what seemed like a long time, April asked, "Donnie…do you want to try to walk again?"

Donnie looked surprised, but eyed the mats and rails before replying, "…Yeah."

April smiled softly. "I'll watch you. I won't leave your side."

She carefully helped him out of the wheelchair and guided him to the starting point. It was then that the other turtles came into the dojo to check on the duo's progress when they saw their brother standing once again. They immediately rushed over to the sides of the railing and prepared for Donnie to fall again. This time they could see the strengthened resolve on his face, like a weight lifted off his shoulders after too long.

The turtles and April held their breaths when Donnie shuffled his first step forward. His arms and legs trembled from lack of use combined with anxiety, but he was determined not to fail this time. He wanted to get better, and he was going to get better. He took a breath and pushed his other foot forward, wincing at pain shooting through the shield of medication. He needed to be strong, he needed to endure.

"You're doing it, Donnie! Keep going!" Mikey cheered.

The genius turtle took another step and felt his knees buckle, but he held tight to the railing and pulled himself back up. He pressed on and took yet another step forward, feeling his confidence grow with each. Even when his legs already screamed with fatigue, he kept strong and kept going.

"Donnie, don't give up!" Leo encouraged.

"Keep those feet movin', Brainiac!" Raph shouted.

Halfway down the path, Donnie's knees threatened to give out again. His arms grew tired from holding the railing so tight and he feared he would fall again. Just as he accepted going down again, April appeared at the end of the path, ready to meet him and ready to catch him. The same person who hurt him would be the person to catch him if he fell.

"You're almost there, Donnie! You can do this, I know you can!"

Now panting, Donnie blew a breath out of his nose and mustered up the strength to stand straight and shuffle forward. The pain and stiffness grew unbearable, but his willpower drowned it all out and kept him going. The shuffles grew brisk, and the wobbling in his weakened legs lessened slightly. Donnie huffed and pushed himself to the last few inches until his strength finally petered out and he collapsed into April's arms.

There were cheers from his brothers, but he only focused on the happiness written on the redhead's face. It wasn't just the happiness that he made it to the end of the path, but the happiness that they were beginning to heal. After everything that happened, Donnie found a genuine smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He could finally feel happiness that he could start getting closure. At this point, nothing could keep him down…not even Aeon crystals or evil alien spirits.

For the first time in a long time, Donnie didn't feel afraid.

And for the first time in a long time, Donnie slept peacefully that night.

* * *

 **And that's the end of the story! Once again, thank you for everyone who's reviewed this and followed with it to the end! Though Donnie's not ready to fully trust April, he's willing to forgive and give her the chance to earn his trust back. He's taking April's lesson about grudges to heart. At least we get the start of a happy ending for these two!**

 **I may write a sequel to this, but it'll just be a one-shot. I'll also be working on getting my new story, "The Power Inside Him" aka 'Donnie receives the Aeon Crystal instead of April' posted before long. Not to mention more updates on Turtle Dove II and Turtle Dove Tidbits.**

 **Thanks again, and I hope you've enjoyed this story! Until next time!**


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